At The Cinema: 2003

PLOT: Frodo and Sam try to destroy the One Ring in Mordor as the remainder of the Fellowship join the battle against Sauron for Middle-earth...
REVIEW: Triumphant conclusion to Peter Jackson's adaptation of Tolkien's trilogy. Truly epic battle scenes staged with considerable aplomb are mixed with Frodo's (Elijah Wood) efforts to resist the power of his burden, giving an emotional weight to the superb action onscreen. Strong acting from all the cast ensure that this is one series of films not to be forgotten in a hurry. 5/5

PLOT: A constantly quarelling mother and daughter (Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan) switch bodies after eating a magical Chinese fortune cookie...
REVIEW: Entertaining Disney comedy remake of their 70s film, updating the scenario to a modern single parent family, but of course retaining the 'understanding each other' life lesson. Decent script and funny performances from Lohan and especially Curtis makes this better than most of its ilk. 3/5

PLOT: Disgraced cop Jim Street (Colin Farrell) is given a chance to rejoin LAPD's elite Special Weapons And Tactics team by new Sgt. Hondo...
REVIEW: Very formulaic but still passable action film, enlivened by a game cast (Farrell, Samuel L Jackson as Hondo, LL Cool J and Michelle Rodriguez) and some quite good action scenes. Script is by-the-numbers, and some scenes are little better than a TV production, but you won't be bored. 3/5

PLOT: Various couples and friends find love in their lives in the run-up to Christmas, including the Prime Minister (Hugh Grant)...
REVIEW: Winning romantic comedy penned and helmed by genius Richard Curtis that only the most Scrooge-like will not be charmed by. A fantastic all-star cast led by Grant, Colin Firth, Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, et al make the most of their limited screen time. A cinematic chocolate box. 5/5

PLOT: 1805: Captain Jack Aubrey (Russell Crowe) of the H.M.S. Surprise relentlessly pursues a French privateer that has badly damaged his ship...
REVIEW: Intelligent, well-made drama based on the famous Aubrey/Maturin novels by Patrick O'Brian, skillfully directed by Peter Weir. The action scenes at the beginning and end are thrilling, but the middle section capturing in detail the ordeals of life at sea in Napoleonic times is no less involving. 5/5

PLOT: Buddy has lived as an elf at the North Pole with Santa's other helpers for nearly his whole life, only to learn that he is no elf; he is in fact human...
REVIEW: Genial family Christmas caper starring Will Ferrell. It's the usual fish-out-of-water comedy scenario as Buddy wanders round Manhattan in his elvish garb trying to spread festive cheer, including to his Scrooge-like real father James Caan, but is still enjoyable enough to recommend. 3/5

PLOT: Neo (Keanu Reeves), Trinity and Morpheus fight to save the last human city of Zion from the imminent invasion of the machines...
REVIEW: The Matrix trilogy comes to an action-packed climax that raises more questions than it answers. Much of the script retains the philosophical slant of the first sequel, but doesn't get quite so bogged down. The special effects are again excellent, and the conclusion is satisfying enough. 4/5

PLOT: The true story of a 1930s racehorse which overcame injury and neglect to claim victory after victory, raising the spirits of a beleagured nation...
REVIEW: Feel-good American drama from the director of Pleansantville, Gary Ross. Concentrating on the characters (Tobey Maguire's jockey, Jeff Bridges' owner, Chris Cooper's trainer) rather than the actual races, the film is long and a little too earnest at times, but always interesting thanks to decent cast. 3/5

PLOT: An assassin (Uma Thurman), betrayed on her wedding day by her own organisation, seeks revenge on those who almost killed her...
REVIEW: Quentin Tarantino returns from a six-year absence with this pulpy, violent tribute to the cheap and cheerful Hong Kong action flicks from the seventies. Featuring flying limbs and a ton of blood, it's great fun, though inevitably the script is somewhat lacking. Still it's vivid, lively stuff. 4/5

PLOT: Miles Massey (George Clooney), the best divorce lawyer in L.A., falls for gold-digging serial divorcee Marylin Rexroth (Catherine Zeta-Jones)...
REVIEW: Excellent screwball comedy from Joel and Ethan Coen (O Brother, Where Art Thou?) succeeds thanks to a consistently funny, witty script and game performances, especially from Clooney playing a part Cary Grant would have done fifty years ago. Funniest comedy of the year? Could well be. 5/5

