What Do They Actually Mean

Women's English:

Yes - No

No - Yes

Maybe - No

I'm sorry - You'll be sorry

We need - I want

It's your decision - The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want - You'll pay for this later

We need to talk - I need to complain

Sure go ahead - I don't want you to

I'm not upset - Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly - You need a shave and you sweat a lot

Be romantic, turn out the lights - I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient - I want a new house

I want new curtains - and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper

I heard a noise - I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? - I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? - I did something today you're going to hate

I'll be ready in a minute - Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

You have to learn to communicate - Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? - [Too late, you're dead]

Men's English:

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

What's wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it  now?

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now!

I love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have sex

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before

Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe   sex?

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with  others

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I'm gay