HOW TO BE ANNOYING

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green and insist others you "like it that way"

Drum on every available surface

Sing the Batman Theme incessantly

Staple papers in the middle of the page

Missspil eveyting yuo tpye

Ask 800 operators out on dates

Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI Warnings

Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples' backpacks

Hide dairy products in inaccessable places

Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page

Specify that your drive thru order is "to go"

Set alarms for random times

Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeep bip bip beeep bip"

Buy large quantities of dental floss just to lick the flavor off

Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon

Insist that the word "therapists" is really "The Rapists"

Publically investigate how long you can make a croaking sound

Honk and wave to strangers

Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show

Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register

Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE

only type in lowercase

dont use any punctuaation either

Don'tspaceyourwordsout

U s e s p a c e s b e t w e e n e v e r y l e t t e r

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole roads

Pay for your dinner in pennies

Tie jingle bells to all your clothes

Repeat everything someone says as a question

Write "X - Buried Treasure" in random spots on someone's road maps

Inform everyone of your Kennedy assination/UFO/OJ Simson conspirasy theories

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind it's gone now"

Light road flares on birthday cakes

Wander around the restaurant asking other diners for their parsley

Leave tips in Bolivian currency

Demand that everyone adress you as "Conquistador"

Push all the flat Lego pieces together

At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks

When Cristmas Caroling, sing, "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained

Wear a cape thst says "The Magnificant One"

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read

Finish the 99 bottles of beer song

Sing "This is the song that never ends..." song (you know, Lamb Chops?)

Leave your turn signal on

Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it

Drive half a block

Try playing the Willaim Tell Overature by flicking the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up" and repeat

Name your dog "Dog"

Name your cat "Dog"

Inform others that they exist only in your imagination

Ask people what gender they are

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think"

Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and put the cookie parts back in the tray

Cultivate a Norweigan accent

Forget the punchline of a long joke, but assure the listener it was "a real hoot"

Routinely handcuff yourself to furnature, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off in case the big one comes

Follow a few steps behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol

Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-worker's brains such "Feliz Navidad"

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet

Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day

Make beeping noisses when a large person backs up

Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book, and demand that people pronounce every "A"

Sit in your lawn pointing a hair dryer at cars and see if they slow down

Ask to "interface" with someone

Make up words and use them in front of people and see if they play along

Sing along at the opera

Mow your lawn with scissors

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with prophesy"

Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your imaginary friend

At a poetry recital, ask why each poem doesn't rhyme

ask your co-workers mysterious questions and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about phsychological profiles"

Stare at the static on the TV and claim you can see a "magical picture"

Do not add inflection at the end of sentences

Never make eye contact

Never break eye contact

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping you hands over your ears

Construct your own tri-recorder and scan people with it

Shout random numbers when someone is counting

Give play-by-play announcements about everything someone's doing

say "said (person's name)" after everything someone says

Make appointments for the 31st of September

Invite lots of people to othre people's parties

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