PLOT: 1899: Her Majesty's Government assembles a league of Britain's greatest fictional heroes to stop a madman threatening to start a world war...
REVIEW: Sean Connery heads up this enjoyable, if slightly flat, actioner as Allan Quatermain, joined by the likes of Captain Nemo, Dr Jekyll and The Invisible Man. Although it never really comes to life, it just about passes muster thanks to its ingenious premise and occasionally witty script. 3/5

PLOT: Nemo is a young clownfish who gets caught by fisherman and ends up in a fishtank in Sydney; his dad Marlin sets out to find him...
REVIEW: Excellent Pixar (Toy Story, Monsters Inc.) animation that is up to their usual quality standard, though falls just short of the magnificent Toy Story films. An excellent voice cast, including Geoffrey Rush and Albert Brooks, lend class to this touching tale. Fantastic animation of course. 5/5

PLOT: Fate draws three childhood friends back together when the daughter of one is killed, and suspicion begins to turn towards one of the other two...
REVIEW: Clint Eastwood directed this dark, thoroughly absorbing drama and it's a definite return to form. Featuring three terrific star performances (Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon and Tim Robbins) and a good supporting cast, pic is not a happy tale, but one most will find rewards investment. Clint's last classic? 4/5

PLOT: Maverick narcotic detectives Marcus (Martin Lawrence) and Mike (Will Smith) are on the trail of Ecstasy smugglers in Miami...
REVIEW: Loud, violent and occasionally ugly sequel to the modest 1995 hit is lacking in most departments except action, where it truly excels - there's some spectacular stunts here you have to see to believe. Beyond that, it's too long, too overcooked, too unbelievable and almost totally without charm. 2/5

PLOT: Vampire warrior Selene (Kate Beckinsale) hunts down lycans, their werewolf enemy. But then she falls a man who is turning into a lycan...
REVIEW: Loud, dark and violent, Underworld should appeal to young teenage boys, but few others. Despite some good ideas and impressive production values (given its low-ish budget), the script never really engages the viewer or makes any of its characters likeable. Good action and pace help a bit. 2/5

PLOT: Charlie Croker (Mark Wahlberg) reunites his gang to steal back the gold an ex-accomplice made off with during their Italian job...
REVIEW: Remake of the popular 1969 Michael Caine starrer is a decent affair, channelling some 'Ocean's 11' -esque vibe into an entirely different story set initially in Venice, and then L.A. Wahlberg is passable, but the other cast members do better as his gang. Nice Mini chase at the end as well. 3/5

PLOT: A group of W.I. women decide to pose naked for a calendar to raise money for charity, in memory of one their husbands who died of cancer...
REVIEW: Excellent comedy-drama in the mould of 'The Full Monty' that is both very funny and quietly touching. Quality cast (all familiar faces) is led by Helen Mirren and Julie Walters; latter especially is on brilliant form. Tastefully done (like the original calendar), this is the sort of film the British do best. 4/5

PLOT: The Creeper is on the last day of his 23-day feeding frenzy, just as a basketball team's bus breaks down in his territory...
REVIEW: Entertaining sequel to the original 2001 horror favours action rather than the tension that made its predecessor so effective. Nevertheless the action is well staged and there are some good moments. New cast is fairly bland; notable exception is Ray Wise, playing a father seeking revenge. 3/5

PLOT: Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie) is once again on the trail of a villain, this one intent on using Pandora's Box to unleash a deadly evil across the world...
REVIEW: Sequel to 2001 video game adapatation is slightly better than its predecessor, having the look and feel of a Bond fim. Jolie is again far better than the material she has to work with, but Jan de Bont directs with enough energy to please the action crowd. Nice locations help things along. 3/5

PLOT: Jim (Jason Biggs) and Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) prepare to tie the knot; but they hadn't reckoned with Stifler (Seann William Scott) helping out...
REVIEW: Supposedly final installment of the 'Pie' saga is a decent effort and worthy climax, with enough humour, sentiment and outrageous farce to pass muster, even if not all of it works. Cast are all good, though Scott seems to be on autopilot most of the time. Fair direction by Jesse Dylan (son of Bob). 3/5

PLOT: Freddy Kreuger (Robert Englund) tries to return to Elm Street by instilling fear into its teenage inhabitants - so he resurrects Jason Voorhees...
REVIEW: Horror team-up of the famous baddies from the 'Nightmare on Elm Street' and 'Friday the 13th' films has more action than actual scares, but is entertaining for the most part. Rubbish acting, gratuitous nudity, blood by the gallon - fans will lap it up. Not strictly a good film, but at least a fun one. 3/5

