Cliqueology

A study of government, social classes, and social standings in a high school environment.


High school (hi skool): A delicate balance of several social classes; a metaphorical thread ready to snap.

Written by Webster

Over the past two years, I�ve studied the going-ons at school concerning the different cliques and social groups at high school. For the following example, I�ll take a normal day at lunch, or at least how it was in 1997. This example shows clearly how territorial the different cliques are, by showing where the different clique groups are located at lunch:

Near the teacher parking lot, farthest to the left in the courtyard, is where the slackers hang out. This also includes ska freaks, dirties, druggies, and skaters. Farther toward the right are the Preps. They hang out on the sidewalk nearest to the actual courtyard. From there you could either branch off to the doorway to the vocational doorway, or to the gym doorway. Up near the vocational doorway you can usually find three or four slacker people. Down near the gym doorway (an area that has become forbidden), is where one could find the druggies, usually smoking, only leaving that area when a teacher approaches. Inside the cafeteria, you can find a smorgasbord of opposing cliques all forced into a small area. Near the back of the cafeteria, you can find the Jesus freaks. The next table or two contain the blacks, and wiggers. In the majority of the center, and off to the other side, you can find the preppies. In the very center are the jocks. At the tables perpendicular to the rest of the tables you can
find the rejects. Like the cheese, they stand alone. The ends of the last two tables belong to the slackers, but they usually aren�t in the cafeteria long enough to use them. Also, at the very last table, were the card players, but since the school banned cards, they mysteriously disappeared. There whereabouts are currently unknown.


The Social Classes and Sub Classes
Before I go any further, let me explain each of the different social classes.

Slackers
High: Well respected in the slacker community, may have non-slacker friends.
Medium: Respected in slacker community. Has very few, to no non slacker friends.
Low: Known to be in slacker community. Has many non-slacker friends. May also be known for being in Prep community.

Druggies
High: Always high, smokes everywhere possible, but rarely ever gets caught.
Medium: Often high. Smokes in courtyard. Caught sometimes.
Low: Never high. Doesn�t smoke, just wants to be known as druggie. Can�t get caught.

Preps
High: Avoids most dirties, but may have slacker friends. Respected by Preps, known by slackers.
Medium: Avoids slackers. Known my Preps. Usually includes Jocks.
Low: Hates slackers, respected by Preps, hated by slackers. Enjoys throwing stuff at slackers.

Gangsters
High: Connections with the mafia. Actually in gang.
Medium: Connections with other gang members. Actually in gang.
Low: Connections with cub scouts. In 4H.

Neutrals
The neutral group contains groups that have an almost equal ratio, or equal ratio of Slackers:Preps
Art People: Contains both slackers and Preps, and also a group of just artists. This includes those in the school plays, in bands, are those that just draw, and only draw.
God Squad: These people just get annoying. Ya know those WWJD bracelets? Ugh. I can�t write anymore about there guys. Sorry.
Wanabe Jocks: Although they may be considered Preps by some, they do not propose a threat to slackers or slackerism.


The Introduction of New Organisms to a High School Environment
There are two ways one can be accepted into a clique:
1. Often, after the school year has started, now students will be released into a high school environment. Thus begins the process of joining a clique. If similar cliques were presented at the old school of the new student, they will hang out near the clique they were in at the old school. If the new student stays loyal to the clique of their choosing for at least two days, they are then accepted into the clique.
2. A new organism enters the high school, and is approached by a member of a clique. That person is interested in bringing this new organism into a clique, so takes the new student to meet others in the clique. He or she is instantly accepted, but if he or she wants, can leave the clique and join another, but then my be resented by the members of the original clique.

The Preps, in the Natural Habitat

A fictionus short story
Over in the distance, I can see the small herd of Preps, grazing. As they can cause no real harm, I approach them, cautiously, I may add, as any sudden noise might frighten them. Slowly I approach from downwind, as Preps have an exceptional sense of smell, and can smell a predator up to five hundred yards away. As I get closer, I am able to hear them. It�s hard to imagine how the nonsense and jibber their mouths produce is actually a quite complex language. Fortunately, I studied this language, and am now quite fluent in it. I can also tell that the group I am approaching is female, as they have long, puffy hair. I lay low for a moment, and listen. They seem to be talking about the males of their species. I move in closer, and at about ten feet away, am spotted. The creature sees me, and then turns it�s head back toward the group. A moment later, those she�s talking to turn their heads and see me. They slowly walk away.

I move into the herd of Preps, and stand where the group I was watching was. Then one approaches me, a male, about five foot six, at the shoulders. He says something, many of the words I can�t translate. I look in my �Prep to English� dictionary, and find that most of what he said were slang terms of disrespect. He obviously feels intimidated around a higher life form, and thus must prove himself to his friends, and dispose of this new threat. I do the �Prep Dance of Peace�, a sacred dance used by Preps to promote peace among each other. The beast cocks his head, and then attacks. It�s human like hand strikes my stomach, and I fall over. As more Preps run up to join the kill, I make my escape without any further harm.
I go sit near the rest of the humans, and before long two Preps of the female gender approach.
�You okay?� one asks in her nonsensical language.
�Me Webster. Friend, ya? Alright.� I say. Experience has shown that this is the most acceptable greeting. They look at me funny. I point to my friends. �Them friends, good friends, dig it? Alright, ya.� I say. They shrug and walk away.
Have I insulted their kind? The known culture of the Preps in sketchy at best. I decide any further interaction could disrupt their lifestyle, and the results would be catastrophic.
THE END

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