TRANSCRIPT OF INTERVIEW OF ALI G WITH HEINZ WOOLF
- SCIENCE
Ali G: So what is the big bang?
Heinz Woolf: Right, well what happened in the beginning erm there was a gigantic flash of energy ..
Ali G: Yeah ..
HW: .. erm and some of the energy was.. was turned into matter, and this matter, in the first mill.. few millionths of a second, erm shot out all over the place
Ali G: And was it like a really loud, ROCKING bass?
HW: Nobody heard it because none.. nobody was.. nobody was around. But ..
Ali G: But ..
HW: .. but it must have been a pretty fantastic erm event
Ali G: Was it really, REALLY loud?
HW: No. It wouldn't have been audible at all because sound travels through air and then there wouldn't have been any air. I mean with all respect again it isn't a question one.. which one can really ask
Ali G: But if it happened now, and there WAS air, would it be really, really loud?
HW: (Incomprehensible)
Ali G: Would it be like the loudest mega-bass car stereo, or louder?
HW: Erm, the.. I think the er.. the size of the reaction, which provided all the matter for the universe, is of a totally unimaginable size
Ali G: So would it be louder than all the stereos in the world, in America and in England put together?
HW: Yes, by billions and billions and billions and billions of times
Ali G: ALL the stereos in the world and in the universe and in America and England and alien stereos and whatever?
HW: The actually event would be erm thousands and millions and thousands of billions of billions of hydrogen bombs all going off together
Ali G: So it's louder than drum and bass?
(Break)
Ali G: What is the smallest thing in the universe?
HW: The smallest thing in the universe are I should think some of the elementary particles which make up an atom
Ali G: How small is they?
HW: Well how small.. I mean how.. you mean in lin.. in sort of..?
Ali G: Yeah, in centimetres
HW: Erm, ten thousand millionths of a millimetre
Ali G: Is it smaller than a sand?
HW: (Incomprehensible)
Ali G: Is it smaller than a salt?
HW: Yes, much smaller
Ali G: Sand is smaller than a salt?
HW: No, not necessarily, I mean you can get sand grains ..
Ali G: But salt is the smallest thing ..
HW: No, no
Ali G: .. known to man?
HW: Your hair ..
Ali G: FLOUR!
HW: .. if you had any.. if you had any. Erm.. erm, flour is ..
Ali G: Flour is smaller.. is the smallest thing
HW: No
Ali G: I got muddled up
HW: No, (incomprehensible) much, much tinier than.. than.. than sand
(Break)
Ali G: What does infinity mean?
HW: Infinity means that if you erm travelling by any means, whether it's Concorde or sitting on a beam of light, you'd never come to the end
Ali G: Is it a number?
HW: No
Ali G: Is it more or less than a million million million million million million million million million?
HW: More. Because you can always add 1 on to the end
Ali G: Okay, I'll add a MILLION on the end. Million million million million million million million million ..
HW: There is no.. there is no e..
Ali G: .. million million million million
HW: There is no.. there is no edge, because by definition ..
Ali G: Even if I carry on saying that all day?
HW: (Incomprehensible)
Ali G: What happens if I use zillion?
HW: It'll have no effect because ..
Ali G: Quillion?
HW: No, because the ..
Ali G: There ISN'T anything bigger than a quillion
HW: (Incomprehensible) because the principle is that whatever number you try to think of, however big it is, I can always come along and say, "I've got a number which is 1 bigger."
Ali G: And THAT number is infinity?
HW: No
END