Big Red (thought balloon): I hate this place.
Glitterboy (thought balloon): The mall rules.

Panel 2:
(Glitterboy's smiling face. Some schoolgirls are behind him, giggling and blushing. One of them is pointing at him.)

Glitterboy: Hey, I heard The Bon(tm) is having a sale on latex shorts. Wanna check it out?
Big Red (off panel): Whatever.

Panel 3:
(Glitterboy and Big Red are pressed together by a small horde of the schoolgirls. Glitterboy is winking, smiling with lots of teeth, and making gun points at them. One of them is giving Big Red the fish eye. Big Red is glaring at her, arms still crossed.)

Glitterboy: Hey man, I thought you wanted to come here.
Big Red: Yeah, but you kicked my ass in Street Fighter so bad I don't have any money left. Now what am I supposed to do?

Panel 4:
(Glitterboy is signing an autograph on one of the girls' chest just below the neck. The other girls are swooning. Big Red's fisheye chick has turned away from him and is imitating his cross-armed pose with a snotty upturned nose. Big Red has his hands on his hips and is looking at Glitterboy.)

Glitterboy: Turn that frown upside down, Big Red! We've still got those coupons for Chili Cheese Fries!
Big Red: Oh...yeah. Sounds good except for the cheese. Cool.

Panel 5:
(Glitterboy and Big Red, seen from behind, are walking away from the girls. They are all waving good bye and some are jumping up and down. Glitterboy is looking over his right shoulder and smiling, right hand waving. Big Red trudges along in a slouch, hands in pockets.)

Big Red: Sorry to be such a bitch, man. I'd just rather be fighting ninjas.
Glitterboy: Hey, Renee would have come if you hadn't made her stay home.
Big Red: She's always pouncing on strangers. Anyway, she's not much of a ninja. She's always yelling "sneak sneak!" when she's walking around.

Panel 6:
(Glitterboy and Big Red, from front. Glitterboy is looking and pointing to his left. Big Red still has hands in pockets and is looking in same direction.)

Glitterboy: Hey man, two for one on earrings. We could get your ears done too.
Big Red: Not unless they have a pneumatic drill sized for earrings.
Glitterboy: You just gotta want it, man.

Panel 7:
(Glitterboy and Big Red, from front. Approaching Orange Julius. Big Red appears to be digging in one of his pockets, looking confused. Glitterboy is rubbing his hands together and grinning.)

Glitterboy: If I was president, I'd name at least five national monuments after Chili Cheese Fries.
Big Red: Now where the hell...hey, do you hear something?
Glitterboy: Like what?
Big Red: It sounded like a big crunch in the video game place...

Panel 8:
(The cashier's counter from Video Game Headquarters(tm) is flying through the air at our heroes. Glitterboy is to Big Red's left and is going to get hit first. Glass from the broken window is flying all over the place and so are some computer games and rubble. Glitterboy is pursing his lips and Big Red has his left eyebrow raised.

Mysterious Voice (off panel): Die, Glitterboy!

Panel 9: (this would be a good place for a page break.)
(In the wreckage of Orange Julius. Big Red is pinned between the Orange Julius counter and the Video Game Headquarters counter. Glitterboy, unharmed, is on the other side of the Julius counter, looking over. Neither seem particularly worried. Civilians are running out the back and to the right, by the tables. The Julius counter seems to have been moved back about ten feet by the blow.)

Big Red: Did you piss off those video game guys or something?
Glitterboy: Yeah, I bet it was Tom that did this. He heard me making fun of his mom last week and lifted weights until he could throw a counter at me. I saw an ad in the back of last month's Dance Man comic where you could gain super strength in a week with some kind of stretchy metal thing.
Big Red: I remember that ad. Man, those X-Ray specs sucked. I totally couldn't see anyone's boobs.

Panel 10:
(Looking from Orange Julius at Video Game Headquarters. The interior of the store is filled with smoke. Glass and rubble are spread out on the ground away from the store front in an arc. Three shadowy figures are barely visible in the smoke.)

Center figure: Silence, fools! This fight is only beginning! Prepare to meet your doom at our hands! (need a name...Triumvriate? Something silly.)

Panel 11:
(Same view as panel 9, but Big Red and Glitterboy both look pissed off. No civilians. Flames are shooting out of the deep fat frier and grill hood.)

