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Southern California Underground Magazine
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S.C.U.M. - We have hair!
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We desire to serve our master: Lord Inkjet Color Printer. For He has the power to print 10 pages of color a minute.
We do not lie. If we did he would print a picture of us as naked babies and give them to Duke Color Scanner to post on the internet. He resides in Illinois. NOTE: We lied about Illinois.
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Updates Coming Soon: Batteries Sold Seperatly
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We want the best site large guns can buy. So don't get in our way. Give us ideas or say "Goodbye Mister Big Toe!" Stuff to happen here.
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A Breif Look at S.C.U.M.
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This is what is in S.C.U.M.:
Vomit is "What Comes Back." We set aside a few pages for you. So it seems like your magazine, when, in reality, it is OUR magazine (note: not yours).
Tidings:
News from around Southern California.
Spots:
Places to go; People to see; Buildings to burn.
Dr. Love:
If you're in a troublesome relationship, you can get your answers questioned.
Archives:
Photos sent in by our highly trained photographers (note: they are highly trained in the art of eating pizza.).
Noise (sound of explosion):
All the music we listen to gets graded.
Cute and Cuddly:
Preventing angry mothers.
Fun in the Sun:
Our talented crew screws off on the streets and gets in trouble with the shirrifs.
Features:
Learn about lobotomy.
=)
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