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TIRED OF CUTTING YOURSELF WHILE SHAVING?
I hate shaving. I know for sure that by the time I am done I'll need a blasted blood transfusion. I hate shaving so much I wrote a poem about it...it goes something like this...
The I Hate Shaving Poem
I cut and nick
Thank God for Styptic
I swear as my skin I tear
And I think...
Before Ben Franklin got struck by lighting
Did he have a experience with shaving that was enlighting?
Before Bill Gates got the right binary byte,
Did he cut himself on the left side of the face or the right?
Before Tomas Edision got the right light
Did he have a shaving idea that was bright?
Before Ceasar crossed the Rubicon,
did he put after shave on?
Before Washington defended a nations dream
Did he use a little or a lot of shaving cream?
Before Chris Columbus discovered our little place,
Did his razor draw some blood from his face?
Before John Lennon wrote a song about imagining a place where we all would care...
Did he ever wonder about how to shave off that pesky nosehair?
And all these questions flowed through my mind
These thoughts in my head I did find
As I turned on the hot water and applied my Grooming Care...
I cut and nick
Thank God for Styptic
I swear as my skin I tear
Oh yes...do I swear...
And I'm now done with this ranting and raving
About how, oh, how I hate shaving!!!
Joel Maurice Verlin
November 22, 1998
Of course that was before I found out about Artistry Hydrating Masque. My Mom recommended it to me once before I went into my daily human sacrifice session with my trusty razor and shaving cream. HYDRATING MASQUE? Isn't that what women use or something? You have GOT to be kidding me, right? My Mom asked me to humor her, so I did.
There I was, standing there looking at the package. I'm a guy, for crips sake, I DON'T USE THIS STUFF!!!
I actually put it on.
I could hadly believe it, after shaving slowly, I had a smooth shave! NO CUTS! AMAZING! I was admiring myself in the mirror (I'm not a GQ model or anything but I am a good looking guy) and feeling my face. Man, it was smooth...and no cuts...I was truly amazed.
Even one of my female co-workers agreed that my face was smooth after she ran her hand over one side of my face and tested out my shave.
So there you have it, the perfect product to get not ONLY a cutless shave - but a smooth shave as well.
Shoot out an email to the Joelmister ([email protected]) if you want to find out how to order some Hydrating Masque and end your forty million cuts per shave.