1) your physical body

2) your emotional balance

3) your relationships

4) your physical living circumstances

5) your finances

6) your attitude to the world around you

7) your ability to handle conflict

8) your ability to handle stress

9) your psychological state

10) your spiritual balance

1. Your Physical Body

If your body is weak, it is either a genetic problem or an imbalance you created. If your weakness is genetic, you can change a "poor me" attitude to one of strength by realizing that your weakness is a gift. It allows you to express power in spite of your condition. It's like having one or two oarsmen in your boat and no oar for them. So what? The boat can make it anyway. A bit slower perhaps, but it will get there. And the extra time it takes will allow you to enjoy the journey more fully.

If your weakness is not genetic, fix it. Or at least express the most energy you can towards healing your body so that it doesn't dominate your life. As you put real effort into the healing, the rise in energy that results inspires you to go further. You will become happier and more balanced.

2. Your Emotional Balance

Emotional turmoil is yet another programmed response. As children we are taught to cry out to get what we want -- and sometimes we carry that over into adult life. "If I create enough fuss, will you love me?"

Your reaction to an emotional situation is just your opinion; it is not necessarily truth. In any given situation, you can react dispassionately or otherwise, as you wish. Train yourself to be more forgiving of yourself, more detached, and you will see your life in an infinite sense -- not a finite sense. Everything becomes a lesson, a way of strengthening you.

Gauge the level of your emotional rage. Everyone has it. If it comes up within you, do something positive to release it at once. Communication usually works.

Also, avoid conflict. Remember -- only the fool stands and fights; the sage walks away. It's pointless to get your knickers in a twist if a certain person fails to react the way you want. It's best to avoid people and situations that drive you crazy. Remember to vote with your feet. If a situation is untenable or unchangeable, walk away.

3. Your Relationships

Through relationships we learn about ourselves, because people around us reflect back to us what we are. That is why many relationships are hard. If your relationships cause you to struggle, ask yourself why. What opinion do you hold about the relationship or yourself that prevents it from going the way you want? What are you trying to push against? What is your level of giving and receiving? Are you allowing yourself to be ripped off, and, if you are, is that okay, or do you want to change that?

4. Your Living Circumstances

Are your circumstances designated to nurture you? Do they support you? Or are you at the mercy of circumstances? If so, what are you going to do about it? What is the level of struggle here? For example, does the home you live in take so much effort to maintain that you get out of it less than you put in?

5. Your Finances

The question here is not, "Do you have enough money?" Rather, it is, "Is your life contained and balanced within the money you do have?" If it's not, you'll usually find yourself struggling to maintain a lifestyle that your ego/personality feels it needs, but which your current energy may not be able to sustain.

6. Your Attitude to the World Around You

Your life -- your evolution -- is your business; what others do is their business. If you let the world affect how you feel, what you are saying is, "I do not make my own decisions, I just have a Pavlovian response to anything that may twang my emotions."

Are you struggling to fix the world? If so, why? It's a bit of an ego trip when people think they can fix things. If you can see the world as an infinite evolution -- the way God would see it -- you would know that it's more or less perfect and does not need fixing. It's only when we view the world within the finite context of our emotions and ego that it looks less than perfect.

You can instantly become happy and free by deciding to leave the world alone and concentrate instead on yourself. By strengthening yourself, you serve all humanity. Each of us is linked to one another.

7. Your Ability to Handle Conflict

Conflict is always just a divergence of opinions. Are you struggling to convince others that your opinion is right? And if you are right, so what? To win a moral victory at the expense of your sanity is dumb.

8. Your Ability to Handle Stress

In a crowded world, with all the obligations we take on, stress is natural. Do you react emotionally or unemotionally to stress? Do you understand how to handle it? Some top-notch strugglers like to create stress so they can feel excitement in their lives. They live on their adrenals. You don't have to go bananas in order to have fun or to feel exhilarated about life.

9. Your Psychological State

If your psychological state causes you anguish, it will be either a by-product of your physical state or, once more, of your opinion. How much of each applies to you?

