PART 1

Ali G: Check this out, listen 'ere, I 'as got none other than me main man, Sir Rhodes Boyson in the house 'cause we is talking about the education thing. Let talk about the discipline. Do you think, Sir Rhode, there is enough discipline in school?

Rhodes Boyson: I think there is slightly less than there should be

Ali G: Do you believe kids should be caned?

RB: I do. I.. I.. I (incomprehensible)

Ali G: You do?

RB: I do!

Ali G: WICKED man! You believe kids should be caned even in school

RB: Even in school!

Ali G: Do you not think, Sir Rhode, if you get caned in school you can't concentrate as well? 'Cause a lot of people out there say that, if you're getting caned

RB: Well I was caned in.. in my time and I've.. I've concentrated all my life

Ali G: You were caned? Respect, man

RB: From that it's the ..

Ali G: Respect

RB: Yes, so I mean it.. I mean it shouldn't be done (incomprehensible), and it shouldn't be done badly

Ali G: Aye, you've gotta have good stuff

RB: You have to have rules in life

Ali G: You have to have good cane

RB: You have to have a good cane

Ali G: Okay, but you're saying the caning is cool

RB: The ca.. the caning at school and er most boys prefer it than being told off

Ali G: Aye

(Break)

Ali G: Do you think sex education should be taught in the school?

RB: No

Ali G: Why not?

RB: I.. I.. I.. I think that is the job of the family

Ali G: Do you think porn stars should teach sex education..

RB: No

Ali G: .. in school? Why not?

RB: Because I.. I.. I do not respect er por.. porn er stars as.. as.. as you say

Ali G: But they has more boning experience than anyone else

RB: Okay, but it's not the experience that.. that I want for our country

Ali G: But someone who has had a four-header, whatever, will know how to cope with any situation

RB: Well I.. the.. but some of these situations I wouldn't put myself in for the beginning

Ali G: For real, me feeling that Sir Rhodes, me feeling that so strong

(Break)

Ali G: Let's talk about the teaching methods. Do you not think, Sir Rhode, it is time for a new teaching method?

RB: No, human nature hasn't changed since the Garden of Eden

Ali G: What about rap, do you think rap should be used in school?

RB: I don't know what.. what rap is, but ..

Ali G: Rap is like, you know, "Me checkin' it, me rockin' it, me feelin' it, me rockin' it, Boyson in the house, make it feel it like a mouse."

RB: Well it's erm rather nice is that, but I don't know whether it's erm.. I think that's for the.. the school yard

Ali G: Sir Rhodes, will there always be education throughout the nation, stopping domination .. (pauses)

RB: There will always be some way ..

Ali G: .. in the station?

RB: Yeah, there.. there.. there will always be some method of one generation putting it in the work of the.. of the.. of the next generation

Ali G: Wicked! You is rocking, Sir Rhodes BOYSON in the 'ouse! Buca, buca!

RB: Thank you

Ali G: You is the man, I wish you was my teacher all them years ago and I wouldn't have turned out like this!

PART 2

Ali G: So what is education, Sir Rhode?

RB: Education is bas.. from the beginning literacy and numeracy because then ..

Ali G: Aye

RB: without those things ..

Ali G: What is them, what does them mean?

RB: The numeracy means the adding up, ..

Ali G: Aye

RB: .. literacy means being able to read and write

Ali G: Is it okay to do one of them without the others?

RB: I think you're better with the two

Ali G: Let's bring it down a bit. What is an exam?

RB: An exam is a test as whether you can un.. have learnt what you should have learnt

Ali G: So when are you allowed to cheat?

RB: I don't.. I don't think cheating does anybody good in any way

Ali G: What 'appen if you have a microchip put in your 'ead, and there is your mum on the other side with a computer who is doing the answers into your 'ead and she is clever or whatever, and you writing them down, is that cheating?

RB: Yes

(Break)

Ali G: So, what about the math? What do you reckon about the math? Do you reck.. do you rate the math or do you rock the maff?

RB: The maths?

Ali G: The math, the math

RB: What's the math?

Ali G: You know, one, two, three, ..

RB: Oh yeah, that's right, I remember that, ..

Ali G: .. four

RB: .. stuff like that, very good

Ali G: But why don't they teach proper math in school?

RB: What do you mean by proper.. proper maths?

Ali G: Why do they teach in kilos and grams, when you should really deal in ounces, quarter of ounces, eighth of ounces. Y'know, all we work is in ounces

RB: Well ..

Ali G: Why don't they modernise and teach in ounces?

RB: I prefer the old ones. I.. as being a traditionalist I would have the old things back again

Ali G: Wicked! And you need to know about quarter of ounces, eighth of ounces, all that kind of thing

RB: Well ..

Ali G: A lot of me work is to do with that

RB: .. particularly if.. if.. if you're doing bakin.. baking or anything of that kind, ..

Ali G: Aye, baking, for real, for real

RB: .. you like a bit of bread. Yeah, for real, I make my own breakfast every day

Ali G: Aye, me make me own breakfast

RB: Very good

Ali G: Aye. So, I mean, who ever bought a kilo of anything? Y'know, apart from me mate, Dave, and he's down for a fourteen-year stretch. Y'know what I mean, what is that useful for, the kilo?

RB: I'm not certain that the kilo is (incomprehensible as laughs) great one

(Break)

Ali G: Sir Rhode, do you think there should be mixed schools?

RB: I think there should be a choice, for parents and the pupils themselves

Ali G: Do you not think though if you have mixed schools all the boys will spend all their time chasing muff, and all the girls will spend all their time just preparing their muff?

RB: No, I think that if the school is running properly, if they're in well control of that school, ..

Ali G: Aye

RB: .. that it.. it.. it's right

Ali G: But me, me got an A plus in poonani but me failed me exams, 'cause me was so into the chasing the bit of (sniffs)

RB: Well, that er.. well, that's erm.. that's your fault. (Laughs) I think overall ..

Ali G: Aye

RB: .. single sex schools work better than mixed schools

Ali G: But don't you think single sex girls schools, they just breed, you know, people who drink from the furry cup

RB: Well never having drunk from the furry cup, I.. I er.. I.. I don't know what the liquor is in it. So.. so..

Ali G: You know, Sir Rhode, you know, ..

RB: Well

Ali G: .. y'know, them girls that is drinking from the furry cup, that like to eat from the bushy plate. You know what ..

RB: Yeah

Ali G: .. I is getting at?

RB: Yes, I know what you is getting at

(Break)

Ali G: You has shown that education is something wicked. Education is something special. And more than that, education is something we need throughout the nation..

RB: Yeah

Ali G: .. if we are gonna get into ..

RB: Yeah, yeah

Ali G: .. the space station. Respect, Boyakasha

RB: Right

Ali G: Big up

END