Clickalicious 4.2

THE ....come on...say it...RAMBLINGS!!

Friday, January 23, 2004

The Weekend's Coming!!!

And you know what that means?

WORK!

Yes, I have to work, kiddies.

I have three essays, one research paper, a full portfolio, and an addition to the website to work on in those 2 little days.

And I'm a hardcore procrastinator!

I'm dead. Really. No sleep-all-day weekend for me. Damn.

[Listening to: Wanted - Vanessa Carlton - Be Not Nobody (04:02)]

¶ 3:26 AM

Sunday, January 11, 2004

I'm supposed to be doing a drawing for some kind of art contest...but I'm not.

I'm rendered motionless by the shear volume of my boredom.

... .......anyway O.o

Let's talk of about my debate trip on Saturday! Nothing but yaytivity going on there. Our teams won some rounds and loss some rounds and by the end of the day, around the 4th round- it lasted until 5:20, the effects of the vast amounts of sugar was beginning to show.

I didn't debate, I observed...

4th round I'm watching...

RJ and casey debating

ok..here it is...with RHYME!!

"The noon of debatus"

It was late in the noon

and judge was a toon

He drew doodles of fish

And wrote "Bush likes Dick"

The opposition was tough

Well only one really, rough.

He spoke like a train

And left our ears with strain

Casey was our hope

While RJ was a dope

But our fate was fast sealed

For the One was like , deal

Our ocean plan croaked

As the One stood up and spoke

Of nuclear annilhation

And Cheney being Satan

The Other was stoned

But he still stood his own

And our team despite

Knew it was good night

But though they saw defeat

They managed a great feat

They gave them a run

and still had great fun

with innuedos and jokes

they still were quite stoked

And Judge David, well kids

He's not for the ...kids

His innocence long gone

He twas the very worst one

He spoke of his of his latino hips

And his father assumptions

Of Fish eating Poo

Of x-rated refereneces too

And on to the bus ride

before which I tried to hitch and ride

with others I knew not of

And they knew not of me

Finally I boarded my bus

And we made such a fuss

talk of someone boarding buses and freaking the students,( not me..really ;))

And the how our rounds- which were long freaking long-went

And on the road agian, which we probably did sing

we were hyper and foolish and very annoying

we were joking and laughing and teasing the teachers

Who teased us back but funnier and meaner

Another lessons was taught on that hyperactive journey

Never tease and person with a degree in Psychology

So hyper overall we ate at Ryans

And scared many costomers

who thought us quite stoned...or drunk or whatever

So onto the bus we went full and still crazy

But what a smell was made by RJ the lazy

Every song was sung and quite of off key

While Randall sought to jump on Shelton like a monkey

Oh the tales that Mrs. Doolittle has over me now

And hopefully the all wasn't taped by the camera upon the bus on that hour

I so don't want to go to GA Southern next week now. There's a debate trip with "potential" on the same day. Last year at that debate, ppl had a horn from Australia, one of those ones from the recalla commericals and some wore capes! Capes! Not the oh-so-fake-superman-batman capes, but real vamprish capes. So cool! *snarf* Even the ppl going aren't as fun. They're not weirdos like the debaters, or like Randall's shirt said "MAss Debaters"- only him...only him.

Snarf ya later! ¶ 5:25 PM

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Hi there. I was recenlty in the AUG....okay Augusta, at the mall. Geez that mall is torture on the feet, but the guys are great on the eyes *innocent smile*. ANyways, I'd just like to state right now that I love the "new clothes" smell. The "new clothes smell" you say. Yes the "new clothes smell. AT this point you are probably thinking that the only reason I like that "new clothes smell" is because it's strong enough to get you high. Fucking yeah! *innocence*...righhhtttt.
So I bought some new sweaters at JC Penny-Snatchers and after they bagged them....I huffed. I huffed ..off of sweaters. Snarf!

It's

sooo

good!

If you don't like it , bah to you!

*** parts of this story may or may not be true....mainly that huffing sweaters will get you high..dork!

[Listening to: I Want to Hear You Sad - Early November - For All of This (03:24)]

¶ 12:09 PM

Thursday, December 25, 2003

It's incredible; I have this feeling that I

don't know where it's coming from, an

incredible sense of sadness.

Or loneliness

or both. Probably both.

I feel like throwing myself in front a bus...at

least then I'd get some attention. Bah.

What I'm really looking for is physical

affection : hugs, kisses, etc. Something that I

haven't gotten in years. It's really sad

actually. I haven't a real hug in years. My

last "hug" was staged, in a scene in my acting

class. SO..yeah. I totally feel inadequate by

this, among other factors.

I never have been kissed. Truly. I've probably

been hugged like 10-15 times over my 18 years,

9-10 of the hugs being "for show". I just want

someone ther for me who isn't a fraid to touch

me. I won't break, I won't bite. I'm not

contagious. I don't have a diease. Sheesh!

