Star Bores
Oatmeal Streetwalker was insane and everyone knew it. In
and out of asylums on the backwater planet of Nottooclean,
escaping whenever he had the chance, Oatmeal yearned for
adventures out among the stars�adventures that would take
him beyond the farthest reaches of Hollywood stripper bars and
into the private nightclubs of the rich and famous. In his wildest
dreams, he imagined leading the life of a respected garbage
collector on the Old Confederacy world of Boreduhron.
But Oatmeal got more than he bargained for when he
intercepted a box of Kleenex embedded in an animated garbage
can. The Kleenex contained a cryptic message from Heiya
Ghodzilla, a beautiful Washroom Attendant being held captive
by Dark Crater, Dark Lord of the Lithp, a dark and powerful
warlord who was also very dark. Oatmeal realized instantly
that he would have to rescue Ghodzilla, otherwise the plot of
the story would not be long enough to support a novel, a film,
and a plethora of other merchandising opportunities.
Armed only with a flashlight�a memento of his father�s
service as a Dedi Fright�Oatmeal accompanied a scary old
clown and a ragtag band of misfits into the most savage battle
for freedom ever faced by an asylum inmate. He would have to
learn the bureaucratic and mysterious ways of the Farce to do
battle with the ultimate weapon�a happy face the size of a
planet. Oatmeal vowed that he would save the galaxy, or he
would die laughing.
(click on the cover to read an excerpt)