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| Advice to the Mistresses | "My will is all........" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
As a Mistress in The Amazon You are responsible for the training and protection of the slaves. Taking one for Your own and turning them into Your submissive means different things to different people but is always an important step in the relationship. So, make Your choice with care Sisters for the hearts and minds of the lil ones are in Our hands.
There are as many ways to do D/S as there are people, so You really need to know what your slave/submissive wants, doesn't want, is comfortable with, is afraid of, and so forth. A lot of slave/submissive will have great trouble telling You what they want. For some of them, this is because they don't really know what they want. Or, perhaps, they know how they want to feel, but they aren't sure what it is that will make them feel that way. Other slave/submissive do have at least some idea of what they want, but they're too embarrassed to be able to tell You directly. Some slave/submissive know what they want but feel as if it spoils things if they have to ask for it, they want the impetus for the scene to come from You, and if they ask for something, then it's as if they're controlling the scene, when what they want is for You to control it. And of course, more than one of these can occur at once. A person can know only what it is they want to feel and be too embarrassed to talk about it. They as if it gives them too much control over things if they tell You. There are a couple of ways around these problems, but they all take a bit of work on the Dommes's part. For the slave/submissive who isn't all that sure what they want, You get them to describe how they wish to feel. You ask them what things in their past have gotten them to feel this way, even if it's only a small and mild version of what they really want. You also use Your knowledge of Your slave/submissive to guess at what You suspect would make them feel what they want. You get them to tell you what they fantasize about. Experiment! A scene doesn't have to last for hours. In the early stages, when You're just figuring out what works for both of Y/you, You can try something for five minutes, but just because the scene is short doesn't mean that you take it less seriously. You have to make these mini-scenes as real as Your usual ones, or they won't work as a testing ground. Put Y/your all into them, just keep them short. These mini-scenes let you try out things in the knowledge for both of Y/you that if you hate it, it only lasts for a short time, this takes some of the pressure off. For the slave/submissive who has at least some knowledge of what they want but who is too embarrassed to tell You what it is, there are a couple of routes to go. You can ask them to write it down and give it to You, since a lot of people can write things that they cannot say. You can also try Dominating it out of them, try winding your hand in Your slave/submissive hair, pulling their head into a position that lets you stare into their eyes, and demanding that they tell You what You want to know right now. Or, You can threaten some sort of physical punishment unless they divulges the information. The punishment isn't really intended to be a motivator, it's intended to be a way for the slave/submissive to save face with themselves. They can tell themselves that it's not greedy or forward or too bold or whatever to tell You what you want to know because You're making them tell You. Sometimes just letting them tell You in the dark, when Y/you're snuggled up with Your arms around them will be enough. the sub who doesn't want to tell You anything because they think that means that they are controlling the scene or that they are forcing You into something You don't really want tends to be a somewhat harder case, this is called "the bottom topping the top". There are a few things You can try to make this situation less controlling for the slave/submissive. You can tell them that you aren't promising to do any of the things that they ask for, You're just asking because as the Domme, You have the right to ask anything You please and to get an answer. "Since you are My property, the contents of your mind are also My property, and you will give them to Me when I ask" is something I tell My submissive. You can tell them that You want the information for Your own selfish pleasure, "Making you be submissive in a way that's good for you is likely to be more fun for Me than making you be submissive in a way that's bad for you, because the second way makes Me work harder for less return. So give Me what I need to know to get what I want." Some slave/submissive think that no one really wants to Dominate them, that You're just humoring them, and leaving You to Your own devices is sort of a test. It's as if they're saying, "If You really want this, You'll figure it out on your own." Take control right away and demand Your submissive tell You what You want to know. The worse punishment You can give a slave/sub is to ignore them.
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I feel that there is a difference between a slave and a submissive, this is based on My own experience. A slave needs to be forced into submission, they are submissives in training. A submissive gives willingly of themselves, a selfless act of pure devotion. Only a truly Great Mistress owns a submissive for She has taken the time to either wait for one to drop into Her lap or She has worked long and hard to create a treasured submissive from a slave.
Once You start getting information out of the submissive/slave, there are other things You need to know. You know they are interested in D/S, but what kind? 
Do they want to be treated as a valuable submissive/slave, or do they crave humiliation?
Do they go for lots of symbols, like carrying Your crop in their teeth or washing your feet with their tongues? These situations turn them into objects or tools.
