Robert Donahue

Period 3

Setting: Two aliens on a spaceship. Their names are Hudurak and George.

Hudurak: I got the science kit, now lets get to work!

George: (after a few days) Done; now lets watch what happens on this planet.

Hudurak: (Watching the planet) Hey look, there is life developing on the planet!

George: Awww, ice age, darn! There they go, down the tubes. (Waits) Hey! Look! Some animals survived!

Hudurak: They are evolving! Look at them, they have made little villages and are gathering food. Hmmm, they are fighting amongst their own village people.

George: Don’t worry, I’ll bet they grow out of it, they are a new species after all. Lets let them meet others so they don’t feel isolated.

Hudurak: (watching the two villages meet) Yuck! They are fighting each other!

George: What happened? Did they insult each other?

Hudurak: No, they just took a look at each other’s stuff and started to hit each other.

George: Well, lets just let them punch it out and see what happens. I will give them more intelligence so they won’t fight. (Throws intelligence at the people)

Hudurak: Nope, they are using that new, better brain to make clubs and axes to hit each other.

George: Well, they are making farming equipment and look at them tame those wild animals! That has got to count for something.

Hudurak: (Watching) Oh look, the new farm equipment is being used to make their numbers bigger and stronger, and some of the animals they tamed are being used to fight the other village.

George: (looking down on the planet) Hey! STOP THAT! (To Hudurak) Look, they are now working together to make a building, I bet it is for peace!

Hudurak: Nope, you gave them religion, and now they are attacking other villages in your name, oh great one.

George: Dammit! (To the planet) Stop Killing Each Other!

Hurdurak: Well, now they are doing something. Oh, they are now rounding up the other villages and forcing them to worship you through fear tactics.

George: That’s it! (Sends down chaos and splits the land into different continents, rises up mountain ranges to cut off people) And I won’t talk to them anymore. That better fix them!

Hudurak: (Watching the planet for a few of its centuries) Congrats George, they are now in little places, but they are still fighting amongst themselves.

George: But, not as much, that is a good sign!

Hurdurak: (Watches people) Yeah, except for over here, (pointing to a small spot) they are still fighting a lot.

George: Well, they can’t all be gems.

Hurdurak: Hey George, looks like almost everyone worships you in one form or other, and force their version on each other.

George: Why the heck don’t they just forget about what I said a thousand of their years ago! Hey, they are building big boats, I wonder what for?

Hurdurak: They are sailing to the other civilizations. (Watches) Trade is starting up.

George: See! They are being nice to each other!

Hurdurak: Nope, they are now slaughtering the locals and taking what they want.

George: What the hell!

Hurdurak: And they found out about those other people you sent halfway around the world. Looks like they are heading that way.

George: Well, those people over there are peaceful from isolation; maybe peacefulness will rub off on the aggressive ones.

Hurdurak: (Watches for a century) Well, the peace didn’t last that long, and with the fact they were so far apart, the nice diseases they are exchanging is killing off each other.

George: @$^@$^!!!!!!! (Sends down immunity and the knowledge of doctors)

Hurdurak: Hey George, what do you get when you cross a violent, petty species and medical knowledge?

George: I don’t know, what?

Hurdurak: Newer, better ways to kill each other, such as torture, biological warfare, and mass manipulation.

George: Grrrrrrr.

Hurdurak: Hey look, the aggressive people have beaten the others and taken their land. And look what that one isolated people came up with after a thousand years: Riverdance! Just goes to show you should have sent down a rain of fire.

George: I shouldn’t have put them on the same planet. This sucks.

Hurdurak: Hey look, now it is a worldwide war!

George: You have got to be kidding me. (Yells at planet) GROW UP!!!!!

Hurdurak: Looks like they did, they are making technology again.

George: Yeah, they are harnessing the power of the atom. With a new energy source, they won’t have to worry about resources as much and fight each other for stuff.

Hurdurak: Yeah, except it looks like they are using it to blow up each other now.

George: You have got to be kidding me! They haven’t stopped fighting since we put them on that rock!

Hurdurak: What are they doing now?

George: Looks like, yes! They are going into space! They will see they are not alone when they meet the people on that other planet!

Hurdurak: They have almost gotten to that planet.

George: They have landed! What are those coming out the ship?

Hurdurak: Soldiers, they are killing off the aliens and taking their planet.

George: DAMN!!!!!!! That is it!!! (Throws chaos at the center of the science project, the universe collapses and all is destroyed) Ok, what have we learned from this?

Hurdurak: (looks through reptilian eyes at his friend) Never let mammals go sentient. Lets go get a refund.