Entrance Page --- I sort of like that page, hope you have been there.
Home Page --- About who I am and the purpose of my pages. ---- Without reading this page I don't think you will fully understand all of the other pages.
SONGS --- Lyrics and song clips for the songs "I'm A Time Traveler" and "Run, Orphan Boy, Run" which I wrote and have been released October '97 in the album "America" by Hilltop Records.
Newspaper Articles --- 9 articles written about The Orphan Boy, from the age of 11 to 16. Additional 5 articles directly related to him. I think you will find these quite interesting.
Introduction --- Introduction to the book, "I Cried For A Little Boy Who Once Lived There." © Strongly recommended reading first before reading the chapters of the book.
INDEX to State Juvenile Records --- Which includes many official letters written about "The Orphan Boy." I think here you will find out what sort of a boy he was. They will also help you understand what you will later read in the chapters.
Chapter One --- On That Fateful Day, Where Were You Lord? --- We join the orphan boy shortly after his thirteenth birthday, in a dark and barren isolation cell, in a state juvenile institution. At a time in his life when death would have been a lot sweeter.
Chapter Two --- With All Love Gone. --- A reflection to the past, to a time when life was somewhat better. To a time when the boy was four years old before his father had died and he had to go to the orphanage. To a time when he was eight years old and had been adopted. Then at the age of nine, after his adopted mother had died, the return to the orphanage, to a time when he felt he had lost everything and essentially it all began.
Chapter Three ---Ten Years Old. Learning To Run. --- "That first time I "Ran" it had been sort of scary. Well I guess every time I had "Ran" it had been scary, it never did get any easier."
Chapter Four --- Fourth Of July And Beyond. --- That summer, after he had turned ten, had been the beginning of a long and at times, a terrifying journey.
Chapter Five --- Came A Day When The Orphan Boy Learned To Respect His Elders. --- Yes, shortly after he was 11 years old he learned a lot of things about life. Some things had hppened and he was never to be the same after that summer.
Chapter Six --- 11 Years Old. The Orphanage. The Last Weeks. --- "I guess I really got a lot of people upset this time, a little bit angry at me too. I couldn't understand why, for all I had done was run away, well I guess, at that time I had talked too much to the police when they had picked me up. As Mr. Daines had said, "Lying about your treatment at the orphanage."
Chapter Seven --- The Orphanage. The Last Days. --- From the frying pan right into the fire. Yes, it had been a mistake to have complained to the police, but still, fifteen days later after he was brought back from running away, he went out the window and climbed down from the third floor room they had locked him in and ran away again.
Chapter Eight --- The State Juvenile Home. First Months --- If Hell has a home on earth, at that time it had to be in that institution.
Chapter Nine ---- 11 years old. "After that horrifying night, my only recourse was to run."
Chapter Ten --- "You are an orphan boy and the lowest thing on this earth is an orphan boy. Nobody wants an orphan." She had said with a twisted and angry face, taking the last shred of belief from the boy, there was someone on this earth who loved and wanted me.
Chapter Eleven --- If life wasn't bad enough, it just got worse. Much worse.
Chapter Twelve --- 12 Years Old. "That was the way it always was when I got punished, they were right and I was wrong. There was no discussing it, before or afterwards."
Chapter Thirteen --- 12 years old. "I had heard the first "Pop." I didn't know what it was and I had kept running. There had been a second "Pop" and I still didn't realize what it was. Then there had been the third "Pop," as I ran around the end of a boxcar. I saw sparks fly off of the boxcar coupling, only inches from my right arm. It wasn't until then I realized he was shooting at me. It was a shock to me, he was trying to kill me and I couldn't understand why, I was twelve years old and only a runaway."
Chapter Fourteen --- 13 Years Old. "It was well after dark when Bobby and I huddled together at the far end of the boxcar and went to sleep. As I went to sleep I remember how good it felt to have my friend there laying close to me. Bobby was my best friend, my very best."
Chapter Fifteen --- "Why Daddy, Why? If you didn't want me, I'd have gone away." Oh, I screamed at my adopted father as the police dragged me away."
Chapter Sixteen --- "On that night, I begged, oh did I cry, for I knew if they took me back they would kill me. I wasn't too wrong about that either."
Chapter Seventeen --- "During those days I laid there in the isolation cell, I cried for I wanted to die but I didn't know how."
Chapter Eighteen --- I FOUND LOVE AND THEN LOST IT. "It had now been over eleven months since I had last ran away. Little did I know at the time I had talked to Mary in the attic, that day was to start a chain of events that would change the course of my life forever. The terror of my life was just before me."
Chapter Nineteen --- 14 Years Old. A DAY WHICH WOULD CHANGE THE COURSE OF MY LIFE FOREVER. "I remember, as I laid there by the wreck, thinking moments before everything went dark, "I made it, they won't be able to take me back now." Thinking I had been killed. In some strange way I felt some sort of satisfaction, sort of a wholeness as though I was finally happy as I passed out."
Chapter Twenty --- THE MOST TERRIFYING DAY OF MY LIFE. "All of a sudden a blinding light flashed through my mind as one of the men had hit me on the side of the face and knocked me down across the bed. There on the bed all three of them had been able to pin me down, get the handcuffs on my wrists and shackles on my legs."
