I CRIED FOR A LITTLE BOY
WHO ONCE LIVED THERE ©

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The Day Which Changed The Course Of My Life Forever.

RAINBOW
    On the morning of the Twenty Seventh day of July I was very depressed because I felt I had lost the love of my cottage father but thoughts of running away had not yet entered my mind.
    Since I was not going to paint with my cottage father I was told I would have to go with several other boys to detassel corn.  I hadn't been too happy about going but doing as I was told to do I went with them.
    Us boys were taken about two miles south of Tama, Iowa, about four miles from the juvenile home, to detassel corn.  I had been selected to be the water boy.  I was to meet all of the other boys at each end of the field as they came out of the corn to give them a drink of water.
    That morning until noon I carried a pail of water and a dipper meeting the boys as I was suppose to.  As they came out of the corn I would give each of them a drink.  Once I had met all of the boys I would refill the pail with water then meet the boys at the other end of the field.
    At noon we had all gone to a cleared area in a field near the road and had eaten our sack lunch.  As we had sat there eating the superintendent had stopped by to see how we were doing.  He had parked his car in the clearing about twenty or thirty feet from us.
    Cars were a mystery to me.  I had ridden in some from time to time but I knew very little about them other than what had I seen when they took me to the hospital in Iowa City or brought me back from escape.  I knew nothing about driving, how to start a car, shift gears or to drive it down the road other than seeing how others drove them and I hadn't been paying much attention then.  So when the superintendent had parked his car in the clearing, I like most of the other boys had walked over to the car to see the insides of it.
    The superintendent had walked over to talk to our supervisors who were standing several feet from the car as I walked over to the car and looked inside.  I don't know if any of the other boys had noticed but the first thing I had noticed were that the keys were still in the ignition.  I hadn't been looking for them I had only casually looked in the car and had noticed them.  When I had spotted the keys I hadn't said anything to the other boys but a thought had entered my mind, "If only I could get this car I could go so far away up into Canada then they would never be able to bring me back."
    I didn't know anything about gas, I didn't even know a car needed gas so I didn't check the gas gauge to see how much gas was in the car.
    I knew they didn't like it when I ran away but I didn't realize taking the car was wrong not in the sense of stealing it, it had never entered my mind.  I knew running away was going to make them real mad at me but taking the car didn't seem all that serious, only a minor detail compared to the trouble I was going to be in if I ran away and got caught again.
    I couldn't take the car while everyone was standing around so waiting until all had eaten I sat as far from the car as possible hoping the superintendent wouldn't leave with the car, hoping he would go with the supervisors when we went back to detasseling the corn.
    As I sat there waiting for the time to go back into the corn I was scared.  I was sure if anyone should look at me they would notice how scared I was and know I was planning on running away.
    I had been watching the superintendent talking to the supervisors.  For some reason he had turned away from us and he and one of the supervisors had started walking to the far end of the field.  I watched them slowly walking away from us with my heart in my mouth hoping they wouldn't come back before all of the boys had gone back into the corn.  By the time the remaining supervisor had told us it was time for us to go back to work the superintendent and the other supervisor had walked out of sight.
    After us boys had policed up the area and had thrown all of our trash in a bag, the supervisor and all of the boys had started off in the direction the superintendent had gone.  I was to go to the other end of the field with my pail of water.
    I had started in the direction I was suppose to go but I had stepped into the first row of corn not more than a hundred feet from the car.  I had stood there for about five minutes occasionally stepping out of the corn far enough without being seen looking in the direction the boys had taken.  As soon as everyone was out of sight I ran for the car.
    It was a maroon Chevrolet with a standard transmission.  I barely knew enough to get the car started let alone shift gears so I didn't know much about shifting gears.  I was afraid if I shifted gears while driving forward I might put it in reverse hurting myself and wrecking the car.  Some way I had found high gear before starting the engine, so holding the clutch in and after several tries managed to start the engine.
    When the superintendent had parked the car he had driven straight in and stopped. This put the gate in the fence to the road about a hundred feet or more directly behind the car.
    Revving the engine up and slipping the clutch I manage to get the car moving.  My start had been somewhat jerky at first but once the clutch was completely out I slowly made a wide left-hand circle in the clearing and headed for the gate to the road.  Without stopping I slowly rolled through the gate, turned north on the dirt road towards Tama.
    I was scared and tense and at first I was having difficulty keeping the car on the road.  Whenever I had rode in a car before I had noticed the driver moving the steering wheel back and forth so that is what I was doing but it had made me swing from one side of the road to the other.
