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A Song of Ice and Fire / Other Topics / The Duel

Claidhaim
User ID: 9301033
May 29th 11:36 AM
Okay, residents of the board, here is the latest from the Revanshimus Maximus on the duel between Jeff (aka the Commoner) and Lady Min.

I didn't get there on time (slow computer) but I did manage to save the whole thing. After cutting and pasting it together, I now present it to you for your reading pleasure.

Please note that this whole thing was done in good fun and no egos were bruised or feelings hurt. None of the insults were meant to harm, but for our enjoyment.

Enjoy.

This is where I came in after taking sooooo long to login.
-
<Min27> well, she's my squire. of yours she will. YOUR
squire seems to be occupied with usurping the kingdom...
<Min27> there is our noble judge
<Claidhaim> Well, I finally made it.
<guest-Jeff> True. All rise!! The honorable Judge Claidhaim Presiding
<Min27> ***curtseying to Judge Claidham***
<Claidhaim> Where is everyone else? I thought this would be more populated
<Min27> Greetings to your highness!
<guest-Jeff> ***loudly passing gas***
<Min27> I don't know where they are. But the challenger and the challenged is here
<Claidhaim> Just to re-announce that my phone line has a case of the "others" and I might get
kicked out at any time
<guest-Jeff> Well, I'm hung over as it is, so maybe the others are as well. Can we save this after
its over?
<Min27> I mean this already stinking carcass of the Commoner over there...
<Claidhaim> I will try and cut paste into txt or something
<guest-Jeff> ***belch***
<Claidhaim> Ok, lets get this little shindig going, shall we?
<Min27> I am ready.
<guest-Jeff> Take your best shot
<Min27> My best? My third best will be sufficient for you, Commoner!
<Claidhaim> Ok, now since Min challenged Jeff, Jeff gets to go first. Jeff, your first character.
<guest-Jeff> What??? That's a flip from what was supposed to happen! Its supposed to go Min,
Jeff, Min, Jeff, Jeff, Min. Challenger goes first.
<Claidhaim> All right, fine, I really don't care, but I thought it was Challenged first.
<Claidhaim> Jeff, Min, Jeff, Min, Jeff, Min
<Min27> Ok
<Claidhaim> So, Jeff, will you go or do you demand that Min goes first
<guest-Jeff> Min, proceed as agreed. You go.
<Min27> just a second, phonecall...
<guest-Jeff> Still operating that phone sex line, huh?
<Min27> jup
<Min27> back
<Min27> my boss...
<guest-Jeff> Your pimp?
<Min27> My employer.
<guest-Jeff> As I said...
<Min27> The man who gives me money for real, hard work.
<guest-Jeff> Well, as I said...
<Claidhaim> Welcome Ran as witness
<guest-Ran> <waves a welcome before taking a seat, his faithful servant Cutbert not far behind>
<guest-Ran> Hey, folks. :)
<guest-Jeff> Min, this is no time to begin earning pocket change, get started!
<guest-Jeff> Yo Ran. Where's Min?
<Claidhaim> What happened to Min? Welcome Nenz
<Claidhaim> Ran did you chase her off?
<Claidhaim> Jeff, I don't think your insults were that bad.
<guest-Jeff> Jeez, I was just tossing out a few innocuous insults to get warmed up.
<guest-Jeff> I hope not, cause the Duel insults will be far worse.
<Claidhaim> We'll give her a little while to come back
<guest-Ran> I hope I didn't. Maybe Cutbert scared her off. You know how he is with cutting
thumbs off.
<Claidhaim> Maybe she hit the wrong key or something
<guest-Jeff> Anybody who chooses to defend Cersei is just asking for it.
<guest-Jeff> Or maybe its the pocket change thing.
<Claidhaim> Yeah, I wouldn't have picked the hardest ones to defend
<Min27> the others took my connection...
<Claidhaim> I thought so
<Min27> and here I am again, ready to do justice
<guest-Ran> <hands Min a torch>
<Claidhaim> I have the same problem
<guest-Jeff> Another satisfied customer, I presume
<Claidhaim> .
<Claidhaim> .
<Min27> ***takes torch*** thank you, Ran.
<Claidhaim> Let's get going, shall we?
<Min27> sure
<Min27> I am still ready.
<Min27> If my computer is...
<Claidhaim> Okay, Min your up to defend?????
<Min27> So I shall start, right?
<Claidhaim> Correct.
<guest-Jeff> Proceed, Hag
<Min27> My first character is Theon Greyjoy.
<Claidhaim> Let 'er rip, or go ahead
<Min27> And here is what I have to say about him:
<Claidhaim> Welcome Emily
<Claidhaim> Faithful squire