10. Your Spiritual Balance

Balance is natural. Whenever you force something to happen, you have to come off-balance to do so. How much do you exist in the flow? And how much do you have to push?

The difference between a spiritual person and a person who is less evolved is that spiritual persons are real. They live within the truth of the inner self, what many call the Higher Self. They don't play games; they don't have to make excuses. They can say with conviction, "I am what I am." They realize that they are neither all-knowing nor perfect and are happy with that.

Because people are generally weak, they tend to be phony and play out a character who is not them -- who is not truth. So they struggle to maintain a Jekyll and Hyde existence. One is the official image the ego/personality says has to be maintained, and the other, what they really are. Often, people are so settled in their ego's reality that they won't realize what the Higher Self within is telling them. They see the fake character as real and will struggle to maintain that. Their energies and lifestyle become so fragmented that every effort to achieve anything becomes a painful grind.

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Below, I've listed eleven of the most common reasons or aspects of struggle -- the Strugglers' Hit Parade. Do any of these apply to you? If so, let's look at that. In the next section, I'll give you a powerful action plan to go beyond this.

Most strugglers have low self-esteem. This causes them to constantly seek the acceptance and approval of others. Yet the acknowledgement they seek is rarely forthcoming, and usually doesn't satisfy them even when they get it. This causes frustration. Because they lack a sense of identity, a sense of knowing or accepting who they really are, they shift their attention from what is real -- inside themselves -- to the symbols of life, which are not real -- outside themselves. They see the things around them as confirmation that they are okay, rather than confirming who they are within themselves.

Thus, life for them is a struggle to sustain a status that is fake. And no amount of baubles or bangles will keep this struggler happy, for acquisitions have only short emotional shelf lives. If strugglers buy, say, a new yacht, they can say, "Please accept me because I own this yacht." They are excited for a while as they play out the theater of yachting. But sooner or later, the emotional pleasure of the yacht drains away, and they then have to go and find something else to fill their acceptance needs.

If, by chance, life does not go the way the struggler wants, they get mad and frustrated -- because now they are detached from their confirming symbols. They not only feel worthless, but they don't have the confirmation they constantly crave.

Strugglers usually have big egos because they allow their egos/personalities to talk them into a greater opinion of themselves than they can sustain. It has to be exaggerated because they don't believe, or see, worth in what they are. So naturally, to compensate, they exaggerate life in the hope that at least some of it will come off.

You are divine spirit within a body, and you are finite ego/personality. The divine spirit or Higher Self knows the direction in which it is headed and has most of the power -- the inner power. The ego holds the outer power. When your ego/personality is going in the same direction as is the Higher Self, things flow. But if the ego/personality is off in another direction, struggle ensues. Remember, spirituality is being real, living in truth. The ego/personality lives in a variation of the truth, which is its opinion.

To justify the fact that their lives are out of control, strugglers like to feel that struggle is noble -- that somehow God is pleased with them for struggling. If you were God, you would fall over laughing at that one.

The ego/personality decides what it needs to keep itself happy, and it decides how fast it wants those circumstances to come about. Often the struggler will set goals that are unrealistic. They may decide on a level, and say to themselves, "I will have that in six months." But their energy is not there yet on a metaphysical level. So there is a variance between what they believe is possible and what is actually possible. Usually the struggler will be impatient and push like crazy to make the deadlines they've set.

In that headlong plunge for the goal, strugglers gather a metaphysical wake around themselves, similar to the wake of a ship. That wake is hard to operate with, for their lives will lack fluidity. The wake creates an energy that is impossible for the Higher Self to penetrate.

They will be heading north, say, and the Higher Self will be whispering, "South, south," but the struggler does not hear it. The struggler sees only the goal, not the path. They're trapped by their opinion of how to reach the goal. No other possibilities exist. So life moves out of their way, leaving them to operate in a barren land. The strugglers are forced to head in the direction they've set for themselves.

Often, in the frantic effort to make the goal, they miss the side-turning that would offer simplicity or a shortcut. This kind ploughs on regardless of pain and anguish, or of whether their actions are appropriate or effective.