Are there things that they like to be made to say? Some subs like being made to say things like "I am yours, Mistress" or "Please use me for your pleasure, Mame," whereas others find this sort of thing too flowery and prefer sharper exchanges and still others get nonverbal when in scene and find speech annoying.
Some submissives like being called names by their Dominants, some like hearing that they are Your submissives/slave or that they are owned. Some like being told about the various unspeakable things that are about to happen to them, or hearing an explicit list of rules and expectations, others like hearing that their Dominant enjoys what She is doing. There's a really long list of different things that turn different people on, and I can't cover it all.
Getting a feel for what sort of thing underlies your submissive's submissive desires will help You get a feel for what sorts of things they like to hear. The above point leads in to what is the subtlest sort of distinction to make but the one that will be the most useful. Once You've gotten the answers to the above sorts of questions, You might be able to abstract some sort of general theme that guides Your submissive's/slaves desires and fantasy life.
Some submissives/slaves have the "I'm worthless, and i deserve to be punished" mind set, some have a "i don't want to have to take any responsibility, so i want you to control everything" mind set, some have a "i want to be so desirable that You have to take complete control of me" mind set or the "i want U/us to blend into O/one person" mind set or the "i want to prove i love You by doing difficult things" mind set or any number of others. Once You've talked and played for a while, You might get an intuitive feel for this. It may be something that Your submissive can tell You, but it may not be, they may not have thought about it or analyzed it to this extent. If You can figure out what sort of mind set underlies Your submissives/slaves desire to submit their will to You, it makes doing new things and guiding Your future play a lot easier. You'll know what new things are likely to work and what won't because You'll understand the underlying motivations.
Is bondage okay? If so, how much and what kind? Is pain okay? If so, how much and what kind? These are valuable tools of the Mistress, in well trained hands, these tools can make both the Mistress and the submissive/slave very content people.
T
here are dozens of tools and pieces of furniture used for the Domination of Your submissive/slave. Find ones that please the both of Y/you and enjoy.
When You know what Your submissive wants. You also have to figure out what You want. It's easy, when You're first starting out and trying to figure out how to be a Domme, to imagine some stereotypical stern, sneering Dominant and try to emmulate that image. But not all of Us are cut out to fit that mold, and luckily for Us, not all submissives like Dominants who fit that mold. You need to find Your personal style. The best style for You may not be the one that's the closest to the stereotype, it's the one that makes Your eyes light up and your energy rise and makes you feel that THIS is the most alive You have felt in a long time. Personally, I'm a pretty gentle Dominant as far as manner goes, but manner can be deceiving. One of the things I like to do is to force My submissive to do things that he/she wants to do but is too frightened to do, the "you are so much mine that I can make you do something that terrifies you" feeling is quite a rush for Me, but I know I can let myself give in to that feeling because I'm making her do something that she secretly wants. I also like mental stripping -- making My submissive/slave be mentally and emotionally naked with Me, he/she must tell me anything I want to know about her/him. My Greatest pleasure is controlling My submissive/slaves orgasm, My pet may not cum unless I let him/her. By teasing and testing his/her limits in all aspects I can learn what I want to force expansion on. The adrenaline and endorphin created during play are addictive, to push Your submissives/slaves limits brings him/her to a higher plane bit by bit.
Your style will be influenced by Your submissive's style. The sort of submissive/slave who wants to be forced into submission will elicit a different response from You than the sort of submissive/slave who wants to lay their submission at Your feet like a present. And of course, some submissive/slave can do one thing at one time and the other thing at another time. Just to keep You on Your toes.........