<Min27> Welcome my squire!
<guest-Jeff> M squire may be out getting laid. A far better use of his time, I might add.
<Min27> As you see, The Commoner was deserted by his squire, as Dirjj is occupied by
usurping the kingdom...
<guest-Jeff> Quit stalling.
<Min27> We were about to begin.
<Min27> Now that my Squire is here, I will start.
<Min27> Theon Greyjoy is the first to defend.
<Min27> Theon: The essence of man. Two souls live in his breast. In him, the eternal fight
between good and evil take place.
<Min27> He is torn between the worlds.
<Min27> Torn between Starks and Ironmen.
<Min27> Torn between love and hate.
<Min27> He loved Ned. He loved Robb. And he loved his father.
<Min27> But none of this ever was answered.
<Min27> Ned treated him as the hostage he was, because he saw the Greyjoy. And his father
rejected him, because he saw the Stark in him
<Min27> He tried to please them, tried to impress them. And over and over again, he failed.
<Min27> He was rejected (in his view) by Ned, rejected by Catelyn, rejected by his father, by his
sister.
<Min27> And in him grew the strong will to show them all.
<Min27> To show them he was worthy, that he could achieve power.
<Min27> All his actions, at the beginning were driven by the will to prove his worth. And
whatever he did, he failed. Again and again.
<Min27> The story of Theon is the story of humankind. The story about the struggle between
good and evil. About the struggle to find our place in the world, to find people who stand up for us.
<Min27> And Theon's story shows us where a man (or woman) can be led if he (or she) tries to
please too much. For that is Theon's initial crime:
<Min27> He wanted to be loved.
<Min27> That is it. I am done.
<Claidhaim> Jeff, give it a go.
<Min27> I am waiting, stinking Commoner.
<guest-Jeff> Can I puke now? Ok, I'll wait. You know, when this started I tried to figure out how
Min selected these three individuals - Theon, Cersei, and Arya. What did they have in common?
<guest-Jeff> Then I had it. They all share common characteristics with Min herself. For
example, all have less of a mustache than does Min. But I digress
<guest-Jeff> Theon, who tries to molest his sister. Min obviously identified with this because of
her own desperation to find _somebody_ with whom to have sex. Like Theon, mere status as a
sibling would prove no barrier.
<guest-Jeff> Then of course there's the ravaging of two young boys. Again, young boys are often
the target of desperate women such as Min because its all they can find.
<Min27> -)
<guest-Jeff> But as to the merits of Theon's character, the guy is a self-centered whiner who has
no moral standards
<guest-Jeff> "I just want to be loved". What Crap. So does everybody, Min, but you don't see us
willing to commit murder and betrayal in order to be "loved".
<guest-Emily> So sorry for interrupting the stinking Commoner - but I've just found out how to
operate this thing, so I felt I'd better wave the shadowcat flag
<Min27> thank you, My Worthy Squire!
<Min27> go on, Commoner
<guest-Jeff> Yeah, Theon's "torn" -- torn between molesting his sister and murdering the
innocent miller's boys. The fact that you think his conduct is defensible is sad. Its bad enough when a
murderer feels sorry for himself -- its truly sad when others apparently feel more empathy for the
murdere than they do for the victims
<guest-Jeff> Why not defend the miller boys, Min. They're the ones who really needed it. Fini'!
<guest-Jeff> That is all.
<Claidhaim> Well, that was an interesting round. Min defending with emotion and Jeff's
scathing personal attack with a few mentions towards Theon.
<Min27> Ok, can I answer to that or do we go straight to the next round, Your Highness?
<Claidhaim> .
<Claidhaim> .
<Claidhaim> Next Round, Jeff you are up to defend your first character
<guest-Jeff> NO answers, we�ll never finish
<Min27> oh, yes, whiny Catelyn.
<guest-Emily> What do you mean, no answers?
<guest-Jeff> I choose to defend... Ned!
<Claidhaim> GA
<Min27> Oh, whiny Ned....
<Min27> Emily: That were Claidhaim's rules... we could all choose to discuss it after the duel,
though.
<Min27> Just to keep the duel in order.
<guest-Jeff> Lord Eddard Stark. A man universally acclaimed as honorable. Respected by all
