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WHY?
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We wish to spread the world of OWEN throughout the universe. He is the source of everything that will be in the new world order. Without obeying him, when nuclear war begins you will all die! (evil cackle)
The followers of OWEN don't believe in the execution of strange vegetables, or followers and burying them in mass graves.
You see OWEN soon will be known to every man,woman and child on this insignificant tomato.
If you don't when he becomes world dictator you are gonna be pretty screwed!
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>THE SECRET SIGN AND THEME SONG. FOR OWENITES ONLY!
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Put hands as in prayer, only fingertips touching and tilt head down while wiggling fingers in Mr Burns fashion. The followers of OWEN will become clear with this sign
THE SONG.
(To The Village People's YMCA)
OWEN he's a really cool guy.
I said OWEN thinks the end is nigh
I said OWEN beat you guys to a pulp
With his psychotic tendancies
CHORUS: So lets all bow down to O-W-E-N
If not you'll die by O-W-E-N
He's a dictators dream
One man freak machine
Lets all go for a long long walk
So lets all bow down to O-W-E-N.
If not you'll die by O-W-E-N
Come and join OWEN's cult
It's really FREUD's fault.
Because he's his role model
Owen goes for walks everyday
Because Owen keeps bad luck at bay
I said just because your paranoid
Doesn't mean they're not out to get you!
OWEN We love you you know
I said OWEN
Friendly psychopath GO!
Let's win. OWEN you'll send that Tony Blair.
Back to his magic toadstool!
CHORUS
OWEN you would laugh if you knew.
Your soulmate, is a member too.
You almost got together but she
Now fancies Wade.
CHORUS
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Levels Of Brilliance
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Join the Cult.
The cult is very selective and so you have to say why you are strange enough to be spared when OWEN destroys the world.
We will get back to you if you have been chosen then you can go and seek others to join the weirdness.
You will be given training. There are certain levels of OWEN like godness.
PADAWAAN- trainee owenites. All are given this rank when you join. This means that on the end of your internet name you have to have CHOSEN.
MASTER- when you have passed the developmental stages a promotion can be obtained to the rank of master. The last name this will give you is BOB
MINISTER OF PARLIMENT- when OWEN destroys the world he will need a government so if you graduate from being a master you will get this rank. The name is REDFERN.
HIGH PRIESTESS/PRIEST- These are the select few who actually know OWEN. People who have a chance are given his e-mail address so they can see his omnipotency. Very few make it to the designation of HARMAN.
So join now and be spared from the torture of eternal hell.
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