Strugglers lack understanding. Sometimes it is just a lack of knowing about the physical plane and how the marketplace works. Usually the strugglers will have dropped out sometime back and be drifting, for they are not really prepared to concentrate on life and learn how the world works. They usually can't be bothered -- struggle is easier.

It's common for this type to feel that the world owes them a living, and they get upset when circumstances do not agree with that point of view.

They also lack metaphysical knowledge. They don't see how the Universal Laws operate in their lives. So, rather than create an energy and let life come to them, gradually and in its own time, they go after life -- and push it away through their needs and emotion.

Strugglers are often very social animals. They believe in a social reality, and they accept the opinions of others as truth. This forces them to live up to what are often the unreal expectations of others. They worry about what others think of them because they are not sure of themselves.

To go past this trap, all you have to do is to realize that your evolution through life is sacrosanct. You are the only one who can decide what is best for you. Only you have the answers. What society thinks of you is totally irrelevant, for others do not have all the facts. Remember, people will always try to manipulate you into their way of thinking. They will want you to act in a way that supports them. When you no longer feel the need to win their approval -- because basically you have won your own approval -- their manipulations of you become meaningless.

As with little children, you can love them for the games they play, but you do not have to take part. You can walk away. In the end, the only true path for you is as an independent. It's only a matter of habit and the way you learn to react. By detaching you become free.

Stability is the key to a worry-free existence. This means balance in every area of your life. This topic is dealt with extensively in my book, The Force, but let us encapsulate the main point, which is:

To have balance and stability, you have to exercise control over every area of your life. This may not be possible as yet, but you can move toward total self-realization bit by bit. This means you are not going to let life tow you around. You will develop the power to say "no" to situations that are not a part of your overall intention for yourself. You are the general of your army, making choices that constantly move you forward, towards that higher energy you seek.

It also means that you have the right to be satisfied with what you have and with what you are right now. Otherwise, you'll never reach a point where you are satisfied. You have to be happy with your lot right now. Just because your ego/personality may have sold you on an alternative program, it doesn't mean that you can't settle within the one you have now. There must be lessons to learn here and now. If those lessons are not learned, if you do not accept what you have created for yourself, your energy does not move forward. By resisting, by not adapting to change, you stagnate. Some professional strugglers love to bang their heads against the wall -- it feels so good when they stop.

Today is part of your life's curriculum. Learn it and tomorrow will look after itself. Think of this: If you've made it through life so far with what you know, it's obvious that you will make it through the rest of your life once you possess greater knowledge and objectivity. That is truth.

Concentration is a key discipline in personal growth and development. Everything else is meaningless, for your power rests where your consciousness flows. When you are centered and concentrating on what you are doing, you not only derive more from your actions, but all your power -- inner and outer -- is being used to empower your actions.

The mind hates to concentrate. Most people cannot center on one idea for more than a minute. Now if you train the laser light of your intention in a direction, you empower that direction with your energy. If fifteen seconds later you are distracted by a thought -- "Did I leave the iron on?" -- your power has gone.

By developing a goal, concentrating on it for a few seconds, and then becoming distracted -- and by concentrating at various levels of intensity -- you put into Universal Law such a hesitant, staccato message that it doesn't know what the hell you want.

Successful people set up a plan of action and concentrate on it until it's completed. Then they set up another. While working on an idea, they give it their full attention, empowering it with their consciousness until it becomes a reality.

Watch how your mind plays games with you. Often we start a project, and fifteen minutes later the mind goes, "I hate having to concentrate on this. Let's have a cup of coffee." And so the project is put to one side. Or perhaps the phone rings; the caller has no idea what you are doing; their intention is expressed out of their need to speak to you. We allow the mind to use the telephone call to distract us rather than saying to the caller, "Thanks for calling, but I can't talk to you now; call back at Christmas." Through concentration you become powerful. Force your mind to concentrate, and you have won a battle over struggle.

