Updated 6/9/03 (new Page Type)
Please sign the guestbook and let me know you were here!
PAGE UNDER MAJOR CONSTRUCTION!!
WELCOME TO SPOKENWORDD`S PLACE
Hello Black Planet! And what a great planet it is. I am SpokenWordd, I have
been around BP for almost a couple of years now but have not done anything
with my page until recently. I guess it is time to play catch up in a major
way. I want to create a page that is creative and interactive, something
that will be more than just ?booty bait?.
Hey BP Ladies! Before I go any further I would like to lay out what this
page is NOT. Here is a small tribute to a few of the annoying page types you
have encountered out there on the planet. [These pages are not listed in the
order of annoyance (necessarily)]
1. The Absolutely No Effort Page (a.k.a. Less is Less for short) -
This brother has heard the hype from all his friends about how BP is the
ultimate ?booty bait?. He wants to tell a few stories of his own so he
decides to create his own place on the planet. After logging in he is amazed
that during the setup he has to answer actually questions and do a little
writing, so after entering his name and DOB he decides to wing it all the
way. He setups up his blank page and immediately begins his quest for the
coveted prize. After checking a few pages he notices, ?hey they actually
fill this stuff in AND post pics?. After reciting a few bars of ?You Got
Game? to himself, his stinking a** decides to send a note to a BP mailbox
nearest you. After writing some tired lines about his bling bling he hits
the send button, smiles, and winks at the screen thinking it?s just a matter
of time?. WTF? By the way, if you ever hook up with a Kat with this type of
page it?s like having sex with a man in a cardboard box, no accomodations
required.
2. The Village Idiot Page
(a.k.a. Short Bus Rider) -
These pages are reaching epidemic levels on the planet. I?m beginning to
think Al-Queda has put something in the water supply. How many times have
you looked at a note or a dating page lately and then reeled back in horror
as you realized, ?This son of a bitch is illiterate?! It starts off
innocently enough, you check the picture and think, ?he?s cute let?s see what
he wrote?. After the first sentence it hits you? either he, his baby cousin
or Trick Daddy wrote this BS. I mean we have all heard of Country Grammar
but damn! This Kat blows it all: your, and you?re; to, too, and two the
whole damn thing. And then to add insult to injury, after he tells you about
his professional job he hits you with the double plural ? I don?t really be
talking to a lot of womens and your very beuty to?. Yes ladies, you are
kickin? it with Biz Markie?s little brother. With the rash of Village Idiots
on the planet right now I?d just delete the note, but if you ever get a
persistent one actually spell check and edit the shit and send it back.. I
guarantee you?ll never hear from him again. Hooking up with a Kat with this
type of page is like... well? kickin? it with Biz Markie?s little brother.
(Plus if you ever have kids with him they?ll be little Cro-Magnon babies..
not good) p.s. CONVERSATE IS NOT A WORD!!!
3. The Bling Bling Page
(a.k.a. Big Baller??? NOT!!!) - These pages LOL... These pages LMAO (sorry)
are probably the ones the tickle me the most out of all the various page
types on BP. The great thing about this page type is that it is readily
identifiable before you even get there, so listen up ladies:
1. The BP id almost always makes reference to one of several things:
a. Make or Model of a car (BWMBaller, BenzPlaya, Porshe911 are a
few examples)
b. Designer labels (FubuFred, Versace811, GucciGreeneyes)
c. Currency or Precious Metals (Diamonds4eva, Stacks-o-cash,
Paperfadayz, Platinum-Grillz)
This list is not exhaustive but if you get a note from a name like this...
RUN!!!!!! These pages, once you get there, are always marked by having a
series of backgrouds which includes pictures of cash, cars, and items of
value. The picture gallery will usually include snapshots of him and his
friends standing around a nice car with one or more of them in the "Jail
Pose" [for those who don`t know it`s that crouching pose that us black folks
just can`t stop doing when a camera comes out]. The page never talks about
what the brotha is about, he let`s the picture and that ride do the talking
for him. Answering notes from this page type is to be done at your own
risk... they have already told you where things stand. Also, it has always
been my personal opinion that putting precious metals in your teeth should
disqualify you from the gene pool, so look closely for those platinum grills
ladies. Kicking it with a brother from the Bling Bling page type is like
having a pimp of your very own to love and to hold. Happy Hunting!!