Spanking Styles: I consider myself an avid practitioner of the spanking arts and a Woman who makes a tremendous effort to carefully interview each person who must lie across my lap. This is just one way to entertain Yourself and Your slave on those cool jungle nights. When I start asking very direct questions as to where slaves like to scene, I got a variety of responses. I was able to put them into five basic categories. It's very risky to sound overly informed about something so personal and flexible as spanking. I feel as if I'm saying something so silly as, "This is the only way to raise a child" or, "This is the only way to make love". Naturally, saying either sentence would be very foolish. My only purpose in categorizing anything regarding spanking would be to assist in some sort of communication between Spankers and spankees so that the ultimate goal would be mutual pleasure. Playful spankings occur with laughing and/or light topics of conversation. It can includes baby talk, but not always. This is the style most often seen in the open because the mood is light and it invites others to take part, sometimes using "spanking games". In playful situations the submissive often converts to a loving "brat", which is often misunderstood as a masochist. Whether the brat instigates their own treatment or has lovingly been "set up" by the Dominant, the lively submissive adds and certain amount of energy to the setting. Since this is the style the scene people see the most, then they falsely assume that Spankers are weak beginners at Dominating. This is not true, its just a common starter for a good spanking scene. It also helps to protect the spanking from becoming sexual when that is not the desired emotion. When the focus becomes something overly sexual or tremendously painful then I know P/person hasn't a clue as to how important the mental and emotional aspects are. The greater part of a good spanking takes place in your head but you arrive there only with a good partner. Punishment spankings can get into some very serious scenes and are often misinterpreted by those Who don't have that calling. These encounters can get personal and can be based on offenses that the receiver feels the need to have forgiven. It is often referred to as a "purification" that one may have experienced in childhood. Serious punishment spankings can be so real that it is rare and awkward for them to occur in an open or public setting. The striking is very repetitive and can include some serious pain, although the pain itself is not the focus of the scene. Naturally, this is a scene one does not indulge in without mutual consent from the other partner. While the striking with a hand, hairbrush or paddle may be intense, the atmosphere is one of control and loving concern. The words seem to come straight from a parent's lips...... "You know what's going to happen and you know why. We have talked about this before and you chose not to follow my instructions. Now, bring me the hairbrush and get over My knee." The room is quiet and the ritual begins. The clothing is lowered, the naughty one is bent over and the spanking commences, stroke after stroke on the raised bottom . Should there be any signs of resistance the one in charge should have a number of solutions readily available so that there is no misunderstanding that this spanking will happen according to plan. In all honesty I have seen very few Dominants who know how to do a meaningful, loving, and serious spanking. I'm not talking about pain. Pain is not as big a part of the punishment as people think. A serious spanking scene, one that makes a submissive feel humble and forgiven takes carefully crafted mental and verbal skills that pierce their way into the heart and mind of the one who is over Your lap. Even during a serious punishment spanking I make sure there is some sort of safe word or signal. However, I have found that when you use reason and logic during the scene as to why this spanking must happen in the most strictest fashion possible, submissives will take as much pain as they can because they have been lovingly convinced that it is for their own good and in their best interests. Rarely do I ever end a punishment spanking without some kind of nurturing; some sort of reassurance that this was done out of love. When I am not loving at the end it is usually because they are being sent away and out of My sight for awhile...remember .....never do this while angry Maintenance spankings can be "just because". The Dominant knows that the submissive is due and doles it out accordingly. Or maybe the Dominant is just in the mood to please their own calling. It's been said that many a submissive willingly comes to the Dominant and simply asks for a spanking because they know they need it. Sensual spankings tend to be an experience of exciting the senses; the feeling of a warm lap beneath you and the embarrassment of having your bottom high in the air. This is an experience that focuses on touch, such as firm hands unfastening your clothes and putting you in place over pillows, over a couch, or over a knee. You feel your skin being soothed with a hand then smacked a few times. The spanking itself is interspersed with other types of touches. Fingernails and/or fingertips gently scratching along the backs of your thighs and calves; a warm hand kneading your back; those fingertips or nails again, this time scratching the cheeks of your bottom; all theses can add to the sensuality of the experience. There is a whole collection of implements that make a sensuous spanking like a gentle massage. Erotic spankings have more touching and stroking in between slaps of a less rhythmic cadence. Private areas are readily touched and any position is possible. If both parties are into spanking the whole process can lead to outrageous sexual satisfaction. The difference between this and a sensual spanking is that the sensations an erotic spanking focuses on are more sexual in nature, while a sensual spanking is about the sensations on the skin. Finally, I must add that there nothing is absolute or written in stone. I offered a few categories for starting points but any combination is possible. Types and Reasons PLAYFUL PUNISHMENT / DISCIPLINE................"The Ritual" / Rituals MAINTENANCE / PREVENTION SENSUOUS EROTIC Positions Approaches Responses Implements Positions (No matter what you use, always have plenty of room for feet, head and hands.) *Over-The-Knee, chair / bed / sofa * over one knee or