Funnies


Last Updated (and constructed) on the 3rd of January, 2001

This page will contain, jokes, cartoons, funny pics, sounds and whatever else I find amusing.

Jokes:

 How do you make your girlfriend cry during sex?
Phone her.

What do you give a deaf, blind paraplegic child for Christmas?
Cancer.

What lies at the bottom of the oceanand twitches?
A nervous wreck.

What are you supposed to do during an orgy?
Fuck all.

A stockbroker parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a semi-trailer comes flying along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off. Distraught, the broker grabs his mobile and calls the cops. Five minutes later, the police arrive.Before the cop has a chance to ask any questions, the broker starts screaming hysterically:
"My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!"
After the stockbroker finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust.
"I can't believe how materialistic you bloody stockbrokers are," he says.
"You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life."
"How can you say such a thing at a time like this?" snaps the broker.
The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the truck hit you?"
The stockbroker looks down in absolute horror,
"Fucking Hell!" he screams,
"Where's my Rolex?"


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