You Know You're A True Amber Fanatic When...

1. You engrave a design onto your longest kitchen knife, name it Grayswandir and carry it around wherever you go.

2. You suddenly grow paranoid of your best friend-- he might be your father in disguise, spying on you.

3. Whenever someone mentions the word "brand" in ordinary conversation, you react by yelling "Psychopathic schizoid megalomaniac! I'm glad he's dead!"

4. You're a guy, and all the other guys make fun of you for always wearing a silver rose-shaped brooch.

5. You think "Random" is a perfectly acceptable name for a boy...

6. ... and so this is what you name your youngest son.

7. You get some photos of family members, stick them in the fridge (for that "cold" effect) and carry them around as Trumps.

8. No matter how angry you are, you don't want to beat up your annoying brother, because he happens to be standing on your favorite rug.

9. You see your kids eating pink Pixy Stix (candy powder) and think, "Cripes! They're eating Avalonian gunpowder!"

10. You start treating your ratty kid brother with the utmost respect, because you know he'll be appointed king someday.

11. You break up a bunch of white china plates to fashion a suit of armor like Julian's.

12. You have no intention of getting to know any ladies named Julia.

13. Or any guys named Luke.

14. You think the best woman for you has to be blind.

15. There's a relative that you dislike simply because his name is Brand or Eric.

16. You go around wearing a length of rope on your wrist. "It's my intelligent strangling cord," you explain.

17. You throw steel marbles at people, hoping to put them under a compulsion or hypnosis spell.

18. In your will, you state that you wish to be buried alongside Oberon in the Courts of Chaos.

19. You're scared of your moody, artistic brother, because you think he might go nuts and try to destroy the world.

20. You study computer science in college so you can build your own Ghostwheel.

21. You walk along the design of the Persian rug in your living room, wearing your mom's heirloom ruby pendant. When someone asks what the heck you're doing, you reply, "I'm attuning myself to the Jewel of Judgment."

22. A charming, red-headed computer salesman shows up at your door, so you slam it in his face and yell, "No, I don't know anything about Ghostwheel! Go and bug Merlin!"

23. You're in jail for regularly assaulting a large python at the local zoo. Witnesses tell of you trying to force a ruby pendant into its left eye socket, ranting and raving about "restoring the eye of the Serpent" and "Long live Chaos!"