Q: - How can you sell your products so cheaply and still make a profit?

A - Easy! We buy in bulk, so we can afford to pass these savings on to our customers- added to the fact that we only employ slave labour from developing countries paying them virtually nothing, and making them work in sub-human conditions

Q: - Do you ever worry about your competition beating your low prices?

A -Definitely not! Because here at Brandco we offer you the cheapest most shoddily made goods that are designed to last long enough to see out the guarantee and no longer, we feel confident that nobody can offer you so much crap at such low prices!

Q: - What is the record for the largest ever pizza?

A - Ah that's easy! The worlds largest recorded pizza was made in Milan, Italy and had a diameter of an incredible 68 feet and 5 inches!

Q: - What if I am not completely satisfied with any of the products bought from your fantastic shopping service?

A: - In the unlikely event of you being dissatisfied by any of our products or our service in any way, then please feel free to complain to our customer services complaints division- although spare a thought for their feelings, all they hear all day is you whining bastards complaining about how hard done by you are- so why not try phoning them just for a chat about the weather or last nights 'Eastenders'- You'll find they're alot more hospitable!

If you have any questions or queries you would like us to answer, then please feel free to contact us using the e-mail address below:-