PLOT: Pirate Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) and blacksmith Will (Orlando Bloom) try and recover Jack's ship from the mutinous (and cursed) crew...
REVIEW: Brace the mains'l, the pirate film is back! Highly enjoyable flick mixes old-fashioned high seas adventure with some 'Mummy'-style humour and horror to winning effect, anchored by Depp's brilliant lead character, probably the funniest performance onscreen all year. Superb effects too. 4/5

PLOT: A new Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is sent back in time to protect John Connor (Nick Stahl) from a more advanced Terminator, the T-X...
REVIEW: Second sequel to James Cameron's 1984 sci-fi thriller is an enjoyable, exciting B-movie that, while not reaching the classic status of the first two films, does have some great action set-pieces and a surprisingly thought-provoking ending to its credit. Performances are ok; effects great. 4/5

PLOT: Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) heads to Congress to get legislation preventing animal testing for cosmetics, to protect her dog Bruiser's mom...
REVIEW: Entertaining sequel to 2001 hit is a notch down from the original, suffering from a weaker script, but gets by thanks to its effervescent star Witherspoon, who strides through it all with charm by the bucketload. Efficiently directed, with strong production values. One for the girls. 3/5

PLOT: Ex-spy kid Juni (Daryl Sabara) is called back into service to rescue sister Carmen, trapped inside a computer game created by an evil genius...
REVIEW: Final (?) entry in the Spy Kids series is the least of the three, but still an OK movie that keeps the energy levels way up there as usual. Nominal star Antonio Banderas is only to be found in the final scenes (along with other regulars), whilst the 3D effects, minus novelty factor, are nothing special. 3/5

PLOT: 1996: Veronica Guerin (Cate Blanchett), an Irish journalist trying to expose the drug trafficking that is bedeviling local communities, is murdered...
REVIEW: Dramatisation of Guerin's investigations and infamous murder which shocked Ireland is a strong piece, anchored by the brilliant Blanchett who is excellent as Guerin, never hitting the obviously sentimental buttons. Director Joel Schumacher occasionally does, but never to the ruin of the film. 4/5

PLOT: Scientist Bruce Banner (Eric Bana) accidently receives an overdose of gamma rays in his lab, causing him to mutate whenever he gets angry...
REVIEW: Intriguing adaptation of the famous comic-book character directed by Ang Lee in the style of a comic, with references to Greek tragedy mixed in with awesome action sequences. Result is an occasionally slow film that many will not like, but its ambition and intelligence make it unmissable. 4/5

PLOT: The three girls working for Charles Townsend's P.I. agency return to investiage the theft of two rings holding the identities of relocated witnesses...
REVIEW: Sequel to the 2000 film based on the 70s TV series is a classic example of 'more is less': bigger stunts, louder music, but less enjoyable. There's still good-natured fun to be had though from the three leads (Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu). Barmy, colourful and very dumb. 3/5

PLOT: Bruce Nolan (Jim Carrey) rages against God (Morgan Freeman) for not giving him a break - so He makes Bruce God to see if he can do any better...
REVIEW: Carrey returns to 'Ace Ventura'-style comedy, and it works a treat. He has rarely been in such good form, and the script uses the gimmicky plot well enough to make sure the laughs keep on coming. Freeman and Jennifer Aniston do well with their limited roles, but it's Jim's show all the way. 4/5

PLOT: Ex-cop Brian O'Conner (Paul Walker) is given a choice: offer his illegal street-racing skills to a drug baron to help bring him down, or go to jail...
REVIEW: Inferior sequel to 2001 hit 'The Fast and the Furious' is all gloss, no content - but what gloss! Slick car action, cool stunts, hot Miami locations, sexy chicks: all the ingredients you need for an enjoyable summer ride. Walker is passable; rapper Tyrese is better, giving scenes some spark. 3/5

PLOT: Ten strangers are forced to take shelter in an isolated motel during a vicious storm; but someone has started to kill them off one by one...
REVIEW: John Cusack and Ray Liotta star in this decent horror thriller from James Mangold (Cop Land). Although the set up is nothing new, the mid-way twist is a good one, and the actors give good turns to keep things interesting. Mangold keeps the tension up with the gloomy, violent storm outside. 3/5

