The Ballad of Vegaskindaguy !
{sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies theme)

Come 'n listen to a story 'bout a man named Tim,
and his Northern Divas, who were really missin' him,
An' then one day, he had some extra dough,
An' that's when he decided where, he was gonna go !
North that is! Way North! Ca-na-da !

Well, the next thing ya know, Tim is on his way,
The Divas thought, they would never see the day, When
Vegaskindaguy would pack his bags 'n book a flight,
and arrive in Vancouver, on a February night !
Vancouver that is! Snowy mountains, lots of rain!

His flight's on time, now it's time to go,
FB was sober, the others were a show,
Lotsa folks lookin' 'round, "How You Doooooin" was the phrase,
FB was embarrased, at their alcoholic daze !
Loaded, that is! A few too many! Pissed!

Well, now it's time to greet him, he's coming down the hall,
We're standing there waiting, one more Binaca Blast for all,
The girls act all giddy as he's coming through the door,
And hug him till he drops his coat and suitcase on the floor!
Vancouverkindaguy that is ! Tim! The Skank !

Next in the hugging line, are Perfume and Van,
I'm sure Tim is thinking, "Wow, I'm a lucky man",
We stop for a picture, then say "We are outta here",
We're going back to Van's to feed, Tim some REAL beer!
Canadian that is !  Molson!  Anything but Bud!

On the next few pages, you'll read "aboat" our fun,
What a weekend!, it was great for everyone,
Sit an' relax, take off your shoes 'n coat,
Cuz it's time to see pics of Tim, "out an' aboat"
Read on, that is!  Click that mouse!  Giddyup !