Glitterboy: I hate it when fuckheads call me names.
Big Red: (yelling) Hey! You fucked up the french fry...thing! What the fuck am I supposed to do with these chili cheese fries coupons now, dicks?
Glitterboy: I think these guys are begging for a beating.

Panel 12:
(Closer view of shadowy figures. Center figure seems to be pointing.)

Center figure: Atlas! Beam Boy! Destroy them!

Panel 13: (another page?)
(Two figures are charging out of the smoke, which curls to follow the wind of their passage and all that. On the left is a stocky guy wearing only blue pants ripped at the knees and blue suspenders. His chest is pretty hairy. Brown hair and a gaping yelling mouth. On the right is a tall, skinny guy wearing a lavender skintight body suit with matching blue boots, oversized gloves, panties, and a hat with a shark fin thing on top. His face is orange and he has squinty eyes and a big toothy grin.)

Atlas and Beam Boy: RAAAAARRHH!
Glitterboy: (off panel) Please don't tell me I have to fight someone named Beam Boy.
Big Red: (off panel) Sorry, man. He's coming for you. Besides, I think I owe the encyclopedia guy for that counter fucking up my french fries.

Panel 14:
(Closer view of Big Red and Orange Julius. Glitterboy is a streak heading out the back door. Beam Boy is growling as he hurdles the counters. Big Red is climbing onto the VGH counter, one foot up and one hand on top, and cracking his neck to one side. Atlas's shadow is visible with fists raised in front of the counter.)

Glitterboy: IwantsomespaceI'llbeoutside!
Atlas: (off panel) You're mine, Big Red!

Panel 15:
(In the Mall parking lot. Glitterboy is on one end of an aisle between cars, opposite from the viewpoint, which is behind Beam Boy. They are facing each other. Glitterboy has his hands relaxed at his sides. Beam Boy has his fists slightly extended with bent elbows, visible at either side of his body. Kind of like he's showing off his biceps but his hands aren't that high - only about shoulder level.)

Glitterboy: Oh my God, you're a turd. No, seriously.
Beam Boy: Shut up! It doesn't matter how fast you are - even you aren't faster than light!

Panel 16:
(parking lot. Glitterboy is about six cars closer and slightly to the right of his first position, and his stance indicates that he is running, hands open, left leg bent forward in a lunge. Beam Boy has extended both of his fists together, straight out in front of him. A big lavender blast of light extends from his fists to a firey crater where Glitterboy used to be standing.)

Beam Boy: ...And that's my power! Laser Beams! Not even you can dodge them!

Panel 17: (new page)
(same parking lot, but now first person from Beam Boy's point of view. All you can see of Beam Boy is his extended fists. Glitterboy has advanced again and is now next to the left side row of cars, still running. Another laser beam reaches from Beam Boy's fists to the car behind Glitterboy's position in the last panel. An explosion is just beginning to tear the car apart.)

Beam Boy: Yes! Not even you...can...

Panel 18:
(same view, Glitterboy has advanced again and is still running, now he's back to the other row of cars. Beam Boy is blowing up another car at Glitterboy's last position and the first car is now a big fireball.)

Beam Boy: ...Dammit! Hold still!

Panel 19:
(same view, Glitterboy is now only about five cars away and is back on the left side. Beam Boy is blowing up another car, etc.)

Beam Boy: ...Why can't I hit...?
Glitterboy: Dork.

Panel 20:
(same view. Glitterboy is no longer visible. Cars continue to burn/explode.)

Beam Boy: What! Where'd he go?
Glitterboy: (off panel) It might help if you weren't shooting at where I was about ten minutes ago.
Beam Boy: Wha - Behind?

Panel 21: (new page)
(This panel is dark except for the word, *WHAP!*)

Panel 22:
(Glitterboy is standing over the unconcious body of Beam Boy, with the mall behind him.)

Glitterboy: ...Jesus, this guy's outfit is a fucking disaster.

Panel 23:
(Orange Julius. Big Red is getting up after apparently being knocked into the far wall. The wall is cracked and indented slightly. His clothes are somewhat fucked up and a drop of blood is leaving the right side of his mouth. Atlas is visible from behind. He is standing in a total show-off-my-biceps pose.)