PLOT: Neo, Morpheus and Trinity start to take the war to the machines from within the Matrix, as Neo searches for the truth behind his destiny...
REVIEW: The Matrix becomes a trilogy with this middle chapter: another excellent sci-fi thriller, combining more superb action and special effects with philosophical debates on destiny and fate. Gets a bit bogged down at times through repetitious action and talk; but still a dazzling piece of cinema. 4/5

PLOT: Criminal and murderer Tom Ripley (John Malkovich) is living the good life in Italy until an old business associate turns up requesting his talents...
REVIEW: Semi-sequel to 'The Talented Mr Ripley' sees Malkovich perfectly cast as the eponymous villain, 20 years older and more adept at using other people's lives to improve his own. Dougray Scott is good as Ripley's target; European photography lends a strong flavour to this quality thriller. 4/5

PLOT: The X-Men must unite with sworn enemy Magneto to defeat a mutual threat to mutants: a man called Stryker, who is bent on destroying them all...
REVIEW: Ripping sequel to 2000 hit 'X-Men' has twice the action of its predecessor, compressing an engaging storyline, great action set-pieces and old and new characters into a fit-to-burst package whilst continuing the theme of society's treatment of minorities. Brains + brawn = quality blockbuster. 4/5

PLOT: British artist Colin (Colin Firth) heads to the town of Hope in the US to escape the painful break-up with his ex - until she comes out after him...
REVIEW: Thin but enjoyable romantic comedy that allows Firth a rare chance to display his comic skills, alongside Heather Graham as a new love interest and Minnie Driver as the horrible old one. Big laughs aren't really on the agenda, but amusing nonetheless, and certainly a good date movie. 3/5

PLOT: Four street bums attempt to rob a house that will set them up for life - but can they triumph against their own clumsiness and incompetence...?
REVIEW: Quirky comedy starring, among others, William H Macy and Sam Rockwell as the useless thieves trying to get rick quick. Less concerned about laughs than the colourful characters that populate the titular run-down neighbourhood. Producer George Clooney cameos to hilarious effect. 3/5

PLOT: New Yorker Stu Shepherd (Colin Farrell) answers a random ringing payphone, only to be told by the caller that he'll be shot dead if he hangs up...
REVIEW: Decent Hitchcockian thriller from director Joel Schumacher that is set amost entirely around the titular telephone. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it's quite a short film, but never less than intriguing and usually pretty tense, thanks to Schumacher's direction and Farrell's turn in the central role. 4/5

PLOT: For their jobs, a man must make a girl fall in love with him and a girl must pick up, then dump a man. Both have 10 days. Both pick each other...
REVIEW: Enjoyable romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey as the guy and girl given the tasks. Script has a lot of fun examining the extreme natures of the sexes in relationships, resulting in a few hilarious moments. Some chemistry between the stars also helps things. 3/5

PLOT: Britain's top spies have all been killed, leaving only penpusher English (Rowan Atkinson) to investigate the theft of the Crown Jewels...
REVIEW: A promising setup is only partially successful in this spy spoof. Atkinson is on good form, while John Malkovich is suitably hammy as the bad guy. The script struggles to generate any real laughs though, almost too thin to sustain its 90 minute running time. Just about worth a watch. 3/5

PLOT: 1887: Roy O'Bannon (Owen Wilson) and Chon Wang (Jackie Chan) travel to London seeking an imperial seal and the murderer of Chon's father...
REVIEW: Good-natured sequel to 2000's far-east-meets-wild-west comedy actioner Shanghai Noon. Not as fresh or funny as its predecessor, and a bit too busy for its own good; but Chan's action still amazes and Wilson's surfer-dude cowboy still amuses. The vast anachronisms only add to the fun! 3/5

PLOT: When Earth's magnetic field collapses and the end of the world looms, a team of scientists travel to the centre of the planet to restart the core...
REVIEW: Enjoyable popcorn disaster flick that lacks the jaw-dropping spectacle of its peers, but does have a healthy dose of humour mixed in with the usual sci-fi ingredients (plucky Yanks save the day). Although perhaps a tad too long, it never outstays its welcome. Good, decent entertainment. 3/5

PLOT: James Clayton (Colin Farrell) is recruited into the CIA by Walter Burke (Al Pacino), who then asks for his help in finding a mole in the agency...
REVIEW: Nicely entertaining thriller that's worth watching thanks to the performances of the leads, who spark off each other nicely and rise above the derivative story and script, and director Roger Donaldson (Thirteen Days), who keeps things brisk and tense. Seen it all before, but still fun nevertheless. 3/5