    By the time I had traveled the two miles to Tama I was getting the hang of how to steer the car.  Thankfully when I came to the railroad tracks in town there wasn't a train nor were the gates down for I didn't know how to stop the car.  I had rolled across the tracks turned east at U.S. Highway 30 without stopping at the stop sign and drove out of Tama, Iowa.  By the time I had passed King Tower Truck Stop I was becoming calmer and had more confidence in my driving for I felt it was improving.
    A few miles east of Tama I came to Highway 212.  Knowing this was the road to Iowa City and the course I needed to follow to get to Davenport, Iowa, I had turned on 212 and headed southeast.
    Many months before, before I had been sent to my last cottage, while I was in school I had seen a book with a map of North America in it.  I had seen there was a highway going north out of Davenport and tracing it with my finger I found it went all of the way to Canada.  That was the road I wanted.
    I knew my way to Iowa City, Iowa very well and even though it had been three years since I had been that way I was sure I could find my way to Davenport.  I knew somewhere west of Iowa City I could pick up U.S. Highway 6 and that would take me right past the orphanage.
    A few miles down 212 I passed the spot where all of us boys were caught when we had ran away from White Hall about two and a half years before.  Still further down 212 I passed the spot where I had jumped from the car and had cut my head open on my way back to the orphanage.  That had been four and a half years before.  Bell Plaine, Iowa was just ahead.  That is where I had my head wound sutured shut and a bandage placed about my head.  That is where the railroad employee had shot at Bobby and I in the railroad yard on that cold snowy night almost two years before.
    There was a wide sweeping curve going into Bell Plaine and I had a great deal of difficulty navigating it for I had almost ran off of the road.  Coming out of the curve I could see the stop sign ahead where I would have to stop, turn right and cross the railroad tracks.  Bell Plaine was the first town I drove through after leaving Tama.  It was early afternoon and there seemed to me a lot of people about, they all seemed to be watching me as I came to the stop sign trying to get the car to stop.  I didn't understand why you had to stop at a stop sign but everyone I had ever rode with did.  I sure didn't want to draw attention to myself by driving through it without stopping.
    I had letup on the gas pedle and was allowing the car to slow down on it's own as much as possible.  But still I could see the car was going to go through the stop sign too fast for me to make a turn across the tracks.
    I was scared as I had put my foot on the brake peddle and pushed it down almost too hard for the car started jerking as it came up to the stop sign.  I was scared as I had released the brake and rolled through the stop sign, turned across the tracks and headed south out of town hoping no one noticed how poorly I was driving.
    As I had crossed the railroad tracks I had looked left, east into the railroad yard where I had been shot at.  It was sort of like a ritual, me looking into the railroad yard and thinking about that cold snowy night as I had ran through the railroad yard, shots being fired after me.  After Bobby and I had been shot at, I did it every time I crossed the tracks to and from Iowa City.
    I don't know how much gas there was in the car.  I didn't look at any of the gauges for I didn't know what any of them were for.  So I don't know how far I would have gotten before I would have ran out of gas.  Not all of the way to Canada but then I didn't realize that.
    After leaving Bell Plaine everything was going fine.  I felt a lot more comfortable about my driving out on the open highway.  I was no longer afraid for now I was beginning to feel I had made good my escape and was really on my way to Canada.
    I had been on the road for almost two hours and I wasn't paying any attention to any of the traffic on the road, the cars that passed me from the rear nor the ones going in the other direction.
    Up ahead a couple of miles was Marengo, Iowa.  I knew at the west edge of town I would swing south and pick up U.S. 6 and head east towards Iowa City skirting the southern edge of Marengo.  Off to my right and to my left the embankment along the highway was very steep.  The highway had been built up well above the adjoining terrain.  There were no junctions ahead, it was a straight shot into Marengo.
    I hadn't seen the state police car pass me going in the opposite direction.  Nor did I see him turn around and come up behind me, not until he turned on his red light and siren.  When I had heard the siren I was startled so much I had almost lost control of the car, running it off of the road and down the embankment.  I had thought I had gotten away free but all of a sudden I wasn't so sure.
    I didn't know what to do.  I didn't know if he was after me or just wanted to pass.  At first I acted as though I didn't see him and kept on going.  My mind was in a whirl, I was very confused as what to do.  I knew if I pulled over and he was after me he would take me back to the juvenile home.  But if I didn't stop and he wasn't after me I knew he sure would be then and start chasing me, if he wasn't already doing that.
    While I was trying to figure out what to do he tried to pass me.  As soon as I seen what he was trying to do I sped up and pulled over in front of him so he couldn't get in front of me and force me off of the road.  This trying to get around me only caused me to drive faster.  By the time we had gotten to the city limits of Marengo the car was at top speed, whatever that was.
    Highway 212 ran straight towards town, no curves or turnoffs along the way.  Right at the city limits there was a square corner.  I knew well in advance it was there for I had come this way many times on my way to Iowa City.