two * scissors hold * bent over a desk / bed / sofa * tummy down on a bed * holding ankles *all fours suspended stocks bondage Approaches ** private / group / public ** serious delivery or a more jovial setting ** dressed or nude participants ** street clothes / lingerie vs. leather or child-like costuming * parent / teacher / student / child / "brat" *boss / subordinate vs. master / slave / "S.A.M." vs. two equals with equal "power" * repeated rhythmic striking (or tapping) vs. less striking more rubbing & touching * scolding phrases vs. humorous vs. erotic words and commands vs. various sensations * reason (punishment) * no reason (maintenance) vs. playful interaction vs. sex (erotic) vs. tactile pleasure * temperature taking & enemas vs. fingers and butt plugs * chastisement & embarrassment vs. total humiliation vs. relaxation * for your own good" vs. "for my / our pleasure" embarrassing, "forced" feminization vs. pleasurable cross-dressing Responses (many possibilities) * resistance / tears / pouting embarrassment / obedience laughing / joking / pleasurable moans compliance / humble silence Implements ** hand ** paddle (wood, leather) * belt * hairbrush * wooden spoon * slipper *ruler * cane * birch * tawse * strap * switch whip / riding crop cat o'nine tails martinet / flogger (* more traditional / purist approach ) (** appeals to both traditional spankers and erotic leather players) "The Ritual": The process of repentance, purification, forgiveness & loving correction. Possibilities: very real offenses or role-play... forewarning, anticipation, corner time, "fear", serious atmosphere, serious spanking, privacy, scolding, explanation, followed by cuddle time or being sent to bed. There is closure and forgiveness. Rituals: Possibilities: Sent to a room to wait, standing in the corner, addressing someone as Mistress or M'Lady during this time, asking for the spanking, standing and hearing offenses explained, being told to present the implement, having pants removed, or being told to remove them.
The Slave Collar is the representation of a stage of commitment between the Mistress and submissive. The Formal Collar is offered by the Mistress with the intent to formalize the bond and attachment between Themselves and their submissive. It is a recognition of commitment, deep emotional feelings, devotion, mutual respect and consideration. It expresses a belief that the Mistress and submissive share similar ideals and a genuine and growing desire to share each others lives in It's weight within the O/our community is equivocal to the wedding ring. The acceptance of this collar by the submissive is an open, voluntary offering of their complete submission to the Mistress from that day forward. The presentation of this collar often involves a joyous celebration including an exchange of vows, and /or benediction by The Queen. In addition, M/members may choose to engage in the placement of permanent body markings upon the submissive at this time. This can be via tattoo's, piercings, brandings, cuttings etc. Some ceremonies will include a carefully designed public scene so that the guests can visually enjoy and participate in this union and bond by watching the permanent marking in its application. This is a serious decision by B/both P/people and often arrived at after long periods of searching for just the right P/person and in many cases after being together for a long period of time to make sure that T/their choice is sound. At this stage in the collaring process often the Mistress and submissive feel the same deep love that any vanilla couple might feel coupled to the trust, respect and commitment so crucial in the D/s lifestyle. To be invited to attend a D/s Formal Collaring is similar to being invited to a wedding. If you are invited to a collaring but are not very familiar with the participants then be polite, courteous and respectful. DO NOT interrupt a scene with questions or commentary. Wait until the completion of a scene to address the Mistress. It is often considered proper to congratulate the submissive independent of the Mistress after such a collaring After you have congratulated the Mistress. If you are in doubt as to this protocol then take the opportunity to ask the Mistress when you are congratulating them if it is permissible to congratulate their submissive. Remember that if the submissive has just scene, been pierced, branded or tattooed they may and probably will be in sub-space. Be gentle, friendly and kind and forgive them if they are wobbly, spacey and a bit out of it . By the way - the Mistress may be a bit shaken too, so a good hug or two is generally not unwelcome (this depends on the temperament of the Mistress of course!) Often an open play party commences after such events.
The Leather Collar: The new slave is to be placed in the leather collar signifying he/she is in training. The slave is owned by the Kaladon is considered owned by all the Mistresses of the village. New slaves must learn O/our ways before being collared but his or her training is continued while wearing a leather collar. Slaves not owned by an individual Mistress must undergo testing by The Queen in order to be promoted to a Copper collar. The leather slave serves All in the Tribe including Allys, and is a pleasure slave to All. Only slaves collared to a Mistress are exempt from serving All Members of Kaladon. The Copper Collar: This collar indicates that the slave has their serves, and is diligently working for self improvement. Copper slaves serves all in the Tribe and has earned the right to enjoy sexual favors from the Mistresses. The Gold Collar: Slaves allowed to wear a gold collar are shown how valued they are as property to their Mistress. They have earned the right to be thought of as a personal breeder to their Mistress. The have also earned the right to own a few personal items as well. This of course is up to their Mistress. The Silver Collar: The slave that has earned a Silver collar has to have been a member of the tribe for one year. They must have shown the ability to not only serve their Mistresses well, but have shown that they tend to the daily needs of the village, show a genuine concern for their fellow brothers and sisters and have a working knowledge of ALL the rules and Ways of Kaladon. The Jeweled Collar: This collar shows to A/all that this slave has achieved perfection of the status "slave" . Unquestioned abilities of a submissive and pure attainment of enlightenment of what Kaladon represents.
