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The history of Bob the Rockmaster
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Bob the Rockmaster is entirely obsessed with Peavey Products. So much, in fact, that he works at a music store called Axe Music just so he can sell Peavey Products. Bob is sicker and more insane than we thought possible. Bob now has moved out of his wife's home to live at Axe Music. Bob's living at Axe music lasted for about 4 months when he decided to move back home with his wife. Bob had changed. Bob now sleeps on the same Peavey P.A. cabinet that he slept on at Axe Music. For pillows, Bob uses a couple of Peavey shirts stiched up and filled with polyfill. For a blanket, Bob uses a couple of Peavey cloth promotional poster sewn together. Bob has even gone so far as to use these same promotional posters as shower curtains, curtains for all the windows of his house, table cloths, and throw down carpets. Bob even wears a pair of pants made enitierly out of these cloth promo posters. | THE FATED HISTORY OF BOB THE ROCKMASTER Bob wasn't always like this. At one time he was like me and you. He was a rocker and a rebel. He was a 1980's, zoot suit wearing, cigarette smoking, chick magnet, rockmaster. The decade was big for Bob. With his band, he played in the biggest clubs with the biggest names. He even had a personal manager who would get the band gigs and airplay on the local radio station. Bob had his selection from any woman in the bar or concert hall. Bob became know as the Rockmaster The 80's ended and so did Bob's career. Bob and his group were older and none the more wiser. Bob was still working at MR. Entertainment. A job Bob thought was only going to be a temporary gig. Bob continued to wear the zoot suits and the 80's pink dress shirts whereever he would go or gig. Bob's group could no longer get the big gigs with the big money, so Bob became the Fuckmaster and just had sex with as many bar flies as he could. Axe Music opened and Bob felt that was his best place to be. He could work in a larger store, pick up single prostitues on a 118th ave , and get bcak into the booming and banging music scene. Bob's girlfriend, a local prostitute by the name of Candy Cane got sick of Bob's shit, so she left Bob. Something clicked inside of Bob's brain. Maybe it was the dose he caught at the Cromdale. Who knows? Bob became obsessed with Peavey products. So obsessed that he lost all real concepts of reality. Bob knew that his Peavey DPM keyboard was the only thing that remained constant throughout his career. Bob became even more obsesses and diluted thinking that this keyboard was even better than the latest model of Korg or Roland Bob got married and life seemed to be full of normality. Bob insisted that the church organist played not the $50,000 pipe organ from Germany but his old Peavey DPM keybaord at his wedding. The wedding march had to be redone 5 times because Bob's DPM kep on looking up and fucking up. At the reception, Bob even made a toast to his keyboard. Bob even danced with his keyboard for the first dance of the night. I wonder what else Bob did with the keyboard? When Bob returned home with his new wife, Bob redecorated their home with Peavey paraphinalia that he bought from Peavey or had made for him with the Peavey logo. Bob started to get phone calls by his old bandmember Dickweed Chata (gig name) who insisted to Bob that one of his old customers had links to aliens. At first Bob thought this was bullshit, but then Bob started to believe his old guitarist. Why? The guitarist had some proof. Bob went over to Dickweed's slummy apartment on 118th ave by the Cromdale. There Dickweed showed Bob a bunch of old Peavey components that had been modded with wierd circuits and unknown green computer chips that ran at an excess of 10000 KHZ, so Dickweed claimed. Dickweed also claimed that this target has connections of the E.T. kind and that both of them could be rich if they got enough of this alien technology to Dickweed's boss (The person in the picture to the right) only known as Unknown. Bob agreed and they began to work together. __________WHERE IS BOB NOW?_____________ Unknown location. No one really knows. One day Bob walked into Axe Music and told his boss to go fuck himself and that he was going to pursue other interests. No one has seen Bob since. If you have any new information about Bob or if you have any comments, email them to [email protected]