You are the general. Plot your battle plan and stay centered on it, but let the winds and currents of life allow you to flow to other areas. Designing your life is a matter of discipline. You need certain things, and you deserve them. But how do you get them with minimum effort? By cutting out those things that are superfluous. Toss the extra baggage out, and hold on to a life of simplicity. Constantly evaluate circumstances to see if things are worth the effort. Often you will find they are not.

To go beyond struggle you have to have order. Otherwise you dissipate energy, wasting time in confusion.

You are a consciousness, a spirit, but you are also a physical being. There is a point when you will have to take your creativity to the people and sell it. That involves concerted action in the marketplace. Strugglers don't like concerted action. Yet through it, you get what you want.

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There is no greater gift to yourself and to those around you than your deciding to dump struggle, for struggle is an unholy battle that you fight with yourself. It is not natural. Here are eight pointers you may wish to consider as you move from toil and struggle into absolute freedom.

That which is struggle to one person is just gentle effort to another. Struggle is always how you feel about something -- your opinion. It is laced with negative emotion. To dump struggle, you should get used to asking yourself in each circumstance, "What is my underlying emotion or opinion here?"

Perhaps your circumstances are not really a struggle, and all you have to do is make a few slight changes in the way you view things. Usually the correction can be made simply and easily.

If things don't flow, ask yourself, "Am I going too fast? Or am I too slow? Is this the right time?" A great idea may result in a total flop if presented at the wrong time. Usually, things take longer than we expect them to. This is because we can think faster than we can act. So ideas have to have time to incubate and come together, especially when you need others to help you materialize your dreams. They need time to become comfortable with your idea and to make it their own, to move through whatever considerations or opinions they may have.

Sometimes you may be moving too slowly. This may be through a lack of resolve or laziness or just plain dithering. To make life work you have to face it full-frontal -- head out with a good plan and trust in the Great Spirit to deliver. But head out toward your goal even if it seems a long way off. Nothing will carry you. You will usually have to carry yourself.

Moving gracefully toward your goal, you enjoy the journey and watch constantly to see if your actions are in keeping with whatever energy you need to consummate your desire.

At this time, the world has over five billion inhabitants. They are the characters you will invite to be in your army of helpers. Most will not be suitable, and many others will be busy in campaigns of their own.

But some are eminently suitable. To go beyond struggle, first you have to be able to accept the help of others and, second, you have to choose your characters carefully. If you find yourself in a campaign with the cast already set, you must become a crafty general. You must get the most out of your people -- given the circumstances, the goals, and what the budget allows.

It is a mathematical certainty that you will eventually eliminate most of the people who come into your life. We tend to think that the characters we have around us are the only characters. Not so.

I used to think that if I didn't get on with the kids in the neighborhood I would have no friends. So I adapted to what I felt they wanted of me. Truth is that there are billions of kids all over the place -- but coming from my finite view as a small boy, I did not see that.

Never be afraid to let people go if they are not right; often that is the only way you can make room for the right person. Also, you are doing them a service. If they are square pegs in round holes, they need your help to move on to a more comfortable setting.

To successfully materialize a battle plan, you have to go into the nitty-gritty. Do you have the wherewithal, the components you need? Or are you signing yourself up for a glorious disaster? Remember, just because you have a good idea, that is absolutely no reason to embark on it. Just because you love someone is no reason to marry them.

Let's say you want to open a shop. Do you have the capital? What do you know about shopkeeping? Is there a market for the products you want to sell? It's amazing how many people open businesses without ever finding out if there is really any demand for that business. They feel that because they really like pink shirts with little dots, everyone else in town will. Not so.

A good general does not commit his troops until he knows what he is getting into. For example, if you want to start a magazine in the USA, it takes about half-a-million dollars and five years to make it a financial success. Most new publications fold because the creators just don't know that simple fact.

Ask yourself prior to committing to anything, "Do I have the wherewithal to pull it off, and do I know what I am getting into?"

What is your motivation for taking action? What is the level of your commitment? And do you actually want the end result, or are you going for something else instead? For example, are you dating the brother so you can be near the man you actually love? Is it worth the effort -- or is there a simpler way?