4. The Thug Page
(this one`s for you Nikki)
(a.k.a. Just Get a Job) -
Ok, where do I begin on this one. Ever since the song "Gotta Get a RuffNeck"
by MC Lyte it seems that the Thug brotha was thrust into the limelight. He
has had quite a run now, and has even had an exclusivety contract with the
hearts of some sistas out there. He is in movies, music, and video;
plastered all over the psyche of pop culture.
I guess it only makes sense that he would also make a big showing in the
arena of online dating, and ultimately BP. But I think this time he has gone
too far... The Thug page type seeks to latch onto this media exposure and
ride all that free advertisement right into your panty line. Thispage type
goes for the knock out punch right away. Lacking any finesse WHATSOEVER, the
Thug will send you a note that makes you want to smack him and his momma.
This is perhaps the most annoying page type in existence to date. He leaves
a slime trail in his wake and seems to want you to know it. Here is his M.O.
1. His page is marked with as many four letter words as possible.
Thesaurus or tact are not in the vocabulary. He comes hard and strong, "Whut
the F**k is up ma?" is his likely opener. Ahhh.. he`s soo dreamy.
2. He is so diplomatic in his approach. In his first note he`s likely
to ask the basics (lol), "So how wuz yo weekend, did u get sum?", "So u gon
let me in dat back or whut?", and your personal favorite "So is dat azz as
phat as it look?". He`ll be a real hit at your church picnic!
3. He is very close to his friends. His page is likely to have a shout
out section featuring his dead homez and the living ones he`d like to share
you with. Just what your father wanted for you huh?
4. His pics will feature he and his friends in the "jail pose" at their
favorite project basketball court. See how many of the following you can
find in the pics: 40 bottles, blunts, condom wrappers, Do rags, and (look
closely) crack viles. See, he`s keeping you on your toes already.
5. In a mystery phenomenon I am currently investigating, the Thug
brotha seems to make comments about your appearance whether you have a pic on
your page or not! "Hey shortie I luv dem lipz", "Dam gurl you got sum phat
a@@ thighs" etc., etc.
Is he psychic? Intuitive? Does he know you? Nah, he`s just really, really
really stupid. You`re falling in love now aren`t you?
As you can see this no nonsense brotha (pun intended) is poised to take over
The Planet with blunt words and brute force. If you haven`t encountered this
brilliant strategist yet, ooooh you will. You, your friends, cousins, and
your mom if she has a page.
You should only hook up with this page type if you are a grad student and
need a subject for a research paper... fast! If you really need some Thug
love, don`t forget to bring a drug test and to equip your car with a metal
detector. P.S. (take his urine sample at the BEGINNING of the date) Have
fun!
More page types coming soon (forgive the construction please).
In the meanwhile if you are interested in some great conversation and
something beyond the norm then hit me up I?d be happy to oblige.
A big shout out to Juice-28 a great friend through and through. I love you
in a special way in many ways you are my female counter-part. Watch out for
the sharks out here dear.
A special shout out to my little sis Trouble_24, I love you girly, we are two
of a kind.
To Nikki, you are a breath of fresh air. Keep on going on girl.
Ellesgarden, luv ya. You and those eyes.
Crystal, keep on smiling, you are a warrior indeed. Your convictions and
character are inspiring. Keep marching forward.
Stephanie, Mabuhay! Thanks for all the laughs and smiles. How do we ever get
anything done? Maganda ka... It`s been great getting to know you. Salamat!
Check back for page updates.
Send a note with your comments and horror stories.. I`d LOVE to read them!
My Profile
Member Since: 2001
Name: SpokenWordd
Age: 29
From: Philly (Live in Maryland)
RACE
Black
SEXUAL PREFERENCE
Heterosexual
COLLEGE
2 years
INTERESTS:
Computers, Music, Movies, Great Conversation
I`m completely down-to-earth!
Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.
NowPlaying:Jill Scott - He Luvs Me
$$$BP_JAMZ$$$
|