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Equal Ground....
Perhaps l don't react in the way that was expected
when insults are thrown my way...
More often than not i'll laugh or simply smile,
and sometimes have something kind to say...
l do get angry,.. and yes,.. l get hurt too,
but i've been surrounded by pain before...
Mere words or punches from a perfect stranger
could never really hurt me much more...
Sometimes l think l might be lying to myself
and that the pain is truly more than what l let on...
Having shields in just the right places though,
such self-inspection l rarely reflect upon,...
...unless the feeling hasn't gone...
l know that to many it's all merely a game
to see just what it takes to push me over a ledge...
l laugh harder at their attempts which are purely in vain
for i've balanced before upon a razor blades edge...
Thinking of such l even laugh at myself,
and at the ego it must look like l hold...
Yet calm, cool, and collective is my preferable style,
despite sometimes l grow stupidly bold...
So let the insults fly as l smile and walk on by,
and don't be surprised if l still admire you too...
For as l like to say, of you l shall never judge,
and l hope you can see that what l say is true,...
...for noone is better than me...
...nor l of any of you...
J. E. Bane...Copyright Dec. 28th of 1998
I Am Home...
Many years with many dreams have gone by,
and throughout it all l have wondered what l could offer or give...
l've looked for a home,.. a place to finally rest my weary soul,
and as yet,.. such dreams remained ever so elusive...
Well,.. time moved on as did those dreams of mine
while tears of both triumph and failures assailed me...
l learned that indeed there are eyes in the heart
that can help one not only 'feel',.. but truly see...
lt was those very eyes that caught a glimpse of hope
upon horizons that once l dared never to really look...
Those same very eyes also taught me to let others look in,
and to show them the pains and joys in a once closed book...
Perhaps for too long l let my heart grow cold,
but it seemed necessary for such a long time in life...
Yet now,.. i'm glad l opened up to let in some light
which seemed to fend off the bitterness from past strife...
My lady,.. we have been through much together and apart,
but still and all it is very little of what will come...
As always, l am ever thankful we've taken the time we have,..
to not only fulfill needs,.. but to learn where they come from...
l think back to all those times we cried out to each other
from the very deepest part of our hearts...
Wishing and wanting and hoping to oneday hold each other,
and to close the distance of all those miles that kept us apart...
Well,.. and here we are,.. so much closer,
and as yet both of us knowing we have some distance to go...
More than ever l have discovered the value of our patience,..
taking the time to understand what doesn't always show...
So here l am,.. thinking away about so many different things
in ways that touched me when better known...
Even if only whispered with eyes closed from some day or night dream,..
it's nice to hear the words,.. I'm home...
me...