| Alternative Norfolk's Crucial Questions | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Will the rare birds return? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Word was released today that members of the Audubon Society and local birdwatching clubs are anxiously awaiting the springtime of 1999 to see if it brings the return of the Silver Throated Sales Tax Warbler, an unpredictable species of songbird last seen in Norfolk in November of 1996. Experts on Warbler behavior expect the birds to arrive in multiple clusters, fly from street to street, flitting from house to house, emmitting their well known "1/2 cent sales tax increase" warble. Only this time they are expected to broaden their call for more money to include a huge array of "needs" in the form of enhancements of all kinds. As a result of the crushing defeat of the "paving and pothole" warble of 1996, this season's warble is expested to change somewhat in order to warble about an entire shopping list of projects, hoping that the new warble will be sucessful in buying off more votes from a wide range of birdwatching citizens. If the Silver Throated Sales Tax Warblers show up, birdwatchers and other citizens are likely to question the warblers as to the efficacy and sanity of pumping additional millions of dollars of hard earned tax money into the wasteful and expanding bureaucracy. Some claim that it vaguely resembles old time 'Soviet Agriculture' where waste and inefficiency led to more than 60 years of "shortages." "First things first! Clean up bureaucracy before dumping additional tax money into that pit!" say citizen birdwatchers, and "no taxation without REAL representation; no taxation without full information." Whatever unfolds, the banter between Warblers and citizen birdwatchers should prove lively and revealing, if the birds show up. Some expect questions to be raised as to the past 56 months during which the City of Norfolk received extraordinary sums of sales tax revenue, only to have empty pockets whenever asked for basic services such as protection. Citizen birdwatchers wishing to adopt a Warbler or support Warblers are asked to contact the Norfolk Area Chamber of Warblers which is also the home of the Greenback Consensus Democracy Warbler-- a cousin of the Silver Throated Sales Tax Warbler, sharing many colors and feathers. On the other hand, citizen birdwatchers wishing to challenge the Silver Throated Sales Tax Warbler or learn more about its motives and belief systems are advised to watch closely in the local Norfolk Daily Warbler News for a public notice of upcoming formation of the W.W.A.W., a political action group whose initials stand for "WE WONDER ABOUT WARBLERS." (PLEASE NOTE: A future survey of birdwatching in Norfolk will focus on the 5 year infestation by vagrant "Loopers" which harass and "drop" on the downtown Norfolk business district in the evenings. Close attention will be paid to the DRUG BRAINED LOOPERS, SCREAMING BOOMBOX LOOPERS, LITTERING AND LOITERING LOOPERS, the BEE BOPPA LOOPERS, abd, of course, the O-C-D LOOPERS which are belived to be the primordial ancestors of all Loopers. O-C-D: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.) | |||||||||||||||||||||||
|
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
Favourite links
|
|
| ||||||||||||||||||||
|
This page has been visited
|