I CRIED FOR A LITTLE BOY
WHO ONCE LIVED THERE ©
 

CHAPTER TWENTY

The Most Terrifying Day Of My Life.

RAINBOW
    The next morning I awoke with the fear of not knowing what was going to happen to me.  By now if I had a chance I would have ran away but with the front door locked and the windows so I couldn't go through them there was no way out for me.
    If I had been placed in Isolation I think I would have felt better there for that would have been something I knew about.  At least it wouldn't have been an unknown fear.  The way it was I knew something different was going to happen to me but I didn't know what.
    On the second day after my return the worst fear of my life came true.  The nurse had come into the room, giving me some clean clothes she had told me to get dressed.  This was unusual for I felt if anything I should be on my way to Isolation for two weeks, this time maybe even longer.
    The nurse had stayed in the room as I took my pajamas off then got into my clothes.  When I was about dressed two men came into the room and the nurse stepped back by the door.  I was sitting on my bed tying my shoe laces, trying to understand what was happening when one of the men came towards me holding out a pair of handcuffs, something that had never been used on me before.  I had always been fearful of having my hands tied so the sight of them sent fear straight into my heart.
    "What are they going to do to me?"  Was the frantic thought that was racing through my mind over and over again.
    I had put my hands behind my back, away from him.  I had gotten up and turned my back to the window where he couldn't get behind me and get the handcuffs on me.
    The man with the handcuffs said to me in a rough voice, "Put your hands out so we can get these cuffs on you for you're going to Eldora."
    The thoughts that flashed through my mind, "That is the Training School for Boys!" "The reform school!"  "The place where they had killed a boy by beating him to death!"  Not much more than three years before Mrs. Gruber my cottage mother back at the orphanage had showed me the pictures of the boy who had been so horribly beaten.
    Unknown to me but on the day after my return to the juvenile home Mr. Ladd had wrote a letter to the Board of Control in Des Moines, Iowa, requesting my immediate transfer to the Iowa Training School for Boys at Eldora, Iowa.
    He had wrote I had stolen a car and ran away, that I had an extensive runaway record, that the county would prosecute if the juvenile home didn't.  He had said in part, "Your prompt attention to this matter will aid us to keep this out of the newspapers."
    That letter had been written on July 28th.  It was on the morning of the July 29th they came to take me to the reform school.  The transfer was not approved in Des Moines until July 30th, the following day after I was taken to the reform school.
    The day he wrote the letter an article had appeared in the Toledo newspaper about me taking the car.  So why was he in such a hurry to get me out of the juvenile home and into the reform school? Why was he so worried what the county would do?  Was he worried about what I might say at a hearing?  Why did he transfer me before the transfer papers were even signed on the following day?  Why such a hurry?
    My heart had seemed to stop, my blood go cold and for a few moments I felt faint.  It didn't seem possible this was happening to me.  If they had told me they were taking me out to execute me it couldn't have effected me any worse, for to me that was what they were doing, they were taking me to the training school where I would be killed.  I couldn't understand for all I had done was run away.
    In all of my life I had never fought back an adult nor resisted in any way.  No matter how painful it had been for me I had always done as they had told me.
    At first I had backed against the window with my hands behind me and started crying and pleading with them not to take me to the training school but when they had tried to force the handcuffs on me I exploded.  I had sidestepped the men and tried for the door but found it blocked by the nurse who had quickly turned and pushed the door shut.  I turned back towards the men and I swung at the nearest man to me with all my 110 pounds would allow.  I had kicked one man and bit the other on the arm as he had put his arm around my neck to throw me down.  All of the time crying and screaming over and over again pleading with them not to take me to the training school.
    Even though I felt I was fighting for my very life I was still no match for either of them.  The men had screamed and cursed at me but I hadn't understood a word they had said.  The men had cursed and yelled at each other as they had struggled to pin me down.  The nurse seemed to be everywhere as though she wanted to help them but didn't know how.
    All of a sudden a blinding light flashed through my mind as one of the men had hit me on the side of the face and knocked me down across the bed.  There on the bed all three of them had been able to pin me down, get the handcuffs on my wrists and shackles on my legs.
    Even with the handcuffs on me and my ankles shackled I still struggled with them as they roughly dragged me from the room.  I had turned to the nurse and pleaded for her to help me but she had unfeelingly turned and walked down the hallway ahead of us.
    Though I had struggled all of the way to the car they manage to get me in the car where they made me sit on the front seat between them as they took me to Eldora.
    I had cried and pleaded most of the fifty to sixty miles to Eldora.  One of the men told me I had better not ever try and run away from the training school.  I knew if they ever got me there I would probably never get a chance to for they would probably kill me first.
    No matter how many times I had ran away.  No matter what I had done they shouldn't have sent me to the training school.  Even they didn't consider me a "Bad boy."  They had said I was cooperative in everything they had asked me to do and I was very friendly and had a pleasing personality.  It was just that I was a "Chronic runaway."  They should have known why I had ran away.  The reform school wasn't the answer.
    It is true I stole a car, that is why most of the boys were in the reform school.  That armed robbery and burglary.  But I felt there was a difference in what I had done and what they did.  What I had done was not meant to hurt anyone else.  I had tried to escape a desperate situation, a situation I felt would last the rest of my life.  I never seen myself or the adults ever growing older.  I seen myself always being there in that institution being hurt by those people.
    They only passed their problem onto others.  They had won and I had lost.  I guess that was important.  Or did anyone really win?