throughout the Kingdom for his honesty and integrity. "An honest and honorable man". But his
honor is not all that matters. He accepts the sole public black mark on his name to honor
<guest-Jeff> the dying request of his sister and to save the life of an innocent baby. He cares
enough for children that he risks possibly his own life in order to give the whore Cersei the chance to
save herself and her children from Robert's wrath. Only the naivet� of Sansa ruined his plan.
Was Ned perfect? No. He made some poor judgments. But his motives were always the best and
Westeros is a far worse place now that he is gone.
<guest-Emily> Have you quite finished?
<guest-Jeff> Including Emily. That is all.
<Claidhaim> Min?
<Min27> The Commoner is not only slow witted, but also slow-typing...
<Min27> Yes, I will answer to that.
<guest-Jeff> Bad connection.
<Min27> bad excuse
<Min27> Eddard Stark
<Min27> well, honorable for sure.
<Min27> but stupid.
<Min27> As his wife (we will talk about her later), Ned chose to take the wrong decisions
whenever decisions were to be made.
<Min27> Honorable to the point of stupidity. As Stannis Baratheon.
<Min27> With Stannis, we saw where the will to be perfectly just can lead. Because there is no
perfect justice. And no perfect honour.
<Min27> Eddard never understood that. He wanted to be perfect: A perfect father, a perfect Lord,
a perfect Hand. He failed in all. He was a just father, and I am sure he loved his children, but did
he show it?
<Min27> He tried to be a good hand, but never quite understood the sense of higher politics at
King's Landing.
<Min27> He trusted the wrong people over and over again. And that is the strongest approach
against Ned: He is naive.
<Min27> And with this naivet� and stupidity, he paid with his own life. He loved children?
Perhaps, but it was him who drove Sansa and Arya to disaster. Him and his even more stupid wife.
<Min27> Without his decisions, all Stark children might still be safe and happy. Good to the point
of naivet�, honorable to the point of stupidity, so good and honorable that he is quite boring. So
boring that even GRRM chose to delete him. There was nothing more to say about good,
honorable Ned.
<Min27> Done.
<guest-Ran> <grumbles>
<guest-Emily> Applauds
<Claidhaim> Okay, Min give us your second character.
<guest-Ran> Ahh, I'm grumbling because the Others stormed past the Wall, hunting for me. I
missed just about everything after Jeff started. ;P
<Min27> *smiles to her squire*
<Claidhaim> If I could copy and paste this, I would, but I can't make it work.
<Min27> Ran, we will try to get a chat transcript of this...
<guest-Jeff> All right already, let's go!
<Claidhaim> Let's get back to Min's Second Character.
<Min27> Which was Cersei Lannister.
<Min27> By defending Theon, I tried to show that good and evil are not so easy to differ. Not
always.
<Min27> With Cersei Lannister, it is different. She IS evil.
<Min27> I will not try to defend her now. Though I could state tons about her loving her children,
about loving Jaime and some such, about her childhood beneath beaming, gloryful Jaime, about
how she tried to copy her brother...
<Min27> but I won't.
<Min27> She is evil, yes. But she has something most people lack: Courage. This woman has
backbone. She is strong, and she takes what she wants.
<Min27> I do not like her. Indeed I would like to see her head on a spike. But she is admirable.
<Min27> She is the only woman in King's Landing who has a strong insight in politics and
intrigues. She refuses to be reduced to the "smiling charming princess" thing.
<Min27> She is ready to do everything, literally, to defend the man she loves and her children. Of
all Lannisters, SHE is the Lion.
<Min27> And when she sees everything going down, her empire, her plans, her life. She does
not shy away.
<Min27> She tells Sansa at the feast, that Ser Ilyn shall kill her and all the other Ladies in case
of a sacking. This was honest. She meant it. Better being dead than be defeated.
<guest-Jeff> ****snore****
<Min27> Cersei is strong, clever and courageous. Evil, yes. A person to hate. But people to hate
are better that people who just leave you cold. The Starks are Ice. Cersei is the incarnation of Fire.
<guest-Jeff> ****snore****
<Min27> Done.
