This Little Masochist

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0><script> (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); ga('create', 'UA-47423994-1', 'fortunecity.ws'); ga('send', 'pageview'); </script> <center> <br> <div> <script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://ad.broadcaststation.net/ads/show_ad.php?width=728&height=90"></script> </div> </center> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" height=95 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF" bgproperties="fixed" background="080005f0dvldtc.gif"> <div> <I><B>This Little Masochist</B></I></div> <div>                 <IMG SRC="16414180.gif" border=0 width="532" height="24" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=385 BGCOLOR="#C0C0C0" TEXT="#080000" background="16b40403.jpg"> <div> <I><B>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</B></I></div> <div> <I>No one's picking up the phone... Guess it's me and me ~ </I></div> <div> <I>and this little masochist.....she's ready to confess all the things.. </I></div> <div> <I>that I never thought she could feel......</I></div> <div> <I>Hey Jupiter ~ Tori Amos</I></div> <bR> <div> <I><IMG SRC="17664260.gif" border=0 width="612" height="38" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></I></div> <div> The greatest tragedy in life is not death....</div> <div> It is the parts of us that die while we are still living......</div> <div> <IMG SRC="17664260.gif" border=0 width="612" height="38" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> Welcome to my pathetic little web site. It's not meant to be pretty and entertaining, you will find no answers, and it won't change your life. Perhaps though, it will give you a better understanding as to why I am the way that I am.  Everything you read is real.  If you can't handle that, I suggest you quickly go to one of the teen-pop-bubble-gum sites and wallow in the splendor that is one-dimensionalness. Some poems are about friends of mine, but for the most part, they are about me and what I have gone through.  Most are about rape, abuse, eating disorders, self-injury, drugs and suicide.   In no way am I condoning these acts, but like I said ~ this site is real. I tend to not sugarcoat my thoughts just so they will be acceptable to the masses. Besides, if you are visiting this site, chances are that you are just as messed up as I am, or know someone who is.</div> <div>    <IMG SRC="1f287950.jpg" border=0 width="135" height="149" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> My father told me that I was a quick f*ck.  </div> <div> Hurts to know your nothing but a meaningless splash of pleasure </div> <div> and a child support check.</div> <div> ~ Ryan Mathes</div> <div> (fellow fumbler)</div> <div> <IMG SRC="249e5250.gif" border=0 width="485" height="37" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About Me"><U>About Me</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="My Hobbies"><U>My Hobbies</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id116.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Photo Album"><U>Photo Album</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id110.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="My Poems"><U>My Poems</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id137.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" Quotes From Poems"><U> Quotes From Poems</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id138.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Lyric Quotes"><U>Lyric Quotes</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id109.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact Me"><U>Contact Me</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id108.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Favorite Links"><U>Favorite Links</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id107.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Guestbook"><U>Guestbook</U></A></div> <div> <IMG SRC="24be5250.gif" border=0 width="485" height="37" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> "Life before, I would shine down unshy, </div> <div> I want to be much than more, while I watch you......"</div> <div> ~ Deftones</div> <div> <IMG SRC="17664260.gif" border=0 width="612" height="38" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <IMG SRC="239afdd0.jpg" border=0 width="175" height="221" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div>  *<FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Comic Sans MS" >A</FONT>ll poems and  personal quotes on this site are copywritten year 2000 with the </div> <div> United States Copywrite Office. All rights reserved. In other words.. keep your hands off of my poems and quotes.... and if you want to borrow something, please ask first.</div> <div> <IMG SRC="1656c0b0.gif" border=0 width="620" height="11" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> Have you ever been so angry with yourself that the only logical solution you can see is for</div> <div> you to cut yourself with a razorblade over and over, until you've made a huge bloody mess?</div> <div> Well, I wish I never did.  Six years later, and I'm still doing it.</div> <div> <IMG SRC="1656c0b0.gif" border=0 width="620" height="11" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> </td> </tr></table></body>