RAINBOW

Iowa Training School for Boys
at
Eldora, Iowa.
Admission Statistics

Name: LARRY EUGENE PETERSON                          Date admitted: July 29, 1948.

Date of birth: 5/13/34                  Age: 14 years 3˝ months.           Race: White

Height: 5' 7"      Weight: 110 #            Build: Medium.          

Color of eyes: Hazel           Color of hair: Light brown.            

Physical condition: Head and chest injuries.

Disposition: Upset and crying.  Boy says he is afraid.                                                    

Home: Orphan; Transferred from the State Juvenile Home, Toledo, Iowa.                   

Type and cause for admission: Committed; Chronic runaway.

Special precautions to be taken: HIGH ESCAPE RISK / Possibly Suicidal.                   

RAINBOW

    It was a long walk from where they had parked the car to the administration building.  Like the juvenile home in Toledo the administration building was a three story sandstone building but this one was twice the size as the one at the juvenile home.
    Even though I walked with my hands cuffed behind my back and shackles on my legs my arms were being held by both men who had brought me from the Toledo State Juvenile Home.
    If I could have ran away I would have for I didn't want to walk though the high arched doorway that loomed up ahead.  Once through those doors I felt I would never be coming back out.  Not alive anyway.
    One of the men reached out and opened one of the heavy wooden doors only to confirm my fears.  This was where all "Bad Boys" met their end.
    As at the juvenile home the ceiling of the hallway we entered was fifteen feet above our heads.  The hallway was dimly lit and was deathly quiet.  We turned left at the first door and went into the admitting office.  Facing us was a counter that ran most of the way across the room.  At the right hand end of the counter was a door that would allow people to pass to and from behind the counter.  They took me up to the counter and as I stood there they spoke to the woman behind the counter.  Telling her who I was and where I was from.
    They didn't have the official transfer papers transferring me from the juvenile home to the training school for they wouldn't be made out in Des Moines until the following day.  There had been some commotion about that but a couple of telephone calls had cleared that up.
    I had heard them tell her I was considered a "high escape risk."  She had replied to that, "No boy ever runs away from here twice."  Then looking at me she smiled and said, "I think Larry is going to adjust very nicely here."  I had shuddered for I had taken it as a warning, if not a threat.
    They had talked a few minutes more mostly about whether or not the training school could break me of running.  There seemed to have been some disagreement among them as to that.  Then the woman told the men to bring me around the counter.  Once we were behind the counter she led us through another door at the back of the room.  Once in the room she shut and locked the door.  Then turning to the men she told the men to take the handcuffs and shackles off of me.  When they took them off I didn't make any attempt to run.  There was another door but it was closed and I presumed it was also locked.  I felt I was in more trouble now than what I could handle, I didn't need to make it any worse than it already was by trying to make a break for it.  Anyway by now I had resigned myself to the fact I couldn't get away.
    In this room there was a desk where the woman sat down.  Along one wall there were two chairs where I was told to sit in one of them, the men sat in a couple of chairs near the desk.
    As they sat there talking and filling out some forms, trying as hard as I could I couldn't hold my emotions in.  It had been a struggle since I had left the car.  Oh God was I scared.  In all of my life I had never been so afraid.  I started crying and as hard as I tried, I couldn't stop crying it only got worse.