Atlas: Hah! You weren't counting on my strength being as great as yours! We know all about you and your teammates! Our leader chose this moment carefully - the two of you alone - and our powers strategically manipulated to destroy you!
Big Red: (quietly) You talk too much.

Panel 24:
(Side view. Big Red has lunged at Atlas, punching with his left hand. Atlas has dodged slightly to Red's left side and driven his fist in a short uppercut into Big Red's tummy, bending his body somewhat. Big Red has a pained look on his face and is exhaling air hard. Sound effect says, *Whump!*)

Atlas: Hah! Your speed is no match for me!
Big Red: Yeahh-oof!

Panel 25:
(Same view. Atlas has twisted slightly to follow Big Red's motion and is punching down, conneting with Big Red's face and turning it towards the floor. Big Red's body is almost horizontal as his failed charge's momentum continues to drive him forward. One hand is reaching for the floor. His eyes are closed and more blood is flying from his mouth.)

Atlas: You're outclassed!

Panel 26:
(The view is reversed. Atlas has lifted Big Red over his shoulders, one hand grabbing Big Red's throat, the other his crotch. Big Red doesn't look happy. More blood leaking down from his mouth.)

Atlas: Urrrgh...

Panel 27:
(Same view, Big Red is horizontal, striking the far wall of OJ. Sound effect: *Crunch!*. Atlas's back is shown, arms extended forward from throwing Big Red.)

Big Red: Ughf!
Atlas: ...rrraaah!

Panel 28:
(Same view but closer to Big Red. He has been thrown into the wall hard enough to penetrate completely through the wood and dry wall. Plaster is raining down on his head. He is sitting down and has both palms on the floor. One knee is bent as he tries to get up.)

Big Red: Uhhhh...
Atlas: (off panel) Ah, ha ha ha! You're pathetic!

Panel 29:
(Close up of Big Red's face. His eyes have popped open. He looks pretty pissed.)

Atlas: (off panel) Ha, ha, ha...

Panel 30:
(First person from Big Red's point of view. Big Red's left knee and right lower leg are visible on the floor. Atlas is standing directly in front of Big Red, fists raised, showing off biceps again.)

Atlas: Ah, ha, ha...

Panel 31:
(Same view...but black and white. Lots of shadow. Atlas's figure has been replaced by a thin sillouette.)

Figure: Ah, ha, ha...
Text: Bethany...

Panel 32:
(Back in OJ. Atlas is walking toward Big Red, stepping over some chunks of counter. He has a big grin on his face. Sound effect: *crunch*)

Atlas: Heh, heh, heh...yep, you're pathetic. You and your whole team.
Text: My sister Bethany used to do this to me all the time.

Panel 33:
(Black and white. The shadowy figure is advancing, just like Atlas. It looks like a tall girl, but still most details are shadowed except the grin and a few small scars on her face.)

Bethany: Heh, heh, heh...you're so pathetic. Why am I forced to spend time with you?
Text: Beat the shit out of me, I mean.

Panel 34:
(black and white. Bethany is now close enough to make out some features. She looks mostly mean. Tall and slim, sharp cheekbones, hair pulled back in a pony tail. She is wearing what looks like a black wifebeater and karate gi pants with a belt. Her breasts are not large but you can make them out under the shirt. Arms are very muscular. She's holding both her fists out in front of her, palms/thumbs up, and blood is running freely from both of them. She still has a big grin, despite her words.)

Bethany: Why? Why, Mother? What sins did I commit in some former life?
Text: She did it a couple of times a day for about a dozen years, actually.

Panel 35:
(Bethany is standing over the view now, grinning as she looks down with narrow, pupiless white eyes.)

Bethany: Why?
Text: She would beat me until I couldn't stand up. And then she'd stand over me and gloat.

Panel 36:
(color in OJ again. Atlas is almost as close as Bethany and is stepping forward in an identical pose, fists turned knuckles down, though less blood is on them. Big grin.)

Big Red: (whisper) Yeah...that's it...get close...you like to gloat...
Text: Until one day, I was faking.

Panel 37:
(black and white. View to the side of Big Red and Bethany. Big Red is on one knee. His face is turned down, and Bethany can't see his own grin, which matches hers.)

Big Red: (whisper) Yeah...that's it...get close...you like to gloat...and...