In Warriors in the Mist, the five-day intensive seminar we put on in Taos, New Mexico, we have a section called "The Quickening." You learn to speed up your etheric energy and to evaluate your every move. You do this in light of results and of the speed at which things materialize in your life.

Expending energy in a wasteful way is the road to poverty and struggle. You get bogged down in your own inefficiency. Eventually your life becomes an affirmation of helplessness. Remember, most of the paths you will be offered are totally inappropriate for you. At every turn, give yourself five good reasons for saying "no." And while walking into a relationship or project, look for the exit!

To go beyond struggle, you have to go beyond rigid opinion. That means opening yourself up to change. Look to see how many paths there are that are available to you and that you can easily identify. And at how many possibilities you may have missed.

A young businesswoman came to see me recently. Over lunch she explained a business deal she was considering. Maneuvering the salt and pepper pots across the table, she showed me how the deal would net her $100,000. She wanted to know what I felt about the plan.

As we talked, the waiter brought a finger bowl to our table and placed it haphazardly between the salt and pepper pots. Suddenly, I saw that if the deal were divided into two parts it would change dramatically.

I asked if this was a possibility.

"Yes," she replied.

In analyzing the situation, we discovered that, expressed in its divided form, the deal would net her $480,000. She went away with her battle plan. The event reminded me that there is always more than one way to skin a rabbit.

Look at your options. Then play the devil's advocate and look for all the angles you may have missed.

If you find yourself in an uphill situation, ask yourself, "What am I resisting? What is it in this situation that I have missed and that is causing me turmoil?"

It always amazes me that people will put up with difficult conditions and actually like them. If conditions do not suit you, then set about changing them.

What is the level of control you exert? Are you rushing around like crazy? Have you relinquished control to others? If so, why? Was it because you felt powerless? Perhaps it felt comfortable to allow someone else to drive the bus? Why?

By exercising control, you command and become responsible. You also have the ability to alter things to suit yourself. And you're not prone to the whims of others.

Remember, it's okay to get what you want from life.

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The very nature of our existence on the earth plane involves us in a certain amount of restriction. That is one of the lessons you come here to learn. Once that lesson is learned, you can move from restriction into absolute freedom, because ultimately your spiritual heritage is to be independent and free.

Effort is a part of our condition as physical beings, for we have to translate thoughts and feelings into physical action.

Struggle, however, is not natural. It is an unholy battle we fight with ourselves. But because it is a by-product of our personal imbalances, it's a condition we can easily go beyond.

By having the courage to identify and face the causes of struggle in your life, you grant yourself the power to transcend. Once you accept that you are the cause of the struggle, you can then affirm, with certainty, that all struggle in your life can be eliminated, given time.

Further, because struggle is a programmed response -- meaning that everyone is taught to struggle from an early age -- it may take time to reprogram your attitudes for a more carefree existence. But it's fun to see yourself move gradually from various forms of anguish into celestial acceptance of yourself and the world around you.

To be free is a great gift. To achieve that, you do not need great amounts of money or influence or power. All you need is the ability to place yourself in a nonconfrontive mode. First, with yourself and, second, with the world around you.

As struggle begins to melt in the light of your balance and positivity, the new energy brings a freshness to your life, allowing your emotions to take on a resonating inner calm. Inner calm allows you to pull more and more opportunities to yourself, because energy seeks its own kind. Balance and great good fortune can only come to a person who is balanced and feels fortunate.

Each day, from this moment on, toss out one aspect of your life that causes you difficulty. Make a note of your progress. See yourself moving inexorably toward your final goal -- total freedom, exquisite happiness, absolute calm.

Once you reach that point and are able to sustain it for a while, teach it to others. Teach them that life was never meant to be a struggle.

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About the author:

Author and lecturer Stuart Wilde is one of the real characters of the self-help, human potential movement. His style is humorous, controversial, poignant, and transformational. He has written 11 books, including those that make up the very successful Taos Quintet, which are considered classics in their genre. They are: Affirmations, The Force, Miracles, The Quickening, and The Trick to Money Is Having Some. Stuart's books have been translated into 12 languages.

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