more CrAzY JoKes!

SEMINARS FOR MEN (Harvey Kern)

1. Combating Stupidity

2. You, too, can do housework

3. PMS -- Learn when to keep your mouth shut

4. How to fill an ice tray

5. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas -- give us money

6. Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4:00am

7. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks")

8. Parenting -- No, it doesn't end with conception

9. Get a life -- learn to cook and then clean up the kitchen

10. How not to act like a jerk when you're obviously wrong

11. Spelling -- Even you can get it right

12. Understanding your financial incompetence

13. You -- The Weaker Sex

14. Reasons to give flowers

16. Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom

17. Garbage -- Getting it to the curb

18. You can fall asleep without "it" if you really try

19. The morning dilemma: shower first, THEN breakfast

20. I'll wear it if I damn well please

21. How to put the toilet lid down (formerly titled "No, it is not a bidet")

22. "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms

23. Give me a break: Why we know your excuses are hooey.

24. How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost

25. The remote control -- Overcoming your dependency

26. Romanticism -- ideas other than sex

27. Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes

28. Mother-in-laws -- They are often people, too

29. Male bonding -- Leaving your friends at home

30. You too can be a designated driver

31. Seeing the true you (formerly titled "No, you don't look like Mel Gibson, especially when naked")

32. Changing your underwear -- it really works

33. Techniques for calling home

Three Daughters

Three daughters were all living with their father. He was the kind of person who was very

protective, and he didn't trust young men. All three of the girls had dates for the same night, and

no matter how much he argued with them, their father couldn't convince them to stay at home.

Around 6:30 the doorbell rang and the father went to open it. He got out his 12-gauge shotgun,

flung open the door and yelled, "What do you want?!"

The boy standing on the door was very nervous as he said, "Well ... my name is Freddie, and I'm

here for Betty. We're going to eat spaghetti, so is she ready?" The father called Betty and they

drove off.

Around 6:45 the doorbell rang again. The father flung open the door and yelled as he had done

before. The youth said, "Well ... my name is Joe and I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show,

so is she ready to go?" Flo came running down the stairs and they drove off.

Around 7:00 the doorbell rang again. The door was opened and the boy started to speak, "Hi, I'm

Chuck ..."

BOOM!

that's enough for me... I want to go home