Chapter Twenty-One --- THE REFORM SCHOOL. THE FIRST TERRIFYING WEEKS. "Here I was, standing at the doors of the place where they killed boys. To say I was scared is an understatement, I was terrified. It seemed I couldn't shake the fear from my body. I knew they could do anything they wanted to do to me and there would be no one on the other side of those doors who would protect me."
Chapter Twenty-Two --- IN A WORLD OF FEAR I FOUND LOVE. "Though I was very frightened of the training school, I guess the real reason I was never to run away was Mr. Parker. It was only a matter of a few short days and I fell completely in love with him. It came to be, my whole world would revolve around him. I loved him? I think I worshiped him for he seemed to have been the one person I had been looking for all of my life. I loved him more than if he had been my own father."
Chapter Twenty-Three --- THE REFORM SCHOOL. THE LAST MONTHS. "I didn't care too much for Bingo, though I did cry when he was killed out on the highway. I had to go out and pick him up, then carry him to a pasture south of the institution. There after a tearful prayer I had buried him on the bank of a creek."
Chapter Twenty-Four --- 15 Years Old. HOME AFTER NINE LONG YEARS.
Chapter Twenty-Five --- I STARTED TO GET THE FEELING, I WASN'T WANTED AT HOME. "Sitting under the tree I thought, "I wish I was back at the training school, at least there Mr. Parker liked me." Running away never entered my mind, maybe if it had I would have ran away and gone back to the training school. I felt like crying as I laid down under the tree, burying my face in my arms."
Chapter Twenty-Six...THAT AIRPLANE. IT WAS TO PROVE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY YOUNG LIFE. "I wanted to get the airplane up and back without anyone knowing I had done it. I wasn't trying to steal the plane, only fly it for a while and then bring it back."
Chapter Twenty-Seven...THE TRAINING SCHOOL, SECOND TIME AROUND. "When they had brought me back from running away, I had to stay in Isolation for two weeks. During those two weeks, on three different occasions, in the middle of the night a man had come into my cell. By the last time, when I heard my door open in the middle of the night, I knew it would be him and what he wanted."
Chapter Twenty-Eight...A DAY, AN EVENT AND A PROMISE. "I had stood there by her casket, tears streaming down my face. Nothing in all of my life has hurt me so badly as that day I looked down into my sister's casket. As I stood there by her side I had promised her, "Someday, I will have a daughter and I will name her after you." A day, an event and a promise that was to eventually guide me through the gardens of torments, to the very gates of Hell."
Chapter Twenty-Nine...16 YEARS OLD. "I had ran away and what that man did to me that night in Yuma, Arizona, I guess I will never forget."
Chapter Thirty...THERE WASN'T ANY QUESTION IN MY MIND, I WASN'T WANTED AT HOME. "I no longer felt homesick for to me I had found there was no home for me to feel homesick about."
Chapter Thirty-One...IT WASN'T A CHANGE OF SCENERY I NEEDED. BY NOW, I NEEDED A GOOD PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION. "When they had gotten me up out of the land fill and placed me in the back of another police car for the trip to the hospital, I had looked around and seen police cars everywhere. It looked like all of the police cars in Denver were there with their red lights flashing."
Chapter Thirty-Two...THE COLORADO REFORM SCHOOL FOR BOYS. "That, the high fence topped with barbed-wire, the gun-towers, the rifles the guards carried in plain view, all of it convinced me I didn't want to run away from there. Even the training school back in Iowa didn't look as bad as the one in Colorado did and the Iowa training school was bad enough."
Chapter Thirty-Three...I NEEDED HELP MORE THAN AT ANY TIME BEFORE, BUT THERE WASN'T ANYONE THERE FOR ME. "Some way I knew my stepfather didn't mean what he had said to me but was only harassing me. But it had hurt for I had thought he was starting to treat me as a man."
Chapter Thirty-Four...WORST PLACE I COULD HAVE WORKED, WAS AT THAT AIRPORT. "I wanted to fly an airplane in the worst way and I didn't know of any way I could do it but to steal one."
Chapter Thirty-Five...THE FEDERAL CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION FOR BOYS. "For the first few days, more than a week, I would wake up at night thinking I heard my door being unlocked and the guard would be coming into my cell. I was scared. I was in a new institution I knew nothing about. I had no one to turn to, to answer my many questions. As always I was fearing the worst."
Chapter Thirty-Six...BROTHERS UNITED AFTER ELEVEN LONG YEARS. "I wanted to talk with him but I quickly found we no longer had anything in common."
Chapter Thirty-Seven...THE FEDERAL REFORM SCHOOL FOR BOYS. "What the guards told me made me feel all of the other places I had been in were only primers for this place."
Chapter Thirty-Eight... FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I WAS OUT ON MY OWN. "It had been so bad at times I couldn't lay down. As soon as I would lay down, the thinking would start, the dreams, the visions of the past, never of the future. It was always the same. It was always about that little boy, a little boy who was all alone. It was as though I was all he had and I couldn't turn away, I had to think of him. Yes, I even cried for that little boy who once lived there. I cried a lot."
THE TERROR WHICH DWELLED WITHIN ME. "It had been a very painful and emotional time in my life. Inside of me, my emotional system was violently shaking. Suicide never entered my mind but now as I look back on that period of my life I can see how close to it I really was. All that was missing was the thought for then I would have taken my own life."
INDEX TO THE COMMENTARY
To all which has been read and some more.
If you wish send all comments to; email@example.com
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