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A Tapped Phone Conversation between Bob and "Unknown"
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Here is a secret message tapped and recorded from Bob's home | phone line... ******************************************************************** Bob-yeah I know he hasn't been to the store in a while. Damn him. If I could only sell him another keyboard for 2700 bucks again, I'd make my Christmas Quota. Unknown-You better find some way Bob, or else we'll have to kick you out of your secret pad at Axe. I know how much you love sleeping on that Peavey speaker cab. Bob-Don't get sarcastic with me. I do love Peavey, but now my back is really sore. I am just tired. Unknown-Think of the big picture dummy. We know he has links. You know the ET kind. Think of the money we could make. Bob-Yeah I know. I have to pay for those fuckin' kids that aren't even mine. And now I am living in a goddamn storage room cause she kicked me out. I want contact with the Aliens as much as you do. I just need time. Unknown-Time is all we really don't have. Listen, just fuckin' listen. Get him down to Axe, so we can make a sale of one of those keyboards. Then the Aliens will take that technology. Then we have them. Bob-I'll sell him that old Peavey keyboard. Unknown-No! you dickweed. He hates Peavey. Quit trying to push that garbage. Sell him something actually good for a change. Bob-I'll sell the Peavey DPM for $600. Unknown- No, I said. Fuck Bob. Do you want to sell shit the rest of your life and pay for kids that aren't even yours?! Bob-No. Unknown-GOOD! Just do what I say and a year from now, we'll be sitting in some mansion on a Mexican beach. O.K.? Bob-Yeah O.K.. I gotta go. There's a call on line one. Unknown-fine, bye. ****************************************************************** Check the link. Its good.
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Bob
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Peavey yeah!! I'll sell you a Peavey DPM for $2700. So the bad boys are back. ************************************ A real experience submitted my a visitor of Bob's ____________________ _________________________ _____ I met Bob while he was working at AXE Music. I went there to see what Drum Machine Samplers AXE Music had. This tall thin guy with really short hair comes up to me and starts showing me drum machines in the keyboard room. We get talking and I tell him that my band is looking for a keyboard player. Bob say's that he plays keyboard and wants to try and make it big again. We agree to meet after work. When we did, Bob invited me over to his place. When I get there I can't believe my eyes. He doesn't have any real good keyboard, just an old Peavey DPM 3. I don't care for Peavey keyboards too much but what the hell. I'm open. Bob says his keyboard stand is stored in his bedroon closet and that he needs help getting it out. "Fine," I say. Well we go into his bedroom and the first thing I notice is that Bob's bed is not a real bed but some old peice of crap Peavey P.A. speaker from the mid 1970's with pillows and a blanket on it. I asked Bob about this and he just said he really likes Peavey. I asked him if he really sleeps on this PA cab and Bob says, "Yes!" The blanket isn't a store bought blanket but two of those Peavey promotional cloth poster sewed together. On the walls of his bedroom he has pictures of DPM keyboards that he has cut from magazines and put behind glass. A little while later, Bob and I practice some music and then start talking. Bob informs me that he was kicked out of his place by his wife because he was so obsessed by Peavey and would stop talking about it. She finally let Bob come home since he was making so much in commissions from AXE Music. I had to leave and I just wanted to get the hell out of Bob's place. I never did phone him again since my band was able to find a real keyboardist with a real keyboard from Roland. Right now my band "The Leeks" are touring The United Kingdom" and being paid very well. If Bob wasn't such a freak, he could have been a part of this Rock n' Roll tour. I am not sure who runs this page. If it is you Bob, then you should get some help. If not, then why waste your time on Bob?? Gregg Harbouy:::Guitarist for "The Leeks" Reviews of Peavey