Celebrity Fightmatch
Announcer: ...and now, what you've all been waiting for...Celebrity Fightmatch!
Two well dressed men stand up in the audience and start shouting. They appear to be yelling, "Ripoff!" and waving their arms. The announcer promptly pulls out a 160 mm rgl and levels section G-31 of the collisseum.
Announcer: I'm your host, Chibi Tomoe. Tonight is a great fight, folks!
At this seemingly simple phrase, the crowd goes wild.
Chibi Tomoe: *cough* In the left corner, we have the returning champion, Sailor Uranus!
The crowd cheers wildly.
Chibi Tomoe: In the right corner, we have the challenger, Cid Highwind!
The crowd goes wild, exept for one person, covered in an absurd amount of gold. Chibi Tomoe fumbles for his RGL and aims, firing a rocket at the woman. To his dismay, she gives it a good backhand swipe and it flies back at him.
Chibi Tomoe: Oh god.
Leaping from the announcer box right before it is reduced to smoldering ashes, Chibi Tomoe runs to the second one, across the collisseum.
Chibi Tomoe lifts his small body onto the announcer's chair.
Chibi Tomoe: Let's cut to the chase folks, let the fighting begin!
Cid and Haruka shake hands and take their positions.
Haruka: Are you sure you should be fighting, grandpa?
Cid: Shut the hell up you stupid bitch!
Haruka: Watch your mouth, I may have to rip it off.
Cid: Not before I make you kiss my ass!
Mills Lane steps in.
Lane: I want a good clean fight. Now lets get it on!
Cid pulls out his dragoon lance and points it at Haruka.
Cid: Come and get me, pansy.
Haruka: That's your role, dumbass.
With that she fires a World Shaking in Cid's direction.
Cid: HOLY CRAP!
The mighty world shaking blows off Cid's leg, and blood covers the audience, which in turn, goes wild.
Cid: YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!
Chibi Tomoe: That's gotta hurt!
Haruka: Ha! I've seen four year olds that can take a hit better than you!
Cid: YOU JUST BLEW OFF MY LEG!
Haruka: Take it like a man!
Cid: LIKE A MAN! MY LEG IS GONE!
Haruka: I've had worse.
Cid uses his spear as a crutch, and waddles backward. He pulls a walkie-talkie from his pocket and mumbles into it.
Cid: Now you're gonna get it!
Haruka(still in a casual posture): I'm sure.
A low rumble resonates from above the collisseum.
Cid: Tee hee hee...
Suddenly, the roof begins to shake violently. People start running for cover as giant sections of it start crashing down. A huge airship is revealed.
Haruka: Such childish toys...
Her face goes pale as all the missile bays along the sides of the ship open.
Cid: Scared Now?
Haruka: Not really.
Cid: Uh huh...well, in that case, I'll make you scared. Fi-
Chibi Tomoe: Um, Mr. Cid?
Cid: WHAT!?
Chibi Tomoe: I would appreciate it if you don't level the collisseum, really.
Cid points to the announcer box.
Cid: FIRE!
A rain of missles flies toword Chibi Tomoe, who scrambles on his little legs to get away. The box turns to rubble.
Chibi Tomoe: YOU @$$HOLE!
With one hand Haruka fires a world shaking at Chibi Tomoe, who is quickly turned to vapor.
The crowd, formerly frozen in fear, goes wild.
Haruka: Glad that's out of the way.
Cid: Really.
Haruka: Why are we fighting again?
Cid: Good question.
Haruka: I'm tired. I'm going home.
Cid: Could you drop me off at the hospital first?
Haruka: Sure.
And so stubs and Haruka leave and live happily ever until next tuesday, when public access brings you...
Celebrity Fightmatch!
