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(insert music the shower scene of Psycho here)
Welcome to the threshold of my world(you're almost inside). This
incredibly boring page is
the only entrance to my world. It allows me to present my disclaimer and
tell you what software you need to view my pages.
Basically, you will need a frames compatible, Java compatible browser. I
suggest the latest version of
user.
These pages are optimized to run at a minimum
resolution of 800X600, at a bit depth of 16 or greater. These
pages work best on a 28.8kbps or greater connection, and may be slow
and boring on anything less. These page look best on a Macintosh, due to it's excellent color
correction.
DISCLAIMER: ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!(and of your own free will). Unless otheriwise stated, the content of these pages represents my own ideas, feelings, thoughts, insanity. You do not have to agree with them, as they are not yours. Some content may be found to be offensive, and some links may lead to offensive content. If you find something that offends you, don't look at it or follow the link to it. If you do look at it or follow the link, and it pisses you off, do not let me know about it, as I have given you fair warning, and will NOT change it anyway. I would prefer that all viewers of these pages be eighteen years or older, though it is not required. I take no responsibilty for material that may be offensive to minors, as censorship begins at the home. Do not try to censor me because you cannot control your children. Also, if you are a member of the RSR(you know who you are, and how the hell did you manage to use a computer?!?), it is extremely illegal for you to view these pages. If any member of the RSR feels compelled to view them anyway, it will be hunted down and shot with clam chowder like it deserves. Batteries are NOT included, keep a barf-bag handy, don't feed the animals, keep your hands and feet on the outside of your monitor at all times, take only memories and leave only log files, don't yell at the computer, friends don't let friends net-surf sober, watch for migrating coconuts, beware of sour grapes, don't eat yellow snow, don't wiz on the electric fence, this side up, safety button pops up when the seal is broken, MEAN PEOPLE SUCK, nice people swallow, "gulping is not a sin*," stays crispy in milk, lather, rinse, repeat, there is, in fact, no cheese at all, SPAM, African swallows are NOT migratory, fire door: keep closed, don't fold, spindle, or mutilate, "kill your enemies, kill your friend's enemies, kill your friends*," death to yellow shirts, the parrot is definitely dead, and remember that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you.
Enjoy.
Now that that is out of the way, feel free to explore my insanity.
*Trademark Bungie Software
*Trademark Fruitopia
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