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Van Over For Dictator 2000
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From the twisted shuffleboard section of Crystal River, 25 and 3/8 inches of the largest arms in the world, attached to the man that last night took such liberties with your mother, that he is now recognized as your father in 17 states, the gargantuan known as Big Van Over!
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With these following words I Van Over of Crystal River Florida announce officially my campaign to be YOUR dictator for 2000. My Platform will simple. You will follow me, worship me and secretly hate me as for I shall change everything you have ever known.
I am for a more simplified ruling class. ME. I am the only one who will make decisions, I am the only one who will take the credit, and it will be my advisors who get executed when there is a mistake made.
Now I need you. Namely your vote. while I am the one who will dictate you unmercifully as my administration plots the overthrow of Canada and South America, we will give you scarce supplies and scarce pay for factory work that will strengthen our Army and pretty much ruin your life.
We will take you wives and daughters and sisters and adopt them as our own personal indentured servants and concubines. Your mothers will serve as the token peasant women that litter the streets cursing at us for stealing their families and lives. And the men will be recruited into the Army Of Van Over Republic United. Any child younger than 15 will be in the Jr. Corps, they will lead us into the future!
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Free Health Care
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You heard me right! Free Health Care!
Simple solution to our health care problem. If you get sick, we shoot you.
If you get pregnant and you are attractive and we feel you can give to our society a healthy child, you will be given the greatest of care.
If you are pregnant and you are a disgusting bile ooze of humanity that we know shouldnt exist in the public eye, we will form a "UC" (Ugly Collective) in what is now know as South America, and you will be sent there safe from public view with your other uglies.
Together with your vote we can make our country more beautiful for years and years to come!!!!!
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My Campaign to be YOUR dictator
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In the coming days you will hear from many men who want you to think their vision is correct. Many are womanizers who are afraid to admit it, or do illicet activities and deny it. I am not ashamed of the womanizing or illicet activities I have been involved with. I WILL NOT RUN FROM THE TRUTH THAT IS KNOW AS STD's!!!!!
I am the breath of honosty you need.
I am the Dictator for a new America. Vote me you dictator in 2000, and I guarentee you that things will change....
And I will finish here by stating my campaign's platform:
Panties aren't the best thing in the world, but they're right next to it!
VAN OVER DICTATOR 2000:
Give Us Your Family, We will Give You Poverty!
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