The Pilots

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co-pilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses. At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes the engines start spooling up and the airplane starts moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the co pilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the Captain: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we're gonna get killed!"
 
 

Adam and Eve

One day, shortly after eating the apple, Adam looked up to the heavens and said, "Excuse me God, can I ask you a few questions?" "Sure, Adam, but be quick. I have a world to create." "Lord, when you created Eve, why did you make her body so curvy and tender unlike mine?" "I did that, Adam, so that you could love her." "Oh, well then, why did you give her long, beautiful hair unlike me?" "I did that, Adam, so that you could love her." "Oh, well then, why did you make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?" "Well, Adam, I did that so that she could love you."