Gear Reviewer Paul Sikivie Manufacturer Peavey Model 80's Foundation Price list around $400, retail around $250-$300-ish Neck Type bolt-on, probably maple, J-style Fingerboard fretted rosewood Body Type alder or poplar? Finish black Pickup(s) two big 'Super-Ferrite' J's Controls 2 pu volumes, 1 tone First of all, I hate Peavey. Their amps suck. Their guitars _really_ suck. And their basses suck. That said, I love this bass. It was made in the USA. It's pretty heavy. The action is great, and it doesn't buzz until you dig in. The neck comfortable, and everything is worn in (there are paint chips everywhere from all the punkness my baby has been exposed to). The frets are seated as well as is necessary (I'm not too anal). There're only two gripes I have with this bass. One is that the tone could be better. It's just not the BEST sound you could get out of a modern J-setup. The other is image. Yes, I know, you're not supposed to care about image. But nothing beats seeing another bassist admire your gear. At least I'm honest! Topic: I HATE TRANSFEX PRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (1 of 5), Read 106 times Conf: Guitar Amps and Enclosures From: Chris Senter [email protected] Date: Wednesday, December 29, 1999 11:26 AM OK, its the last straw this head has given me nothing but trouble and I'm tired of pouring money into it. It fries speakers, it makes weird noises, and worst of all it cuts off for no reason "not a very good feature when your trying to perform". It over drives my peavey BW 15" on volume level 2"I didn't think that was possible".Then there is that patch change glitch.Personally I'm ready to toss the whole rig.It just really pisses me off that I put that much money in it and it still screws up.YOu can only look over so much when it comes to your sound!Anyway thats enough ranting and raving. So now I have to find a new amp and let peavey steal more of my money"I know what your thinkin","don't go with peavey then"well I wouldn't but I haven't the cash to buy a Mesa/Boogie or a decent Marshall. Anyway what I'm gettin at is What do all you metal heads out there recommend.Something with a really fat bottom end. And I know somebody is gonna say 5150, but I've heard they have a really glassy sound. And also can you give the approximate price of your suggestion.PLEASE HELP!!!!!!I'm very frusterated.Thanks in advance for your suggestions. COMMENTS ABOUT BOB TOP | Post | Reply | Reply/Quote | Email Reply | Delete | Edit Previous | Next | Previous Topic | Next Topic | Entire Topic Topic: What do you think about The Biggest Fan Website? (1 of 4), Read 29 times Conf: Guitar Amps and Enclosures From: ClassicJoe [email protected] Date: Saturday, September 02, 2000 11:20 AM This is a website that I found on the world wide web. I am curious. What do you think of this website? http://www.fortunecity.com/tinpan/radiohead/1364/ Post what you think below. Joe TOP | Post | Reply | Reply/Quote | Email Reply | Delete | Edit Previous | Next | Previous Topic | Next Topic | Entire Topic Topic: What do you think about The Biggest Fan Website? (2 of 4), Read 23 times Conf: Guitar Amps and Enclosures From: Crosscut [email protected] Date: Saturday, September 02, 2000 04:02 PM Pointless. Either a bad put-on or a truly sick individual. Really, people, don't go. It's not even gross or sexy, just stupid. TOP | Post | Reply | Reply/Quote | Email Reply | Delete | Edit Previous | Next | Previous Topic | Next Topic | Entire Topic Topic: What do you think about The Biggest Fan Website? (3 of 4), Read 20 times Conf: Guitar Amps and Enclosures From: luckymike [email protected] Date: Saturday, September 02, 2000 04:27 PM I feel like we've seen this same site and this same question before. Did you really post that Joe, or is somebody hacking nicknames to post stupid stuff like this and the mother's cats crud. Michael Post | Reply | Reply/Quote | Email Reply | Delete | Edit Previous | Next | Previous Topic | Next Topic | Entire Topic Topic: What do you think about The Biggest Fan Website? (4 of 4), Read 1 times Conf: Guitar Amps and Enclosures From: ClassicJoe [email protected] Date: Sunday, September 03, 2000 02:00 AM I just found this place when I put in a search for the rockmaster preamp. It looked funny enough so I posted it. Joe VISIT THE LINKS BELOW FOR FREE PICTURES AND FREE MUSIC.
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