The Binding posture:
A slave will lie on their belly, forehead pressed to the floor. Ankles crossed and wrists, also crossed, in the small of their back. Then waits motionless to be bound.
Da/Na:
A slave kneels with thighs spread wide, exposing their pride, for the Mistresses pleasure. With back straight, chest pushed forward head held high, eyes lowered to the ground, hands rest at their side, palms up to show submission.
The Crawl:
A slave drops to all fours, forearms flat on the ground, and lowers head so that it is slightly above the ground with hips high. Crawling to the Mistress until their head is by Her boots.
Groveling:
A slave kneels behind the Mistress's right foot. As She moves they must remain just behind Her foot, but never come in contact with it at any time.
A Slaves Collaring:
A slave kneels at the Mistress's feet, sitting on their heels. Placing their arms behind their back, crossing the wrists and extends neck.
A slave lies on their belly, placing his chin on the Mistress's feet.
A slave drops to their hands and knees, forehead to the ground and hips raised high. with thighs spread wide, exposing their slave heat for the Mistress's pleasure.
A slave turns their head up to the Mistress, puckering lips, waiting motionless, forbidden to move until the Mistress's kiss brings release.
A slave kneels, bending at the waist, placing a cheek to the floor. Then, taking the Mistress's right foot, places it upon their neck, arms behind their back with wrists crossed. A slave might assume this position if they have displeased the Mistress, as it shows complete submission, Her foot on their neck showing that they offer even life freely.
A slave kneels with their knees modestly together, back straight, eyes lowered. Palms rest down upon their thighs.
A slave quickly drops to their knees and raises hips. they place their head to the floor and then crosses their arms above their head. waiting motionless ready to accept the Mistress's punishment. Variation a slave stands legs shoulder width apart arms crossed in front. Standing motionless awaiting their punishment. Reasons for and benefits of chastity belts: 1) Provides peace of mind to the Woman (Keyholder) that her partner won't (be tempted to) stray, as in the sense of having an affair. 2) Provides assurance to the Woman that the male won't indulge in "self abuse", which She which she may find could reduce his motivation or performance level in meeting Her needs. 3) Is a fantasy of the wearer and She goes along to support his interest. 4) Is a tool for addressing significantly different libidos within a relationship. For example, perhaps She is just not interested in having sexual activity as frequently as he might like it, and the use of a cb is one way (particularly if he already has an interest in cb's) of making sure She is not bothered by unwanted advances. 5) Provides a tool to "encourage" the male to pay more attention to Her sexual needs and improve his performance and technique in this area. 6) She finds the power transfer and control resulting from her holding of the key to be a turn on, sexually and otherwise. 7) Encourages the male to be more submissive, obedient and "trainable", not only in terms of pleasing Her sexually, but in areas outside the bedroom as well. There are obviously overlaps among these possible motivations, and no doubt other reasons/benefits as well. Some of the motivations are what might be considered to be purely practical approaches to "managing" the sexual component of a realtionship (perhaps not even accompanied by any significant denial of male orgasm), while others get more into the psychological and power exchange areas.
The Rules of The Amazon:
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Mistresses must follow the Ways of The Amazon above all. Hold true to the oath You take when becoming a Mistress.
O/our slaves are to be treated with love and respect.
The fools that enter the village and show disrespect must be warned that their actions are unacceptable. The village maintains role play rules...including the three post rule for kills. The final rule on a kill are is for the Queen to decide upon.
Ask Mistresses who have been in the village longer than You for answers to Your questions on procedure instead of assuming Your actions are correct.
If You want to mate, state this information to the Queen and She will allow the M/man to become a M/member if She agrees to the mating, Only M/members may mate.
Mistresses may take as many as three slaves for Thier own and may have an unlimited number of slaves under Her protection. If Her slaves suffer from lack of care on Her part, the council has the right to remove them from Her care.
The taking of slaves in Kaladon must be done with great care, only the best submissives and slaves may become members.
Mistresses are to train the slaves They collar and give them a task or two as their own duties to the village. Please remember that these are not the lil ones only duties.
Allies must be voted in by council.
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