    With the police car hot on my tail I couldn't slow down to make the corner.  We had been traveling way too fast for that.  The way I saw it, the only choice I had was to go straight ahead through town.
    The street ahead was paved with brick. When I had hit the brick the car seemed to jump ahead as though in a added burst of speed.  Even though I was now in town I didn't letup on the foot feed but kept it all the way to the floor.  With the police car right behind me I didn't know what to do.  I was terrified someone would drive across an intersection in front of me and I wouldn't be able to stop.  Pedestrians?  It never entered my mind someone would walk out in front of a speeding car.
    As we had gone through Marengo the police car had slowed down and I was able to get several blocks ahead of him.  As scared as I was it was a good thing for me they didn't have time to put up a roadblock ahead of me for I would have crashed through it, probably killing myself at the speed I was going.  I was terrified but I would much rather of died in a car crash than be returned to the juvenile home.
    When I had gotten to the far side of town I notice about four or five blocks ahead of me the street came to a dead-end.  I slammed on the brakes at the very last intersection and spun the wheel hard to head south on Eastern Avenue.
    The car shot up over the curb narrowly missing a telephone pole.  The car had hit the curb so hard I had thought the front wheels were being torn from under it.  When I had finally brought the car to a stop I was sitting across Eastern Avenue with a stalled engine.  Looking back I could see the police car was about three or four blocks away and coming fast.  I quickly restarted the engine and starting off in high gear I was off again.
    As I sped up there was a terrible vibration in the front end, I must have bent both front wheels as I had gone up over the curb.  But as the car had picked up speed the vibration had disappeared.
    Up ahead I could see a stop sign at U.S. 6 skirting the south side of Marengo.  On the other side of the highway was a dirt road that had been freshly graded.
    As I approached the highway I could see a simi-truck off to my right coming down the highway and to my left another one both approaching the intersection I would have to go through.  I didn't know whether or not I could make it through the intersection before the trucks got there but they looked like they would make the intersection at about the same time.  I didn't give it much thought as to whether or not those trucks would crash into me for my biggest fear was right behind me, now almost on my rear bumper.
    It had been over a half mile from where I had jumped the curb to the highway.  I had held the throttle wide open all of the way so the car had plenty of time to come back up to top speed as I approached the highway.
    I don't know how fast I was going but they had told me later I was doing well over seventy as I had crossed the highway.  Even if I had known what a speedometer was I would have been too scared to have glance down at it.  The only thing that was on my mind was the two trucks up ahead approaching the intersection and above all the police car directly behind me.  But I had noticed as I approached the intersection the police car was dropping slightly behind.
    The highway was slightly higher than the street and this gave the street sort of a ramp effect as it joined the highway.  I was traveling so fast when I came to the highway the car left the ground, flying over the intersection and landing on the dirt road, straddling a row of freshly graded gravel that ran down the center of the road.
    As I had flown through the intersection the trucks looked as though they had been on top of me.  I learned later they both had slammed on their brakes and had narrowly missed me by passing slightly behind me.
    Landing on top of the row of gravel caused me to lose control of the car.  I lost track of everything except I was being thrown around in the car and that the car was out of control.  Before I could get the car back under control it swerved and rolled into the ditch on the right hand side of the road throwing me out the door on the passenger side of the car.
    I remember the door opening and being thrown clear of the car.  I had a sense of laying in some weeds with the sun shining in my face, somewhere there was an engine running.  I could hear people talking but I couldn't see them, they had seemed to have been talking to each other but they seemed to have been a long ways off.  I could hear someone say I was covered with a lot of blood.  Someone asked if I was dead.
    Laying there I wondered if I was dead, if this was the way it felt.  I wasn't scared, I was relaxed and didn't feel any pain.  It seemed so peaceful laying there in the weeds all I wanted them to do was to go away and leave me be.
    I remember thinking moments before the engine stopped and everything went dark, "I made it, they won't be able to take me back now."  Thinking I had been killed.  In some strange way I felt some sort of satisfaction, sort of a wholeness as though I was finally happy as I passed out.
    When I had regained consciousness it was sort of gradually, as though I was fighting with all of my will.  I didn't want to come back.  I heard the voice of a nurse, "It's a shame he is such a young boy."  Someone made a remark how nice of a looking boy I was, how well developed my body was and how wide my shoulders were.  They had sounded as though they were talking about someone that had died and I didn't want to come back.
    Then the awareness of the pain.  My head hurt and I could feel pain in my arms and chest.  As I became more and more aware of myself and my surroundings I resisted even more to keep from waking up.  I didn't want to open my eyes.
    When my eyes finally did open I seen the doctor standing there looking down at me.  I could tell I was laying nude on a table in a room that looked like an operating room.   When the doctor seen my eyes were open he asked me something.  He had to repeat his question several times before I could understand.
