TRANSCRIPT OF INTERVIEW OF ALI G WITH THE BISHOP OF HORSHAM - RELIGION

INTRO

Ali G: Yeah. Now go back, do whatever you have to do, come back in the second half because we're gonna be talking about my main man, Jesus H Christ with my not so main man, the Bishop of Horsham. So come back, we'll see you in the second half. Keep it real!

(Break)

Ali G: So, what does God look like?

Lindsey Irwin: Okay. Well I think the best way I can say that is erm He is sort of Jesus-shaped. When.. when you look at Jesus ..

Ali G: So He's got a beard?

LI: No, that's not what I mean, I'm talking about what's inside.. It's not that He's got a beard. It's.. it's er the sort of person Jesus was, okay

Ali G: Is He a man or is He a woman?

LI: Er, well He's neither a man, NOR a woman, He's God

A: Is He er like a ladyboy?

(Break)

Ali G: So what has God ever done?

LI: Well He made the world, okay? He created

Ali G: He made the WORLD?

LI: Okay, of course

Ali G: Did He?

LI: Well, I can only tell you what I believe, man! I mean I can't prove it to you, it's faith.

Ali G: So you're saying God made the world?

LI: I.. that's what I believe, yeah

Ali G: And since then He's just chilled?

(Break)

Ali G: So what about then the Virgin Mary. Was she really a virgin?

LI: I.. I believe er that Mary was a virgin, yeah. She found that she was pregnant. And she says, she asked the question, "How can this be?" I mean I'm not surprised she said, "How can this be?"

Ali G: But me know girls that also say, "Me find me pregnant!" (Incomprehensible) y'know, what happened and you know the mother or whatever say, "Listen girl, you know you've been mucking around. Well, maybe you was drunk, maybe somebody messed .."

LI: Okay, well ..

Ali G: ".. don't lie to me!"

(Break)

Ali G: So do YOU do miracles?

LI: Well if I have they would always have to be in the name of the Lord.

Ali G: Aye

LI: Lindsey Irwin, that's my name, I can't do miracles, GOD does miracles

Ali G: So can you do a miracle now?

LI: Well it depends what you mean. What's it mean? I mean ..

Ali G: A MIRACLE, like when you take.. Can you do a miracle now?

LI: .. what I would not do.. what I.. what I would not do, is test God. You know one of the things the Bible says is don't test God

Ali G: Aye

LI: Don't er.. don't say, "Hey, that chair could lift up in the air" to test God

Ali G: But can you do that?

LI: No I can't. It would be a miracle if everybody treated each other like brothers, wouldn't it?

Ali G: Respect, though some brothers fight and some brothers ..

LI: I know, I know they do, but that would be a better miracle than this chair getting up and moving up and down. If everyone treated each other as brothers. Now for me ..

Ali G: NO, if this chair went up and down that would be amazing!

(Break)

Ali G: But why did Jesus commit suicide then?

LI: He didn't commit suicide. He didn't commit suicide. (Incomprehensible). He didn't. He was crucified. That's the way they killed people in those days.

Ali G: Why did they kill him?

LI: They k.. Why did they kill him? Because he.. he challenged evil and when you challenge evil the forces of evil wanna destroy you

Ali G: So why challenge evil then? Why not just leave if you're gonna get killed?

(Break)

Ali G: I just wanna say Big Up. Big Up yourself

LI: Big Up

END