The Real Azian B
The Ronnie Ernst LP
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Azian B please stand up?
I repeat will the real Azian B please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here
Y'all act like ya never seen a Korean before
Jaws all on the floor like Kevin Fuller just burst in the door
And started masturbating worse than before
And was wackin' it so hard he fell over furniture
It's the return of the...
"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, he just didn't eat a burrito and take a shit, did he?"
And Mr. Holmes said...
Nothing you idiots! Mr. Holmes' dead, he's locked in my basement!
Bourbon hoes love panty hoes
"{*Eminem's vocal turntable*} Look at those, they'd match my toes
Like Ronnie really knows, crawling around grabbing his you-know-what
Humping on you-know-who, yeah, and he's such a skank too."
Yeah, I probably got a couple of boogers up in my nose loose,
But no worse than what's goin' on in Mrs. Christian's bedroom
Sometimes, you wanna go to class and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Jon Sparks to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your face, my bum is on your face"
And if I'm lucky, you might just sing Ace of Base
And that's the message that all of the skanks face
And expect them not to have a little dirt on their shoe lace
Well of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit eighth grade
They got Algebra I with Ms. Hay
"We ain't nothing but homos."
Well, some of us like girls with edges
Who cut into girls like a fat dude with tater wedges
But if we can hump dead animals and baby pups,
Then there's no reason that Allen McDaniel and Stephanie Price can't hook up.
But if you feel like I feel, it'd make me throw up
Women drink from a cup, suck my dick and get fucked up!
Chorus:
I'm Azian B, yes I've got to pee
All you other Ronnies wanna be like me
So won't the real Azian B please shut up?
Please shut up, please shut up
Cause I'm Azian B, yes I've got to pee
All you other Ronnies wanna be like me
So won't the real Azian B please shut up?
Please shut up, please shut up
Jon Ricker don't gotta cuss to be popular
Well I do so "Fuck me and fuck my shoe!"
You think I give a damn about this school?
Half of you preps are fuckin' assholes, and none of you are cool.
"But what if you had friends, wouldn't it be dope?"
Why? Who the hell are you? The fuckin' pope?
The gayest bitch here is named Tommy Cope.
Shit I haven't seen a person here who ain't gay.
Except for my pals, Jon, Brad, and TJ.
And I can't forget to mention my other bud Clay.
No girls like me, and this you can see.
"Yeah, he's cute, but he's such a loser, hee-hee"
I should download me havin' sex on MP3 and show the whole world
how I impregnated Monica Lewinski!
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
All you wearin' Abercrombie, so I have been sent to kill you commies.
And there's a million of us just like me
who eat like me; punch Ms. Hay 'cause their grade's a 33.
Who sleep like me; walk, talk, jack off like me.
And just might be the next Bruce Lee but not Chinese!
Chorus
I'm like a wet shit to listen to cause I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside of your bathroom
The only difference is I'm 86% water
I'm just getting' hotter like Sgt. Slaughter.
If I don't like your cookin' I spit it and whether you like to admit it
I just quit it and take you by your neck and I bit it.
Then you wonder how can kids eat up my vomit like valiums
It's funny cause at the rate I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirtin'
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jacking off or jerkin'
Said I'm jerkin' to a nude picture of Elizabeth Berkley.
And every single person is an Azian B lurking
He could be working at Papa John's sleepin' on your futons.
Or in the parking lot, with a baton, screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
Eating a shitload of bon bons.
So, will the real Ronnie please stand up?
And put one of those toes on each foot up?
And be proud to be out of ya mind and out of shampoo
and one more time, loud as I can, I'll sing for you?
Chorus x2
Ha ha
Guess there's an Azian B in all of us
Fuck it, let's all shut up