Hi there ..... Welcome to my Page !!

I'm Alvin the Flea and I live with FB!!

Size not exactly as shown.... I'm about 100 times smaller than this!

Hi there!! My name is Alvin and I'm a flea. I thought it was about time FB made a webpage for me, so here it is. You already know that my name is Alvin, and therefore your assumption that I am a boy flea is correct (I know it's difficult to tell in this picture, but trust me, I'm all man!).

I am 3 years old (21 in dog years) and I have lived quite a life for a 3 year old.

I was born (along with 16 sisters and 25 brothers) on a cold foggy day in October of 1996 in England. The host (that would be fur bearing animal) on which we resided was none other than one of Queen Elizabeth's prized Corgis. With such a large family to look after, it grew increasingly difficult for my parents, Harry and Florence, to look after us properly and thus they decided to pack us all up in search of a better life.

My first home ... what a poor excuse for a dog huh?

After months of hopping from one stray dog to another, we finally found a home on a mutt owned by a very strange lady who thought she could train fleas to do tricks. I had heard many fleatales of these so-called flea circuses dating back to the 1800's, but I didn't realize this inhumane treatment of fleas was still in practice.

Soon after we settled in, my parents, myself, and my 41 siblings were put on a rigorous daily training schedule, sometimes for 12 hours a day. I knew there had to be more to life than pulling little carts around and doing highwire acts. Then tragedy struck my family. I lost two of my siblings, the twins Tina and Tiny, in a suspicious "flying flea" cannonball accident. Then came the untimely death of my father, the exact nature of which remains cloaked in mystery (the papers said it appeared he drowned in the thimble he was diving into).

This is the pit of hell in which I spent most of my adolescence.

After a lot of soul-searching, I decided it was time to run away from the circus, in pursuit of happiness and the "good" life. I told my mom and my remaining 39 siblings that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life on display and doing death defying acts for the sake of "entertainment". They all cried, but soon realized that if my heart wasn't in it, then I couldn't continue. So, my escape was planned, and on a dark, cold, rainy evening, Mom quietly helped me with my escape. "Flee flea", were the last words I heard my mother say as I took one last look at her before I left.

The next few months are a bit of a fog, living the life of a street flea and surviving was difficult for me. I hit rock bottom when I took up residence on a London rat named Pedro, and soon realized that I needed to search out a better place to live. I decided that Canada was the place for me and set out for the long journey. I'll spare you all the horrible details of my transatlantic trip from England to Canada, it's just too shocking for the average human being to handle.

I arrived in Canada in the late spring of 1999 and fell in love with the place the minute I set my eyes on it. I wanted to be Canadian, but had a difficult time pursuing citizenship through the normal immigration channels. I tried those two very important words "political asylum", but got nowhere. Then, after watching how other fleas obtained landed immigrant status in Canada, I fooled the authorities by speaking Chinese at my refugee hearing. I love it here in Canada, there are mountains to look at, and Huskies make much better homes than Corgis or Whippets. And Fb is so great at taking me out and "aboat"<--canadian speak for about...... I've been to Las Vegas and even went back to England for a short visit, but I think I am truly a Canadian at heart.

Here I am in my new home, waving from my front door (the dog's ear).....

And here I am, way up in the mountains in Whistler, British Columbia. What a great place!! If I could ski, or golf or go in a hot tub, it would be an even better place to live.

So here I am, in August of 1999, living a happy life in Canada with my friend FB. The only thing I am missing, to make my life here complete, would be living out the rest of my life with the flea of my dreams. So, if you're a single flea of the female variety and are of egg bearing age, please send me an e-mail at [email protected] Please type the words "to alvin" in the subject line to be sure I get the e-mail (please attach a photo and indicate whether or not you "put out" on the first date). I look forward to hearing from you, and please hurry and e-mail me, I just can't wait to hear the pitter patter of little pupae.

This is where I want to take you on our first date !

Well, that's my story...... thanks for visiting and I'll be sure to keep you updated on my life and my pursuit of the flea of my dreams.

Best regards,

Alvin