Welcome to The Back Nine on the Fairways of Hell's Golf Course

Hey. Mi llamo Evil. Evil the Kat. Though to some I have other names, to you, I'm Evil, or the Idiot What Built This Shit, which ever you prefer... Anyway, welcome to my "home" on the web, such as it is. As you can see, it's a rather spartan site, but that's has something to do with my utter lack of HTML experince. Basically I know enough to be able to link shit and change font colors. Creepy, huh? I started building the beast in the spring of 1998 as a place to house my recently compiled though slightly incomplete list of Fifty Things To Do At Wal-Mart When You're Bored. Well, after many long months of hard work, countless hours of scrutinizing tests, and endless debating (read: sleep), I have finally produced a List of sheer and utmost quality (read: crap that I find funny), meaning that actually going out and doing a good half of the things on it will get you arrested or thrown in a mental ward, possibly a combination of both! What fun! However, I am faced with another Problem - what to do with 20 megs of webspace, since the site itself took a mere 50k. Hmmm.... That's a problem, alright. But... as always... I have a SOLUTION (and yes, you DO get to sit here whilst I speak on the matter. There is no other way...) and what's better, it WORKS!

First I'm going to do more humor-related stuff on the site. After all, thats why I built it in the first place right? Got to do more humor-type stuff. Just GOT to. Second, since I am in the GAMING district of FortuneCity, I'm thinking an actual game-related site might be nice, so I'm going to post my own peculiar version of a Castlevania: SotN walkthrough called An Object Lesson in Speed --OR-- Killing Dracula In An Hour and Thirty Minutes Made Simple. The walkthrough would be up already, but unfortunately it died before I could upload it to FortuneCity's server, so I get to do it all over AGAIN. JOY. I also INTEND to do an update site for Final Fantasy VIII, once I finally figure out what the hell is going on with it. The site will have all the neat download shit I can lay hands on too, so never you fear, you Squaresoft otaku, you, your cravings shall be met. As for other things that those of you out THERE would like to see done with the site, well, send me an email at [email protected], and I'll see what I can do.

Many of you... Okay, previous visitors... no, still not right... Hmm... TWO of you might have been here before. For those maybe five that have, you'll notice that my site has indeed changed somewhat. For example: this rant. Where all this useless bullshit now stands there used to be the List, Fifty Things To Do At Wal-Mart When You're Bored. But since I re-vamped the list, I figured I might as well redo the page set-up too. Fear not, the list is STILL here (and finally COMPLETE) and can be gotten to by clicking here, for those of you impatient types what can't wait 'till the bottom of the page. Also, to help keep all four of my previous visitors informed on what's going on with my site, insofar as new shit is concerned, I have it all under control. There's now a news page called (appropriately enough) "New Shit", located right about here in your browser window. How's THAT for convienience, eh?

Well, cheerio, I'm off to do more relatively thankless HTML work so you'll have something to look at with your spare time here.

-Evil the Kat

Tasty Little Site Portions!

This is that Links section I mentioned earlier in the page, bikkhu. You can get to the other areas of my little on-line burn-out trailer park by clicking on the pretty little blue-green things down there. Neat, eh?

Fifty Things To Do In Wal-Mart When You're Bored - The List. Obviously.

New Shit - Site news. Got a question, look here. I might just have an answer.

The Kat Hisself - Stuff about me and some of that funky link action.

DGBT - What is a DGBT you ask? Go here for fun stories about the alcohol-fueled mayhem that ensues herein.

Linkage Action - For those of you seeking an alternative to the back button, I got a couple sites you MIGHT like.

Clan Turks - The Website for my Clan on the Ten Towers, best fuckin' mud anywheres.

That's all there is for now. Go home already!

But first...

Sign the Guestbook. Or I shall do something VERY unpleasant to you.

--OR--

Drop the Kat a Line at: [email protected]

Feel free to praise, cuss at, bother, heckle, suggest to, or congratulate the Kat. He likes mail and if its valid, he'll respond.

See ya later.