Panel 38:
(black and white. View slightly behind and to the side of Big Red as he delivers a massive uppercut to Bethany's jaw, lifting them both off the floor. Her face is lifted up towards the ceiling. Both of them have closed eyes and contorted faces. Sound effect: *Crunch!*)

Bethany: Huurrrk!
Big Red: Harrraaaah!

Panel 39:
(color OJ. Same view and same action, but Atlas instead of Bethany. Sound effect: *Whack!*)

Atlas: Huurrrk!
Big Red: Haah!

Panel 40:
(black and white. view is from behind Bethany as she hits the floor with her arched back, neck, arms, and legs extended up. Sound effect: *whump* Big Red can be seen further back in the shadows, landing his uppercut with knees bent, left fist forward in a guard position. Note that his arms are flesh and not metal.)

Bethany: Uuhhhh!
Text: Her jaw was permanently fucked up. She had to eat soup for the rest of her life. Everyone congratulated me for finally standing up to her.

Panel 41:
(color, OJ. Same view. Atlas is landing in similar position in the rubble. Sound effect: *Fwump!* Dust flies from the impact. Big Red's position is identical.)

Atlas: Uhck*...
Text: They didn't know why I was disappointed...but the truth is, I had been planning to break her neck.

Panel 42:
(color from now on. OJ. side view, looking out of store towards VGH. Big Red stands with his fists at his sides, relaxed, looking down at the slumped body of Atlas.)

Big Red: It's nice to be strong and fast, kid...but all it takes is one good punch.

Panel 43:
(Big Red and Glitterboy stand in front of VGH, facing the view, Glitterboy on Big Red's right. Glitterboy is carrying Beam Boy by the back of his outfit, and Big Red has Atlas by the suspenders. They're looking at each other.)

Glitterboy: That was fast. I was expecting to be able to beat Street Fighter again. What, was he a pussy?
Big Red: No, he was tough, but dumb. Apparently, I was supposed to be so amazed by the fact that the guy who picked me to fight had super strength that his first attack would be enough to win the fight. After that, he thought he could make up for skill with speed.

Panel 44:
(close up of Big Red's face. He has a nasty smile.)

Big Red: I disabused him of such notions.

Panel 45:
(same view as panel 43. Big Red is stretching his left fingers back towards his wrist with his right hand, while Glitterboy is running his hands through his hair. Both have dropped their respective super villains.)

Glitterboy: You 'disabused him of such notions'? Have you been reading Erin's books or something? Anyway, it looks like he roughed you up pretty good.
Big Red: Yeah, well. I suppose it's just as well you didn't get hit, since I'd be scraping you up with a...
Mysterious Voice: Silence, fools!
Glitterboy: Jesus, not again.

Panel 46:
(view is towards VGH. Glitterboy and Big Red's inner arms are visible from behind. Standing on an overturned video game rack is a midget. A green-skinned midget with a gigantic silver hat that looks like an airfoil. He has a big purple cape and orange robes with some chinese symbol and a fucked up green face with sharp teeth and little beady black eyes. His arms are extended palm-out toward our heroes. The store behind him is pretty trashed.)

Midget: I don't know how you two imbeciles defeated my men. You are obviously more resourceful than I had believed possible. However, now you must face me - you may call me - The Mighty!

Panel 47:
(view is from the Mighty's point of view. Glitterboy and Big Red have turned to look at each other with one eyebrow raised each.)

Big Red: The Mighty...what?
Glitterboy: Dude, it's the Mighty Midget. Only he's too pc to say "midget". You know, like how it's only okay to say "dyke" if you're a lesbian...only backwards, I guess.
Big Red: What a bunch of freaks.
The Mighty: SILENCE!

Panel 48:
(view is of the Mighty. Close up. He's extending one hand and pointing at our heroes. His other hand is raised in a clenched fist. His face is contorted with rage and spit is flying out of his mouth, teeth visible.)

The Mighty: I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!

Panel 49:
(view is of our heroes. They are both stunned into open-mouthed, wide-eyed silence.)

Panel 50:
(same view. The heroes are laughing hysterically. Glitterboy has one hand over his mouth. Big Red is holding his tummy with both hands and roaring with head aimed at the ceiling.)

Big Red: Can't! Believe! You! Said!
Glitterboy: Help! Somebody help! There's a...a Peck here with an acorn pointed at me!