<Min27> You can wake up again, Commoner.
<guest-Emily> *Hits Jeff with flagpole*
<Claidhaim> Okay Jeff
<Min27> thanks, squire :-)
<guest-Jeff> Backbone? Like Min herself, Cersei spends so much time _on_ her back that a
backbone hardly seems necessary.
<guest-Jeff> I'll not be so long-winded as the Hag, but the similarities between Min and Cersei
are too good to resist. Let's face it, Cersie's plea that she should have been a man clearly identify
her as having the worst case of penis envy in the entire Seven Kingdoms
<guest-Jeff> And Cersie is beautiful as well . . . oh, I guess the comparison isn't _perfect_.
<Min27> MAY THE OTHERSTAKE MY COMPUTER!
<Min27> did I miss The Commoner's ineloquent and insulting response?
<Min27> And did my worthy squire follow me into the depth of disconnection?
<Claidhaim> Well, I guess so. I'm still trying to figure out how to get a transcript.
<Claidhaim> Jeff, Character #2 please.
<guest-Jeff> Look, Cersie is a whore who will sleep with her brother, her cousin, or her worst
enemy -Ned. But while Min lauds her courage, I ask -- how much courage did it take for Cersei to
give the orders to murder the innocent children of Robert Baratheon. What, she killed maybe 6 little
kids? Oh, the brave and courageous Cersei. Theon and Cersei -- Min seems to have lots of
sympathy for those who murder children.
<Min27> Claid: The one of us who was in here for the whole time can just mark everything,
press ctrl +c, and then copy it to every word-program
<guest-Jeff> Okay, I'm done, Character 2, Catelyn
<Min27> whiny Cat, finally.
<guest-Jeff> The Lady Catelyn Stark, unlike the Lady Min and the Lady Cersei, is a true lady.
<guest-Jeff> She is devoted to her husband, children, and family, but is also capable in her own
regard. Sure, she's done some dumb things, but we tend to ignore her good advice as well. I'll
simply point to two things. First, she told Ned _not_ to go to King's Landing. Had he listened, things
would have been far different. She was right.
<guest-Jeff> Second, she argued strongly with Robb about not sending Theon to his father. She
was obviously dead on right again.
<guest-Jeff> She showed some talent for negotiation with Renly and Stannis even if they were
too stupid to listed. But let's move this whole thing along.
<Min27> yes, please.
<guest-Jeff> You can pick apart Catelyn quite easily because she has done some dumb things.
But she's had a child almost murdered, crippled for life, and now thinks that both he and Rickon
are dead. Catelyn is a character truly deserving of sympathy and what she has suffered is a
reasonable excuse for her actions. Why is that one such as Min will defend scum like Theon and Cersei
but attack a mother who made some bad decisions after lo
<guest-Jeff> Your turn, Hag
<guest-Emily> How DARE you address my Lady as hag!
<Min27> calm, my squire. he does that constantly, and I don't really hear it anymore.
<Min27> No sense for rules and morals, the Commoner has.
<guest-Emily> I'd noticed
<Min27> Catelyn, whiny little Catelyn.
<guest-Jeff> _MY_ Lady?? I always thought you're relationship was more than just lady and
squire
<guest-Emily> What did you have in mind?
<Min27> Emily: Just don't answer the stinging Carcass of a man.
<Min27> He is not worth it.
<guest-Emily> As you command.
<guest-Jeff> Proceed!!! unlike the Hag, I do have a life
<Min27> Back to Lady Catelyn Stark. What did the Commoner say? A true Lady, devoted to her
husband and children?
<Min27> Oh do true.
<Min27> A true medieval Lady: Good at smiling and looking good and shaking hands with Ned's
fellow-Lords.
<Min27> Good for nothing else.
<Min27> Some few wrong decisions? Give me a break!
<Min27> She is driven by her so called "devotion" only.
<Min27> She is self-centered and whiny.
<Min27> Telling Ned not to go to King's Landing was not out of understanding politics. She just
wanted to hang on to Ned and her children like an ape to a tree.
<Min27> Taking Tyrion - wrong. She just wanted her personal revenge.
<Min27> Leaving Winterfell - wrong. She just wanted to see Ned and her daughters.
<Min27> And thus left Winterfell in the hands of an eight-year-old boy and an old maester.
<Min27> Staying with Robb - oh so wrong. Robb is a grown man, and he does not need her.