    I know now they couldn't have understood why I was crying and was so much afraid for they wouldn't have known what my cottage mother back at the orphanage had told me about the training school and how they had beaten a boy to death.  To them I was only a boy who was sorry he had done wrong and was upset because he was entering the training school.  To them it was only a matter of time and I would adjust like all of the other boys before me.  I knew though in time I would run, not knowing that was exactly why they had killed that boy three years before.
    It had been several minutes before the woman had gotten up and came over and sat down beside me putting her arm around my shoulders.  By now my crying had become very hysterical.  I was bent over with my face in my hands.  She had leaned forward as though to see my face better, "Larry.  Why are you crying so?"  She had asked me in a very concerned voice.
    Still crying I blurted out "Mam I'm scared.  I don't know what they are going to do to me and I don't want them to hurt me."  Not thinking of telling her why I was so afraid of the training school.  I thought everyone would know why I was so afraid of the training school, about the boy being killed and all.
    She had sat there with me for a few more minutes reassuring me everything would be all right.  As she had sat there talking to me I had slowly managed to get control of my crying but not my fear.  By the time she had gotten up my crying was subdued to quiet sobs.
    I had no idea where they were going to take me or what they were going to do to me when they got me there but I was expecting the very worse.  I had never thought any place could be worse than the juvenile home except this place.  As bad as the juvenile home had been I wanted to go back, I didn't want to stay here and be beaten like the boy in the pictures had been.  I had felt they were going to kill me and that there was no one there for me to turn to.
    Asking one of the men to take my arm she led us out the other door and down the hallway to another room.  In this room there had been equipment to take my picture and my fingerprints.  I had to stand with my back to a white screen as she took my picture then she took my fingerprints.  The crying started all over again.  I believed taking pictures and fingerprints was done only in large prisons thus confirming my fears I was in a very terrible place.
    Maybe it was because of the way I was acting, crying and all, she had both men escort me to the hospital for my physical.  There wasn't much chance of me trying to run away, by now I didn't even know which way the front of the institution was.  So I didn't fight them as they put the handcuffs back on me and led me out the door for the walk to the hospital.  Arriving at the hospital we had to wait until the door was unlocked.  Once inside the men removed the handcuffs then they left.
    Even though I had come from another institution I had to undress and take a bath.  The doctor had removed the harness I was wearing to protect my ribs and the dressings from my wounds.  After the bath and physical were over with the doctor put on new dressings and helped me get back into the harness.  The physical had been light more or less just a look me over then I was given a pair of pajamas and escorted to a room on the second floor of the hospital where I was locked in.
    After all of the exertion I had been through that day I wasn't feeling so good.  I had a splitting headache my ribs were hurting me and my jaw hurt every time I moved it.  A present from the man who had hit me back at the juvenile home when he had knocked me down across the bed.
    Even though it was in the middle of the afternoon, I laid down on the bed and cried myself to asleep, sleeping through the evening meal, not waking until the following morning.

RAINBOW
El Paso
MIDI By Unknown

Chapter Twenty-one