PLOT: Psychologist Chris Kelvin (George Clooney) is sent out to a space station orbiting the mysterious planet Solaris, to discover the fate of its crew...
REVIEW: Excellent science fiction drama from director Steven Soderbergh, very much in the vein of '2001', musing on the nature of life and (especially) love. Clooney anchors the film with a strong performance amidst some superb visual imagery from Soderbergh's photography. Intelligent and rewarding. 4/5

PLOT: Matt Murdock (Ben Affleck), blinded when he was 12, is a lawyer by day, masked vigilante by night, writing the wrongs that the law cannot do...
REVIEW: Very enjoyable superhero adventure, darker and more brooding than the usual comicbook adaptations (though it's no Batman). Affleck is suitably square-jawed and tortured as the good guy, Jennifer Garner is ok as his girlfriend Elektra, but Colin Farrell steals the show as villain Bullseye. 4/5

PLOT: Three women's lives are drastically influenced by Virginia Woolf's 'Mrs Dalloway': Woolf herself, a 50's housewife and a modern day career woman...
REVIEW: Superb drama with excellent performances from Nicole Kidman as Woolf writing the book, Julianne Moore as the housewife reading it and Meryl Streep as a latter day Dalloway. Intelligent script allows real characters to emerge, thanks also to director Stephen Daldry. Thought-provoking class. 5/5

PLOT: Death starts shuffling off a second group of people, who should have been killed in a motorway pile-up - exactly one year after Flight 180 blew up...
REVIEW: Sequel to the 2000 horror hit is an enjoyably gruesome affair, much more bloody than its predecessor, and far more tongue-in-cheek. Ali Larter is the sole survivor from the first, returning to help out the new bunch of victi-- er, people. Not as subtle or as spooky as part 1, but the OTT deaths are fun! 3/5

PLOT: Billionaire George Wade (Hugh Grant) finds himself lost when his lawyer-cum-PA Lucy (Sandra Bullock) finally has enough and quits...
REVIEW: Passable romantic comedy that gets by solely on the charm of its lead actors, neither of whom offer anything particularly fresh or new. The plot is utterly predictable and the jokes are a bit too few and far between; nevertheless, you'll smile and enjoy it anyway. And then forget all about it. 3/5

PLOT: Barry Egan (Adam Sandler) finds his lonely life turned upside down when he enounters a woman, a harmonium and a sex chat-line...
REVIEW: Arthouse romantic comedy that will leave you feeling genuinely touched, or bewildered, or both. Directed by P.T. Anderson (Magnolia), it allows Sandler to create a real character, and Emily Watson as the girl he meets is wonderfully enigmatic. Slow in parts, vibrant in others. Try it. 3/5

PLOT: 1960s America: 16-year old Frank Abagnale Jr (Leonardo DiCaprio) cashes millions of dollars in forged cheques. The FBI hunt him down...
REVIEW: Steven Spielberg directs this enjoyable tale based on the true story of Abagnale, who passed himself off as a doctor, lawyer, teacher and pilot before the age of 18. Tom Hanks plays the agent tracking him down. As suave and sophisticated as only Sixties entertainment should be - cool. 4/5

PLOT: Newly retired Warren Schmidt (Jack Nicholson) faces up to a life without meaning, until his wife's sudden death brings about big changes...
REVIEW: Bitter-sweet dramedy that Nicholson anchors with an excellent performance as Schmidt, a sort of American Victor Meldrew with slightly less attitude. His road trip to stop his daughter's wedding is both touching and funny; a warm, witty, fully-rounded film that deserves wider recognition. 5/5

PLOT: 40 years after its mysterious disappearance, a luxury cruise liner is discovered by a salvage crew, who board it unaware of the horrors within...
REVIEW: Mildly entertaining horror hokum that pillages from all sorts of older (and better) films. Gabriel Byrne and Julianna Margulies star, though performances are only adequate at best. The opening ten minutes are the scariest; the rest is strictly by-the-numbers, dark corridors stuff. 2/5

PLOT: Jimmy "Rabbit" Smith (Eminem) is down and out in Detroit, seeking escape through the rap club he visits, but lacking the courage to break out...
REVIEW: Eminem's bid for movie stardom is a success in the hands of 'L.A. Confidential' director Curtis Hanson. Taking a trite story and infusing it with real emotion, film is a solid, well-acted drama that is not just a showcase for star's music. A 'Saturday Night Fever' for the rap generation. 4/5