<Min27> But he reminds her of Ned most of all, and she seeks being near to him now. Being in
his way, that is.
<Min27> Instead, she should have been in Winterfell. Family, duty, honour? Let me laugh.
<Min27> All her decisions are driven by what she wanted for herself. As Cersei's.
<Min27> But unlike Cersei, Cat was not able to admit it. She instead chose to cover her wishes
and selfishness behind excuses of family and duty.
<Min27> She lied to herself and thus to others. And she keeps on whining about her fate!
<Min27> Cat may be devoted to her family, but devoted to a point where she will do nothing but
wrong.
<guest-Jeff> ***snore***
<Min27> Family, duty and honour? Selfish, whiny and stupid would be much more fitting.
<Min27> Done.
<Claidhaim> Min, #3 if you please.
<Min27> Squire: The flagpole, please.
<guest-Emily> *Hands over flagpole*
<Min27> Yes, the third one. Arya of House Stark.
<Min27> no, you should HIT him with the flagpole. He sleeps again...
<guest-Emily> My Lady had commanded me not to respond to him in ANY way...
<guest-Jeff> Wait!! I am to go now. Your character is last.
<guest-Emily> Judge?
<Claidhaim> Okay.
<guest-Jeff> Check the board, fools. I wrote it down.
<Claidhaim> Yeah, but I don't think that was right.
<Claidhaim> I don't really care anyway.
<Claidhaim> GA Jeff
<Min27> It is not YOU who makes the rules, but Our Highness.
<guest-Jeff> Danaerys. There are many things I could say in her defense.
<Min27> GA, Commoner.
<guest-Jeff> How she survived years of physical abuse at the hands of her twisted brothers but
maintained her sanity and sense of self.
<guest-Jeff> How she endured being raped by Khal Drogo, but turned it into her own strength by
adapting to the culture and becoming a queen
<guest-Jeff> How she survived the death of her husband and endured again
<guest-Jeff> And how she will soon be poised to recover her throne.
<guest-Jeff> But none of that is necessary, for I choose to defend Danys on one ground and one
ground alone. And that is...
<Min27> she's a good-looking chick?
<Min27> she's under 18?
<guest-Jeff> Any woman who walks around freely with one bare breast is good enough for me.
Uh, excluding, of course, the Hag and her squire. The sight of their bare breasts this close to
lunch would ruin my appetite.
<guest-Emily> Don't worry Jeff...you're unlikely to have the pleasure of such a sight.
<Min27> Don't even try to hope it.
<guest-Jeff> If its good enough for Khal Drogo, its good enough for me. I stand ready, Hag!
<Claidhaim> GA Min
<Min27> That REALLY WAS your reason? Well...
<Min27> OK, as Jeff defended Dany for the only reason that he wants to bed her...
<Min27> What shall I say against her then?
<Min27> OK, here I go.
<Min27> Dany is sure admirable for all she endured. And here is what makes me puzzle.
<Min27> The Commoner seems to like women who are "devoted", who "endure". And who, of
course, are willing bed-partners for men such as him.
<Min27> He likes Catelyn for her devotion to her husband. He likes Dany NOT for her strength, not
for her will to go ahead, to stand up and walk after every blow. He likes her because she walks
with one breast bared.
<guest-Jeff> Amen.
<Min27> I think that is enough to give a good laugh to his points of view. There are many things
to say for Dany. He did not point out even one of them.
<Min27> He likes her because in his puzzled mind, he sees a willing 14-years-old girl with one
bared breast. I think that is enough to tare his argumentation for Dany to pieces.
<Min27> Done.
<Claidhaim> GA Min with Arya
<Min27> Yes, Arya. As Jeff said, I have a heart for murderers.
<Min27> The Commoner seems to like weak women. I prefer strong ones. Arya is strong.
<Min27> From a little defiant tomboy-girl, she quickly turned when her whole world was torn to
pieces.
<Min27> Unlike Cat, unlike Sansa, she did not whine for one second.
<Min27> She did not look around for anyone to help her. She helped herself.
<Min27> People tend to condemn Sandor and the like for killing. Arya killed as cold-blooded as
they did.
<Min27> And I do not reproach this against her.
<Min27> She is a little girl who had to grow up in some days. She adapted. She chose every
mean that was there to survive. And she did.
<Min27> She killed because she had to, but she also saved lives as courageously as she took
