TRANSCRIPT OF ALI G AND THE ENVIRONMENT

Ali G: Everybody is talking about the environment thing. What is they banging on about? I don't know. That is why I've come down to the tree protesting site to solve the problem of the environment. And maybe to mash up some police

(Cuts to exterior of high street shop)

Ali G: Wicked! We're here at the HQ of the tree people. Gonna go in, help them out

(Cuts to Ali on sofa interviewing Tree Person 1)

Ali G: For them people out there what is they actually doing? They.. why.. why is they here?

Tree Person 1: Because there's so little space.. from what I can gather ..

Ali G: Aye

TP1: .. there's so little space left in London and they want to put a multi-storey cinema complex and a ..

Ali G: Wicked!

TP1: .. roof-top car park for one thousand cars

Ali G: But is it gonna be one of them new cinemas with all air condition and er Dolby Surround and everything?

TP1: Well, I dunno, it would be a modern structure of some sort, but do we ..

Ali G: But they is wicked, no? Should they not build this one and knock down the crap ones and then build trees there?

(Cuts to Ali inspecting building plans with TP1)

Ali G: So wait a minute, tell us what is this? That looks really wicked

TP1: Do you think so?

(Cuts to Ali discussing the plans with a second Tree Person)

TP2: It's gonna be a bit of a shame

Ali G: But it looks quite good. On paper it looks good

TP2: No, it looks horrible

(Cuts to Ali outside at protest site)

Ali G: We is now gonna meet the main copper, the guy who's sorting it all out. If it comes to a ruck who d'you think's going to win?

Policeman: It isn't gonna go.. come to a ruck

Ali G: But if it does?

P: Nah, it's not gonna come to a ruck. This is being dealt with as peacefully as possible

Ali G: Is it possible for us to get in?

P: Not at this stage because it's still dangerous

Ali G: Is it 'cos I is black?

P: (Bemused) Not at all!

(Cuts to Ali with protestor)

Ali G: D'you not think it's time for them protestors to start looking after themselves and protecting themselves proper?

M: Well, violence doesn't solve anything, does it, y'know?

Ali G: Well I don't know, it does

M: It does and it doesn't, yeah?

Ali G: Yeah, but it mainly does

M: Not really

Ali G: Come on

M: You can't (incomprehensible) nothing with violence, can you?

Ali G: Well you can

M: In what.. in what situation?

Ali G: Well, in a violent one

(Cuts to Ali watching small group of protestors playing music and singing)

"Who are the pixie people, Are you one of the fairy folk? Who are the pixie people, Are you one of the fairy folk? Who are the pixie people, Are you one of the fairies? Do you like this planet? Do you want to see it go up in smoke? No! No!"

(Cuts to Ali talking to camera)

Ali G: All right, me has heard both sides of the argument. Me don't understand either of them. But me is well up for a ruck anyway

(Cuts to Ali with megaphone)

Ali G: Buca, buca, buca, imina, imina!

(Ali continues shouting nonsense and outrages crowd around him)

TP3: Be serious, you wanker!

(Cut. Ali still with megaphone)

Ali G: You can take our trees! You can take our trees but you can't take our freedom! You can take our trees but you can't take our freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! (Ali climbs over the barricade and starts to move up the road but is prevented from doing so by two policemen) Freedom! Freedom! Come on! Me not having (incomprehensible). Can me not have a little go? Is it 'cos I is black?

END