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Dried Footwear Remnants
Here are a few extras that didn't really fit in anywhere else; chiropodaic rogues that don't belong on a page of their own.
List of sections: allegedly taken from The Zappa Affair booklet, these are thought to divide into three lots of seven between the movements. As to where the parts begin and end, try it yourself - it's a quiz. As a prize, I'll let you eat your socks. All five of them.
The entire Zappa Affair was broadcast on radio, with Zappa's permission, and apparently also videotaped (one camera) which he was VERY angry about. I haven't heard anything else about this video, and can only conclude that it was nabbed before any copies could be made.
- 1: Jake Who Designs It
- 2: Somewhere in New Jersey Where They Make Them
- 3: Illegal Aliens on a Lunch Break
- 4: At the Catering Truck
- 5: Jake Eats a Molded Jello Salad
- 6: Jake's Secretary
- 7: Illegal Aliens Work Slower in the Afternoon
- 8: Jake's Secretary Reads Her Magazine
- 9: Illegal Aliens Want to Go Home
- 10: Jake's Secretary Eats Cottage Cheese
- 11: Ugly Shoes on the Assembly Line
- 12: What You Think You Look Like When You're Wearing Them
- 13: Sometimes They Make You Walk Funny
- 14: Other People Pretend Not to Notice
- 15: Sometimes You Have to Take Them Off for a Minute
- 16: Then You Put Them Back On Because You Think They Look So Good on You
- 17: Children Can Also Have Ugly Shoes
- 18: The Foot Doctor Says You Might Need an Operation
- 19: But You're Going to Wear Them Anyway
- 20: Everybody Has a Pair Somewhere
- 21: A Place You Can Go When You've Got Them On
Quote from Bob Rice on affz: 25/02/1997
"Somewhere in the vault is a Synclavier version of the 1st movement. I know because I spent the better part of a month typing it in part by part from the conductors score into the computer for Frank. He subsequently reorchestrated it with wacky instrumentation but the bulk of the harmony and percussion arrangement was as written with samples. I remember him being pleased at finally getting to hear the polyrhythms played correctly. Scary piece of music. I would hope it found its way onto some multitrack tape. Talk about a black page!"
From the David Ocker Internet Interview:-
"There was a discussion of a piece called C INSTRUMENTS. That was a guitar solo that Steve Vai had transcribed and Frank gave it to me to make a copy for people (including myself) to play - so I had to make two versions: one in the key of C (for everyone else) and one in Bb for me. Usually there are three bits of information on the top of a piece of music a) the intended instruments - in this case "C Instruments" or "Bb" since lots of different instruments would be attempting it, b) the title - there was none so this was blank, and c) the composer - F.Z. When the music got passed around no one knew what to call it - and they mistook "C Instruments" for the title.
In effect for a short period of time I had named this piece. Later, reason prevailed, and Frank made it part of Sinister Footwear."
"About the funny titles (and I love Franks titles). I think the average non-Zappa-fan orchestra audience member will turn off to most of Frank's orchestra music just from hearing the title alone. Certainly they will after reading about the scenarios Frank put on them:
SINISTER FOOTWEAR has "Illegal Aliens Just Want To Go Home" as I remember and other stuff like that - Can you imagine that people who pay $45 or $50 per seat for a symphony concert would appreciate being reminded of Prop 187 during the concert? I don't wonder how *they* voted on 187. But I do wonder if their nannies have green cards."
"Eventually some of his [Zappa's] favorite chords got written down and categorized into what he called "the chord bible" - chords would get added to each note of a melody and the final result would be five to seven parallel voices with the melody on top. This was used for most of the large orchestra pieces I worked on. That's why Sinister Footwear has such huge wind sections - so he could have these thick chords played by individual instrumental colors."
There's actually a band called Sinister Footwear - from Europe, I think. Have a look at http://www.do.nl/footwear/info.htm
Notes & Comments on the YAWYI version are available at http://arf.kpbank.ru/Notes/Yawyi/sinf3.html
The edit points in the Jazz Noise version:
Sinister Footwear - Second Movement
- 0:00 - 0:36 May 25, Mannheim
- 0:36 - 1:47 May 3, Rotterdam
- 1:47 - 4:04 March 19, Allentown
- 4:04 - unknown February 10, Washington D.C.
- unknown - end March 19, Allentown
SF II was apparently played six times in 1988, at least 23 times in 1981, and at least 11 times in 1982. It was not played in 1984, and neither was it played at any time during the 19th Century.
There is a MIDI file, constructed by a VERY handsome young man, that can be found at the following site: http://rampages.onramp.net/~cheepnis/zappamid.html
Anagrams of 'The Sinister Footwear'
- Finite toaster shower.
- Weather-otter fission.
- Otherwise, infer toast.
- Tortoise wiener shaft. [My personal favourite]
Sinister Footwear intro page
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