WHy are so many people turned off by me. I'm

fat, smart, artistic,and honest. I'm like a

friggin teddy bear..with an attitude! I'm a bit

arrogant when it comes to certain things. I'm

friendly and nice though. Well, not overly, but

enough.

Do people just see the silent desparation

behind my actions. The neediness. Probably not.

MOst people just think I'm an ass. Nobody

bothers to care or, God forbid,know me. No one

knows me. Some claim they "know me" But they

really don't. How can you "know" me if you

don't talk to me or associate with me outside

of an institutional setting?! THIS is why I am

so bitter. You see?! I sit here at home , all

alone except for my cat and my brother, none

whom wish anything to do with me, and I think.

I hate thinking. It sucks major assage. I just

wish I knew how to get rid of this thinking

thing. ANy suggestions?

And heres my major issue, Why does everyone

want nothing to do with me?
I'd really lke to know. What the hell the I do?

Did I assasinate Barney or something. The

reason I use Barney is becuase no one has

wanted anything to do with me since *hand

gesture*"yay high".
I mean, I've been friendless since

kindergarten. No one wanted to be around

me..ever. Or atleast no one wanted to be around

me, around other people. Or ever.
I hate my life, full of loneliness, betrayal ,

loneliness, envy, loneliness, anger and did I

mention loneliness? I think I did.
I just wish I had someone to share my time with.
Someone to talk to. To communicate with. On my

level. Not immature people who hate because of

intelligence, talent or "just because".

I did mention I hate the holidays? Does it

show?

Postscript...
I don't know what to do when I get back to

school. I'm thinking about just to stop talking to

everyone else. Just look at them like they're

crazy. You know alienate myself even more.

Yeah, it's all good...

[Listening to: Christmas Time - Christina Aguilera - My Kind Of Christmas (04:02)]

¶ 2:36 PM

Monday, December 22, 2003

Gosh , I.. miss...last year? I miss last year. Mostly I simply miss some people from last year. Like Thomas,Ryan, Cindy, etc. They were fun. Oh and Caleb, he was cool. They gone now. Now it's boring. Bah! I really miss seeing Ryan, i guess you could say I had a small crush on him. He was...a little cool, maybe. He was also hot so ...yeah. Anyways I was just thinking about stuff like that. Hope everyone's enjoying themselves. Pathetic Attempt At Picking The Lock In THe Vid Production Room

Pathetic Attempt At Picking The Lock In THe Vid Production Room

AH , the simple life.
P.S. I heard Ryan was gay, *laughs hysterically*

[Listening to: Finding Me - Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want (04:32)]

¶ 10:09 AM

Sunday, December 21, 2003

Out here you have

. There's no escaping it. Well, you could not have friends, like me, be it's a drag. This is the country...

coun try
(kntr) n. pl. coun tries - land with trees and shit.

...so hicks..

hick
(hic) n. pl. hicks - crazy people from the land of the real trees.

...are bound to be in encountered. Now I have nothing against hicks...just people in general. That's why I don't have hick friends, because of me hating humanity and all, it's just too awkward.

Lata. ¶ 10:14 PM

I ...need a guy, sooo badly.

[..yes it that time again kids, it's let's-hear-me-bitch-about-not having-a-boyfriend time!]

I'm sitting here dreaming, I mean really dreaming- REM sleep, narcalyptic sleeping folks. Anyway, I'm dreaming, and it's about my nonexistent boyfriend...yeah, Bob. Anyway, he's great. when I say great I mean not perfect. Plenty of faults. I like faults. Faults are good. So I'm dreaming about...Bob..and we're having an awesome time at the park. Yes there's a park, even though I hate nature. Well not nature, but just the whole small town thing, anyway- I we're having fun and laughing our asses off. I had my skateboard and I fell off agian. Yeah, how about that, something that happens in real life too, busting my ass. So Bob and I, are laughing and..and..I WAKE UP TO THIS UGLY SIGHT- FAMILY!!! Yes family...er..relatives...genetic mutants of my precious geneotype. They had to ruin my dream fun. It sucks.

Well, this piece of irreversable scarring ...stuff , illustrates my point, I need a boyfriend

Lata.

[Listening to: Track 14 - - Exclusive Tremor Crew CD Volume 1 (03:08)]

¶ 8:41 PM

Great New layout ! Cheery, huh? Well I think it is. Anyways I'll talk to ya lata. My relatives want phone usage. Lata. ¶ 4:11 PM

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Yayness, it's me birthday..agrr.

As usually my egg-donor forgot my birthday for the 3rd year. She calls me form work to wish me a happy, but I hung up superbitch. I know it was one of her coworkers who told her. I told them.

So I'm 18..back to the yayness. I can......

............................

.............................

..do nothing. What a RIP! The only I can do is buy cigarettes, and why would I want buy something to have an odor to can split a crowd?!

I so hate birthdays.....
.........<+> <+> .....who wants cake?
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================== ¶ 11:29 AM

Weird things that ramble and make no sense ...aka my thoughts