them.
<Min27> She hardened, but she never lost her empathy.
<Min27> Arya Stark is strong and clever. She has courage and stamina. She is a survivor.
<Min27> Done.
<Claidhaim> GA Jeff
<guest-Jeff> I've been waiting for this . . . First, a good general only fights battles of his own
choosing. Since I like Arya, I won't _really_ attack her.
<Min27> As I did with Dany...
<guest-Jeff> But I will point out the similarities as they go to the very heart of this duel.
<guest-Jeff> Min, butt out. My time
<Min27> yes, like you and the whiny women.
<guest-Jeff> There are of course the obvious ones -- like having a horseface and acting 9 years
old.
<guest-Jeff> But I infer that the "long face" includes a long nose. Just like Min's own long,
blackhead-encrusted nose that she stuck into something that was not her business to start this duel.
<guest-Jeff> This duel started when I attacked Ser Gary for being a coward, for rereading before
posting.
<guest-Jeff> Min leapt to his defense, asserting he was not a coward. I called her a wench for
throwing herself at a man that did not deserve defense.
<guest-Jeff> So I ask ... Where is Ser Gary??? What kind of "knight" allows a "Lady" to stand in
for him and defend his honor?
<Min27> kicked out again, sorry. my computer seems to be allergic against the commoners
stupidities...
<guest-Jeff> And what kind of "lady" would throw herself at such a man?
<Min27> Commoner, as you seem to be unable to read, I will get this clear again:
<Min27> I do not stand here for the honour of Ser Gary, but for mine only.
<Min27> I challenged you for the insult you threw against me, not for anything you said to him.
That is none of my business.
<Min27> And I pointed that out on the board several times...
<Min27> but go ahead.
<guest-Jeff> Surely, he is no knight at all. My dictionary defined "wench" as a "woman of easy
virtue". Well, by throwing herself at Ser Gary, by uttering all the sickening "my lords" that she has
plastered all over the board when he posts, she has thrown herself at a man who is no knight. A
man who hides behind a woman to defend his honor. And that, my friends, is what makes Min a
wench.
<guest-Jeff> I stand unbowed
<Claidhaim> the end?
<guest-Jeff> Your honor, I conclude
<Min27> That was very eloquent concerning Arya
<Min27> Your Honour, so do I.
<guest-Jeff> Well, she did have a big nose.
<guest-Emily> Well - my lord Judge? Who is the victor? (As if it isn't obvious!)
<Min27> Oh, I missed that, as I was kicked out...
<Claidhaim> Let me look at the different characters.....
<guest-Emily> I was asking Claidhaim to judge the contest
<Min27> I will bow to your decision, Your Honour.
<Claidhaim> Damn, the thing cleared old text. I hope I saved it.
<guest-Jeff> I bow to no-one. I scored my points, that's enough for me. Win if you can, lose if
you must, but always cheat!
<Claidhaim> Ahhh, I did:)
<Claidhaim> the topic of Theon goes to Min for her eloquent defense.
<guest-Jeff> I particularly liked the comment about a "blackhead-encrusted nose".
<guest-Emily> Yeesssssssssss!
<Min27> ***curtseying***
<guest-Jeff> I would hope _brevity_ is worth something.
<Min27> oh, it sure is.
<Claidhaim> I think Jeff really got to the heart of Ned. He was blinded by his honor, truly. Jeff
gets a point.
<guest-Jeff> ***belching***
<guest-Emily> Huh.
<Min27> I thought that. *curtseying again.
<guest-Jeff> ***picking nose***
<Min27> Did I add "no manners" to my description of the Commoner"
<Min27> if not, I will fill in that gap.
<Claidhaim> As for Cercie, the point that Min makes about her strength is true, but her orders to
murder the bastards of Robert was truly indefensible, Jeff again.
<guest-Jeff> ***My conduct is appropriate to the company I share(Judge Claidhaim excluded, of
course).
<guest-Emily> Sycophant.
<guest-Jeff> Lesbian.
<guest-Emily> I BEG your pardon?
<Claidhaim> Catelyn has to go to Min due to her picking apart of her character quite fully.
<guest-Jeff> Hey, I'm on a role.
<guest-Emily> So there.
<Min27> well, my squire, he implied that already earlier...
<Min27> *bowing head*
<guest-Emily> ...but he just had to spell it out, didn't he?
<Min27> 2:2
<guest-Jeff> I'm basing this solely upon Emily's own most recent posts. Not that there's