    As my head cleared I realized what he wanted to know was how I felt.  I told him my head hurt and as I spoke I raised my hand to my head to show him where, that is when I had noticed the bandage around my head.
    The doctor told me I had taken a hard hit on the back of my head which had cut my head open.  I also had a gash in my right side which he had to suture closed and two cracked ribs.  He had said it had been a wonder I hadn't been killed in the wreck and I was a very lucky boy to be alive.
    That I wasn't so sure about, knowing what was in store for me when I got back to the juvenile home.  I had no doubts about my immediate future.  Knowing how I felt at that moment I would have just as soon have died in the wreck.  Oh how many times since then have I wished I could have died in that wreck?  It could have all ended there.
    The doctor helping me had me sit up on the table.  Then while the nurses helped me get dressed he went to the door and soon returned with a policeman.  I believe it was the same policeman who had been chasing me.
    I had been in a fairly confused state of mind as the nurses had helped me get dressed.  I know they had to do a substantial part in getting me dressed.  Once I was dressed the policeman and one of the nurses helped me off of the table and after steadying me for a few moments to regain my balance the policeman took me outside.
    I had still been fairly weak as he had helped me to a bench there in the park across the street from the hospital.  I was scared and he could see I was almost in tears as I sat down on the bench.  He, still standing in front of me asked if I would like to have some ice cream.  I told him I would and he went back across the street to a building next to the hospital.  It was an ice cream store with a carry out window.  There he bought me a hot fudge sundae.  I don't think he was worried about me running away not the way I was feeling.
    As I sat there eating the ice cream he asked me what my name was and if I had a driver's license.  I told him what my name was and that I didn't have a driver's license, thinking I was in a lot more trouble than I already was for driving without a license.  He asked me where I had learned to drive and I had replied I didn't know how.
    No one had asked me where I was from but I guess they knew that.  The alarm had gone out over the state patrol radio within a half hour after I had taken the car.  It had been the state police who had been chasing me.
    The sheriff from Toledo had come and picked me up for the return trip to the juvenile home.  He hadn't restrained me in any way for he could easily see I couldn't give him any problems.
    I had sat there quietly on the front seat of his patrol car thinking of what was ahead of me when I got back to the juvenile home.  Still the taking of the car didn't seem all that serious to me, if anything, by the time I had gotten back to the juvenile home I had forgotten about the car as though it was a minor detail.
    It had been unusual the sheriff taking me back but I didn't really give that much thought either.  My thoughts were more on what they were going to do to me for running away once I was back in the juvenile home.
    The sheriff had parked on the street on the north side of the infirmary.  We had gotten out, I had waited as he came around the car even though I knew where we were going but I wasn't in any hurry to get there.
    Once in the infirmary the nurse took the bandage off of my head so I could take a shower.  As I had taken off my shirt I noticed the shoulders and side of my shirt were bloody and I was wearing some sort of harness made out of canvas about my chest.  I hadn't noticed the harness when I had gotten dressed back at the hospital in Marengo.  The nurse had helped me get the harness off then removed the bandage from my side.
    Once I was completely undressed the nurse had left the room and I had gotten into the shower.  There hadn't been one word spoken between the nurse and I.
    I was still in the shower when the nurse had returned with a pair of pajamas and new dressings for my wounds.  I had thought it was strange when I had seen the pajamas but I hadn't said anything.
    The nurse had redressed my wounds and helped me get the harness back on then she told me to get my pajamas on.  I thought she was going to take me to Isolation but when we had left the shower room she had turned right in the hallway towards the boys' side of the hospital.  The other way would have taken us to the stairs going to the basement and Isolation.
    We entered one of the west rooms off of the hallway.  Pointing to the bed she had told me to get in bed.  Then she left leaving the door unlocked and open.
    I had gotten into bed and laid there thinking about all of the things that had happen since lunch.  In just five or six hours how my world seemed to have changed.  How they had brought me back, they had made no threats, no lectures and no whippings but of course the whippings always came later.  I wasn't put in Isolation and I felt very strongly something different was going to happen to me this time.
    As I laid there in the infirmary thinking about what I had done, I realized I was in a lot more trouble than I had ever been in before but still even then I didn't realize the act of taking the car was so serious.  It was the running away and then on top of that running from the highway patrol when they had tried to stop me.
    Running from the police is what I felt I was in so much more trouble about.  That was serious enough.  I realized the car compounded the problems somewhat but not as much as I was to find out.  Yes, I felt this was the most serious thing I had ever done.  I was scared and I felt very lonely and helpless.  That night I had cried myself to sleep.

RAINBOW
Please Make The world Go Away
MIDI By the courtesy of the MIDI Picking Harry Todd The best on the NET.

Chapter Twenty