Panel 51:
(view is of the Mighty. He is floating a foot off the display case, hands and feet now extended forward toward our heroes. Transparent forces are radiating off of him in every direction. His face continues to look really pissed off. Sound effect: *whhhmmmmmmm*)

The Mighty: Okay, that's it! Feel my wrath!

Panel 52:
(pan out view. Big Red is on his knees, shielding his face with one hand and gripping a chunk of the floor with the other. Glitterboy has apparently vanished. A big arc of empty space has opened in front of the Mighty, and the carpet is tearing and rolling up. Sound effect: *Whhhhmmmm!*)

The Mighty: HAH hah ha ha ha ha! I am a telekinetic of unparalled power!

Panel 53:
(closer view. Big Red is crawling toward the Mighty, leaving handholds crushed into the floor. Transparent waves buffer his body. A golden blur can be seen below the Mighty and around his feet. Sound effect: *WhhhhmmmMMMMM!*)

The Mighty: Come on! Your physical powers are no match for my mental ability! In the realm of the mind, I'm a giant compared to you morons!

Panel 54:
(view from the Mighty's point of view. The wall around Orange Julius is caving away. Video games and shit are flying everywhere. The windows of other shops are shattering inward. The contents of Orange Julius are being pushed out the far wall. Big Red is about a yard away, reaching forward with his right hand, left hand grasping a chunk of concrete under the floor. Sound effect: *WHHHHHMMMMMMM!!!*)

The Mighty: You...You're nothing! Nothing! You can't possibly be strong enough to reach me...

Panel 56:
(same view. Big Red is now about a foot away from the Mighty. He reaches forward with one hand splayed open, index finger reaching toward the midget.)

Panel 57:
(close up of the Mighty's face. He's terrified.)

Panel 58:
(same close up. He has set his face determinedly.)

The Mighty: Fine. Give me your best shot!

Panel 59:
(close up of the Mighty's chest. Big Red's finger is pushing into his robes. Sound effect: *poke*)

Panel 60:
(view of the Mighty. He is trying to lift one foot as he falls backwards, but his shoelaces have been tied together. The look on his face is...priceless. His hands are thrown up in the air, trying to grab anything.)

The Mighty: Wha...what? What?? My shoe...

Panel 61:
(side view as the Mighty's head smacks the ground. His big silver hat snaps in half. His arms and legs are extended up and forward. His eyes are closed. Sound effect: *crack!*)

The Mighty: Ooooff!...Uhhhngg...

Panel 62:
(pan out a bit. Glitterboy and Big Red are standing over the body of the Mighty, looking down at his unconcious form. Both are relaxed. Big Red's clothes are pretty fucked up by this point.)

Panel 63:
(view from behind. Glitterboy and Big Red are walking down a nondescript street with the setting sun in front of them. Big Red is dragging Atlas by the suspenders wth his left hand and has Beam Boy and the Mighty stacked over his right shoulder.)

Big Red: I still can't believe you tied his shoelaces together.
Glitterboy: Hey, man, even slapstick can be funny at two hundred seventy miles per hour. It took him like an hour to fall down and his face looked fucked up the whole damn way. I think I'm going to do it again when he wakes up.

Panel 64:
(same view, but Big Red is looking at Glitterboy. Glitterboy is now holding a water balloon behind his back.)

Glitterboy: So, was it fucking Bird Man Villains at the Mall Day, or what?
Big Red: I guess. I'll check the callendar when we get home.
Glitterboy: Yeah, you do that, Red...or should I call you by your real name...Mr. Water Balloon Target!!!!!
Big Red: Hey, that's not fair. My hands are totally full of super villian over here.
Glitterboy: I figure the hour long wet look on your face will be worth having to carry a super villain home. But I get the midget.

Credits:
Everyone's outfits inspired by Birdman so badly that I had to mention it in the text. The crunching-handholds-in-floor-while-blasted-by-repulsive-forces scene was pretty inspired by an issue of the Incredible Hulk, somewhere around issue 397. The Glitterboy vs Beam Boy fight was inspired by Gohan's martial arts training in the Saiyan episodes of Dragonball Z. The mall itself and the people in it were obviously inspired by the stupid Pallouse Mall in Moscow, Idaho. And the oh so witty banter between myself and glitterboy was inspired by our love. Oh, ATHENA members! You've given my life so much joy!