Attraction - The act of associating horniness with a particular person.
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Love - The delusion that one woman somehow differs from another.
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Love at First Sight - What occurs when two extremely horny - but not entirely choosy people meet.
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Dating - The process of spending enormous amounts of energy, money, and time to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like at the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
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Birth Control - Avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as using a condom, using special creams, inserting a diaphram, swallowing special pills, and dating repulsive men.
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Easy - A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
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Eye Contact - A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
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Friend - A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with her/him totally unappealing.
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Frisbeetarianism - The beilief that when you die, your soul goes on to the roof and gets stuck.
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Indifference - A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to mean 'playing hard to get'.
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Interesting - A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
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Irritating Habit - What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
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Law of Relativity - How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
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Nymphomaniac - A man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
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Sober - A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
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Stress Transferrence - The phenomenon that occurs when the anxiety of the person popping the bubble wrap moves to the person sitting next to him.
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Ambrewdextrous - Able to dance and hold a cup of beer without spilling a drop
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Beeroma - The smell left on clothing after a night of partying
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Accordionated - Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.
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Aeropalmics - The study of wind resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car window.
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Ambiportalous - Possessing the uncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and ALWAYS pushing the locked one.
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Anaception - The body's ability to actually affect television reception by moving about the room.
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Antalixic - One who passes over licorice jelly beans.
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Sniglet - Any word which should be in the dictionary but isn't.
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Foodwinking - The practice of giving exotic names to otherwise mundane products. For example, "Salsa Rio flavored Doritos"
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Milkdudes - Any two milk duds fused together by accident.
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Newtrons - The magnetized particles that amazingly hold some fig newtons together.
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Hawaska - In an atlas, the rectangular box which contains Hawaii and Alaska and is located just off the coast of Arizona.
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Discombebopulated - Whenever you are driving along and you can't find a house, and you have the address in your hand, and you can't find the address, so you turn the radio down. Somehow, this will help you find the house easier. If you ever find yourself doing this, then you are discombebopulated.
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Flushmania - When you go into a public restroom, and the whole place stinks like hell, you flush ALL the toilets before doing what YOU have to do. (Related to Flushamnesia - When you forget to flush the toilet in a public restroom.)
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Barfaroma - The stink that eminates from a person immediately after he has thrown up.
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Aquadextrous - Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
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Aqualibrium - The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
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Arachnidiot - A person, who, having wandered into an "invisible" spider web begins gyrating and flailing about wildly.
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Bargarcs - The streaks on a car's windshield from faulty wipers.
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Bathquake - The violent quake that rattles the entire house when the water faucet is turned to a certain point.
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Bleemus - The disgusting film on the top of soups and cocoa that sit out for too long.
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Blithwapping - Using anything BUT a hammer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes, lamp bases, door stops, etc.
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Blotch - To slap the bottom of a catsup bottle with increasing intensity, ultimately resulting in a blotchslide.
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Bobblogesture - The classroom activity of not knowing an answer but raising one's hand anyway (after determining a sufficient number of other people have also raised their hands, thus reducing the likelihood of actually being called on).
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Bovilexia - The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" every time you pass a cow.
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Brattled - The unsettling feeling, at a stoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up beside you is making fun of you.
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Burbulation - The obsessive act of opening and closing a refrigerator door in an attempt to catch it before the little automatic light comes on.
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Cabnicreep - The structural condition in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another to open.
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Careena - Any mangled or missing piece of highway guard rail.
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Carperpetuation - The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
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Chalktrauma - The body's reaction to someone running his fingernails down a chalkboard.
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Charp - The green, mutant potato chip found in every bag.
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Cheedle - The residue left on one's fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.
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Chingrip - The area where the chin meets the neck. Used for holding the pillow when slipping on a pillowcase.
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