The Danger Rearranger

The Emcee Skooch (Emcee Lyricus Lyricus) is a bipedal mammalian herbivore of the North American Mid-Atlantic.  Originally found nearly exclusively in rural Appalachian West Virginia, Maryland, and Pennsylvania, it has increasingly been found in urban regions, and has been sighted, although infrequently, in areas as distant as the Yucatan Peninsula and even the Libyan Desert.  Although fierce looking, it poses no physical threat unless provoked.  The Emcee Skooch has a natural competitor in the North American Whack Emcee (Emcee Typicalus), who, if encroaching on Skooch territory, is assaulted with a ritualistic display of lyrical fury accompanied by exaggerated staccato hand and arm movements.  Although the resulting reality destabilization is usually enough to dispel gatherings (‘crews’) of up to five Whack Emcees individually, the Emcee Skooch is, on the whole, increasingly overcome by the sheer numbers and weed-like proliferation of the Whack Emcee.  While it has no natural predators, the prejudicial pressures and consumptive civilization of man in conjunction with the continuous encroachment of the Whack Emcee into Skooch territory has forced the Emcee Skooch into an essentially defensive position, a position which is supported primarily by the Skooch’s strong symbiotic relationships with similarly threatened species such as the Emcee Truce (Emcee Lyricus Freestylus), the Dope Rappa (Emcee Lyricus Metaphysicalus), and the King Emcee (Emcee Lyricus Pantera).

News 11 Answers Bios Images Sounds Home