Christmas time again? Tis the season to lock and load your arsenal. We thought of this one completly sober kids so bear with me it is kinda silly. Picture it Santa and his gay little elves all lit up like a mother fucking street light planted neatly in a target formation on some losers lawn. Shooting for points or just to relieve stress unload on these plastic motherfuckers. Nothing feels better than splattering santa with multi-colored paintballs. The rules are up to you and your paintballin' compadres but here is a set of our rules and points.
RULES
RULE #1: IF ANYONE CUTS YOU OFF DURING THE GAME PLAY, GAME IS PAUSED UNTIL THE BASTARD GETS SHOT.
RULE #2: DO NOT BREAK WINDOWS
RULE #3: NO PEOPLE. PAINTBALLS HURT LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER. THESE PEOPLE WILL GET YOU ARRESTED.
RULE #4: THE FINAL AND PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE OF ALL. DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT SHOOT JESUS. YOU WILL GOTO HELL.
POINT VALUES
POSITIVE POINTS
SANTA- HEAD +5 BODY +3
WISE MEN- HEAD +3 BODY +2
REINDEER- HEAD +2 BODY +1
SNOWMAN- HEAD +2 BODY +1
DISNEY- HEAD +4 BODY +2
MISC- HEAD +2 BODY +1
POLICE- HEAD +10BODY+10
NEGATIVE POINTS
JESUS- HEAD -6 BODY -5
CAR- -2
HOUSE- -1
PERSON- HEAD -5 BODY-4
LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW LET IT MOTHERFUCKIN' SNOW
When the rain turns to snow and the weather gets cold its time for sleighridin' crackhead style. What you need to play this game is an automobile, a 50 foot rope and a plastic sled. Drive to a secluded parking lot and hook up the rope to the car then take the other end and attach it to the sled. Snow banks help if you are looking for some phat arial moves. DO NOT EXCEED 35 MILES AN HOUR BECAUSE THE CRASH AND BURN STINGS LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER. USE EXTREME CAUTION WHEN CRACKHEAD SLEDDING YOU CAN BE SERIOUSLY HURT. THE CREATOR OF THIS SPORT AND WEB PAGE DOES NOT CONDONE TRYING THIS SPORT AT ANY TIME.
FUN WIT FIREBALLS
When playing with fireballs heed extreme caution. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME THIS IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. You will need three pringle cans, Duck Tape, A drill, a Grill Ignitor, and Lighter Fluid. Duck tape the three canisters individually. Cut off the bottoms of all the cans except for one of them (this will be your last can. Drill a hole in the back of the rear canister so the grill ignitor fits perfectly, tape seal. Drill a small hole in the rear end of can so you can put the lighter fluid in. Cut last canister in half, place a window screen between the two halves and re-seal it with duck tape. THis will Create your Gas Chamber. Now tape all Canisters together. Place tennis ball in the shaft and apply ample amount of lighter fluid. Cover lighter fluid hole and end cap hole and wait 2 minutes. Pull the trigger and watch the fire fly. FIRE IS COOL.
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