anything wrong with that....
<Min27> Emily: He is not the one to write between the lines, no.
<Claidhaim> Danaerys did go without covering one breast and I can overlook her age in
GRRM's world, so Jeff gets the win.
<guest-Emily> WHAT?
<Claidhaim> Yes, you read correctly, Min didn't really cut into Dany, she cut into Jeff.
<Min27> well...
<guest-Jeff> Uh, Min, perhaps you should read the posts. Emily formed the Women's
Democratic Lesbian Socialist Collective.
<guest-Emily> But alas Min didn't join...
<guest-Jeff> Uh, I've gotta go change a diaper.
<Claidhaim> As for Arya, the final verdict goes hands down to Min. I really thought she showed
the strength inside the character and Jeff was unwilling to argue her many points.
<guest-Jeff> Not, mine, Min, my daughters.
<Min27> I will bow to Your Honor�s decision, though in this last point, I do not really understand
it.
<Min27> That means pari?
<Claidhaim> Let me go back and read.
<guest-Jeff> I thought my insults about the causes of the duel were really quite good.
<guest-Emily> That means we can't hack Jeff to pieces?
<guest-Emily> You were the only one to think so.
<Min27> Oh, I see: You gave The Commoner the Dany-point to get us equal? ;-)))
<Claidhaim> Not....
<guest-Jeff> You may recall I reserved the right to include comments about the causes of the
duel when we agreed on the format. A great sneak attack!!
<guest-Jeff> Look, I was far more crude, rude, and insulting. That has to count for something.
<Min27> We agreed that you may judge whatever and whomever the way you wanted. Which is
Ok with me. So go ahead, Your Highness. :-)))
<guest-Jeff> ARRGGG!! Poopy diaper. Oh well, the duties of being a daddy...
<guest-Emily> A likely story.
<Claidhaim> Therefore, the duel is quite the tie, so to speak.
<Claidhaim> However, I must say that Jeff's early jabs were his best.
<Min27> To bad - dismembering The Commoner would have been fun.
<guest-Jeff> Hmmm. Well, I suppose that's okay. My quarrel was never with Min anyway.
<guest-Jeff> Hmmm. Well, I suppose that's okay. My quarrel was never with Min anyway.
<guest-Emily> Could have fooled me.
<guest-Jeff> Yeah, I tried to shorten things as we went on because it was really taking a long
time.
<Claidhaim> Min was much better a the characters.
<Min27> hey, so did I.
<Min27> That was fun, though.
<Claidhaim> And her typing was quicker.
<Min27> true.
<guest-Jeff> Agreed. I hope no hard feelings??
<Min27> Sure not, Jeff. We agreed this was for fun.
<Claidhaim> Okay, I think I should put this together and post it in the "Other Topics" thread
<guest-Emily> Well...if it's all over I'd better let my friends have their computer back....farewell, my
Lady. Farebadly, scumvermin - you live, but if the gods are just, not for much longer.
<Min27> I like Dany, to be honest. And Ned, too.
<guest-Jeff> Arya's one of my favorites. And I do like Catelyn, though.
<Min27> Fare thee well, my worthy squire. I am most honoured by your service.
<Claidhaim> By the way. Jeff, do you have any comments towards Ser Gary?
<guest-Jeff> Dany is maybe my favorite, though. For all the reasons I disavowed.
<Min27> I hope for other reasons than the bared breast in truth....
<Claidhaim> I didn't even remember the bare breast.
<guest-Jeff> Seen one breast, seen 'em all. I just kind of liked defending for a laugh.
<Min27> Hey, Nenz, you could join in now... :-)
<Min27> yes, and you got it.
<guest-Jeff> Really, I gotta go. Family in town. Bye till later, friends.
<Claidhaim> Later Jeff.
<Claidhaim> Nenz?
<Min27> Seeya, Jeff. It was nice to hit you.
<Claidhaim> I didn't think that would take so long.
<Claidhaim> It was fun though
<Min27> Claidhaim: Thank you for judging. I think you did a pretty good job.
<Claidhaim> I tried, anyway
<Min27> Without you, I think we would have gotten out of order a bit.
<Min27> Can you save a transcript?
<Claidhaim> I think so too.
<Claidhaim> I've got most of it in two files, now I have to cut and paste to make one and post it
on the board
<Min27> I saved parts, but whenever I was kicked of, I lost some things...
<Claidhaim> I've got all of it from the time I entered.
<Min27> Oh, good. We should put in advance that this was for fun, not seriously. Otherwise,
people who didn't follow the Potpourri could feel annoyed


