15 Seconds of Fame
What do you think of the state of Britain today?

  • "Excuse me, could you direct me to the nearest factory?"

  • "Crime's getting worse and worse. One day I was sitting in the park, eating my sandwiches. This man came up to me; pinched me, punched me, took the rest of my lunch from me. That was quite good, but the next day, guess what happened? He pinched me, lunched me and took away my punch. I was initially disturbed."

  • "I think the monarchy is pump in a modern society, and should be replaced with a noggin or oaf"

  • "Britain's lovely now we've got that honest Mr. Tony Blair in charge, along with dry-humoured Peter Mandlesson. I'd trust my left pug to him, including mittens."

  • "15 seconds of fame? I'd rather not put up with 13 actually."

  • "Oi you, gimme my mother"

  • "Excuse me, could you direct me to the nearest Pug abode?"

  • "Yes, well...I'm obsessed with wireless and tape recording equipment. So much so in fact, that I recorded my baby's first words. They were 'Goo goo, ga ga, John Noakes'."

  • "Quick, girl, fire - while no-one's looking!"

  • "Play my face gently, Marienne"
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