"I know what I can do. I've never held myself out to be any great genius, but I'm plenty smart. And I've got good common sense and good instincts. And that's what people want in their leader." -Junior

We cannot allow George W. Bush to be elected President. Why? Because he's a fucking moron:

-I'm sure most people know of his foreign policy deficiencies. He confused Slovenia and Slovakia. He called Greek Grecians, and Kosovars Kosovians. Recently a political reporter asked Bush if he could name the leaders of Chechnya, India, Pakistan, and Taiwan, four political hot spots. He went one for four by correctly identifying the leader of Taiwan, Lee Teng-hui. It should be noted, however, that only the last name was uttered. Guessing that the leader of Taiwan's last name is Lee is like shooting fish in a fucking barrel. His answer was more like a blooper to left field than a line drive ("You really knocked the crap out of that one."). I don't happen to know the names of the four leaders either. I couldn't tell Slovenia from Slovakia from Suvlaki. But this man wants to become the leader of the most powerful nation in the world. He must know the world before he can assume command of it ('It's foreign policy, stupid').

-Junior went to Phillips Academy, Yale, and Harvard Business School. Pretty good schooling, huh? How much you wanna bet he got into those schools because his father was, at one point or another, head of the CIA, ambassador to China, Vice-President, and the Prez? His SAT score was 1200. Not bad, but he ain't no fucking Rhodes Scholar (like, ahem, Bill Bradley). He was a C average student at Yale.

Bush seems to think that his 'average-ness' is a virtue. In his mind, this mediocrity is supposed to somehow endear himself to the American public as proof positive that anyone can become President. In theory, this is true, but in reality, we don't want or need someone like ourselves to be President. It's a job that requires a lot more than good intentions. I don't doubt that Bush is a good man, fundamentally. When asked by a predominantly white audience in Iowa what his plan for illegal immigration was, Bush answered with this rather compassionate response:

"Family values do not stop at the Rio Grande River. There are moms and dads who have children in Mexico. And they're hungry…and they're going to come to try to find work. If they pay $5 in one place and $50 in another place, and they've got mouths to feed, they're going to come. It's a powerful instinct. It's called being a mom and being a dad."