And there you have it. A tied duel. There will be no criticism of the judging allowed.
Min
User ID: 9433023
May 29th 12:37 PM
Claid: And do you think there will be none? You gave him a point for the bared breast after all! ;-))))
Min
User ID: 9433023
May 29th 12:41 PM

And I feel I have to thank Judge Claidham not only for putting the transcript up, but also for keeping such a firm hand on things. Good job, Claid.

And, of course, my worthy and noble squire: Emily! What would I have done without you hitting Jeff with the flagpole from time to time... Thank you!

And, as hard as it is to admid: Even Jeff. He was really insulting. Good for some laughs. Good sport, Jeff.

And Nenz and Ran for visiting.
faithless dirjj
User ID: 0094674
May 31st 10:32 PM
I am here!!!!, hey, where did everybody go? Oh, hey, there are my two guards that were missing. They were hiding in wait to ambush Emily and Min, but gee, looks like someone got to them first. Oh well. Heeeeellllllooooo. Is there anyone here. Oh well. I guess I'll go back to the palace.

ab
Jeff
User ID: 8506593
Jun 2nd 9:41 AM
Actually, my favorite part of the duel was Claidhaim's ruling giving me the point for the Dany presentation. I thought my argument was moderately funny, but Claidhaim's acceptance of it was hilarious.
KAH
User ID: 9209903
Jun 2nd 10:04 AM
Had I been Min, I could never have resisted the obvious cheap shot of Jeff and poopy diapers...

Anyway, as insults go, Jeff started out purty good with the 'pimp' remarks, but from there on it kinda went downhill...

But then, it was agreed that you should restrain yourself a little. I guess it was a good thing, all said and done.
haaruk Jun 14th 10:19 AM
Fascinating. Do it again sometime and use real bullets.
Min
User ID: 9433023
Jun 14th 5:30 PM
Again? It was hard enough to come together from all over the world _once_...
and, actually, and please forget this immediately after I said it... I actually _like_ the bastard.

**looking around**
"what? Liking? Me? Whom?"
Relic
User ID: 9328513
Jan 11th 2:49 AM
Ha! =)
Jeff
User ID: 1536664
Jan 11th 9:28 AM
Wow. Somebody posted on this long-dead topic. The thing that was so frustrating for me was that I was at my home computer where certain keys don't work unless I pound them. Took forever to type.
Dirjj
User ID: 6960173
Jan 11th 3:03 PM
Hey I'd walk in here and add my 2 cents in, but since I abdicated several months ago, I'm not around.

ab
Jeff
User ID: 1536664
Jan 12th 2:35 PM
What 2 cents, Dirjj? You were supposed to be my loyal second but never showed. The only excuse I would have accepted would have been a pressing engagement with a person of the opposite sex, in which case I would have wished you luck, but IIRC, your excuse was lame.

Despite that, though, my triumph was evident.
Dirjj
User ID: 6960173
Jan 12th 2:43 PM
He he, well, would resting up before a batchelor party count? After all, the Duel was at 5 a.m my time. Be glad that someone volunteered to be your second. As I recall, you called in the Banners, and no one showed up.

Besides, where were you as my second when Civil War broke out across my Empire? Proconsul indeed!

Whoops, I'm not here, I abdicated.

ab
Min
User ID: 7907793
Jan 12th 3:35 PM
Your triumph was WHAT exactly? If I recall correctly, it was even - I mean, go ahead and READ, it is all written above... and the one point that made it even was because Claidham had all undue understanding for your depiction of Dany's bared breast, so... HA!