Tennessee
was big, strong brave in his youth, but that is not where our story
begins. You see, his youth, had passed. Tennessee had squandered his youth
on foolish things, hedonistic things. In other words, he had lived 40 years
in the moment. And all he had left were memories of good times passed,
as well as bad. He had married badly and for all the wrong reasons and
all he had to show for it were two sons, who he hadn't seen in 3 months
when our story begins. Tennessee was a very sad person. He loved those
boys more than his own life and this separation caused him to die a little
more each day. It was a similar condition to the predicament of Atlas in
Greek mythology.
Atlas was the giant who held the earth on his shoulders. And everyday the buzzards came and ate away at his liver, leaving only a small piece of it intact and Atlas in excruciating pain. Then every night, the liver would regenerate itself before the birds returned to repeat the process the next day. He could not resist the birds, for to do so, would mean to drop the earth, and let it fall into the void....There was a similar process at work on Tennessee. He was as powerless against his demons as Atlas was against the buzzards until he met HER.
"HER" was
a beautiful Indian maiden named, "Illinois".
She lived in her homeland, far to the north of the tribal homeland of Tennessee,
Illinois had beautiful long dark hair and was very smart and had a great
zest for life. She also had the biggest heart that was 
known
to exist. Illinois had this in spite of the fact that she had not had a
very easy time in life. Life had, in fact, been very cruel to her
in many ways. She had been married when she was little more than a child
herself to a brave from her village. She had borne him four beautiful children
and was very kind and meek, while he was very cruel to her on many occasions
and the Great Spirit took him, mercifully, for all concerned.
She had left him a short time before he was taken and had taken another "brave" to be her husband. Ironically, this person, too, was cruel to her, as the previous man had been, despite the fact that she had given him a beautiful son, as well. This was a very sad set of circumstances and made Illinois very, very sad.
These two people living
so very far apart, with the Great Spirit's help, by chance met and began
to communicate, sending messages back and forth to each other. Soon a friendship
developed. Two very lonely people life had not been kind to, decided to
be kind to each other. In the spring of her 39th year, Illinois made the
long journey to Tennessee's village to meet him. He was very nervous and
had trouble with an allergic condition when she came to him. He was so
afraid she would not like him or that she would somehow be different than
she was in her letters and messages. He should not have been concerned.
She was as she had represented herself to be. They rode off together and
spent a glorious time together. They shared a meal and a lot of talk and
after they got to know each other better, they shared a bed.
It
was a grand and glorious time for the two lovers. Unfortunately, Illinois,
had to return home in a very short time and Tennessee's heart ached for
her. It wasn't long before he traveled to her village to see her again.
He spent five days in her arms and would have stayed even longer but had
an appointment to meet and trade with a brave from another land that he
thought would allow him to achieve wealth and thus be better able to take
care of Illinois, and her children as he truly wanted to.
Tennessee's meeting went
well and soon he had a new horse and was traveling the territory and trading
for the other brave. But the other "brave" was dishonest with Tennessee
and other problems arose, causing Tennessee to have to leave his village.
Illinois, being the kind wonderful woman she was, asked him to let
her help him. Asked him to move to her village and share her fire and her
bed. Tennessee was happy, so very happy, as there was nothing that he enjoyed
more than holding Illinois in his arms and making love to her. There was
the normal adjustments that two people have to make when they decide to
share the same fire, but all in all, much more was well with the two lovers
than was not.
They shared good times
and bad and were very much in love over the coming months. Making love
frequently as though they were young lovers.
Tennessee greatly missed his village and his people, though, and his mother
was very old and no longer able to care for herself. In his village, his
uncle and had died very soon after he had gotten in this condition. He
feared that his mother would succumb to such a fate as well, were she left
on her own. His heart was breaking at the thought of leaving his
Love, so far from him. If he did not, and his mother died, he would never
recover from the thought that it would have been his fault and he would
surely die, from this, too.
One night while thinking of all these thoughts, something went terribly wrong and Tennessee just snapped. He decided what he had to do was to return to his village and he picked a fight with Illinois because he was afraid that if he did not anger her at him, that he would lose his nerve and not be able to leave her. It was a very foolish thing to do, but it was what he did. And thus, he returned to his village and remains there now...
How does this story end?
Only the Great Spirit knows how this plays out..Illinois is in her village
and is not well, Tennessee is in his village and he is not well either...But
he never has stopped missing Illinois, nor has he ever stopped loving her
or wishing that he could hold her in his arms, if for only one last time
and let her know from his touch what he really does feel for her.....As
it is now, two people who were sad when they met, are sad once again, but
at least now, both people know that happiness is a possibility and that
with possibility, there is life and love..Happy Valentine's Day, Illinois.
Someone to the south, Loves you very much....
|
by "Tennessee" with Love and Admiration for "Illinois" on February 14, 2001 |