(Note: one of the chapters contains a character named ArsonXXV; this is a reference to a message board user named Arson, who was banned for flaming and kept on coming back.)

--Written by Ronin and Sir Richard--

The scent of rich earth and dried leaves is the first thing to fill Anomen's senses as he drifts back into consciousness. Sensation returns to his once leaden limbs; he plants both hands on the ground upon which he lies sprawled, and raises himself to a half-kneeling, half-standing position. It is after he brushes the leaves and bits of soil from his gray and blue wedding clothes that he notices the young man standing before him. Dark-haired, with boyish, somewhat roguish features that carry a strange trace of familiarity, the youth in knight's attire adjusts his midnight-blue cape and flashes Anomen a faint grin.

"So you're awake," he says. "I was told I'd find you here."

"Told?" Anomen says weakly, rising to his feet and rubbing the sore spot behind his head. "By whom?"

The young man meets his gaze and tilts his head to one side, as if studying him, then turns to the sack of panties and gives it a small kick. "My, my, my. And I thought you were a decent person."

"You have not answered my question, boy."

"'Boy.'" He smiles slightly. "Don't let the cutie-pie looks fool you. I'm a Knight of the Order, just as you are. And just as old as you." He taps the Radiant Heart symbol emblazoned on his breastplate for emphasis. "I'm going to be direct with you, Anomen: your wedding's turned into a madhouse. According to my source, our fellows at the Radiant Heart know about... this..." He gives the sack another kick. "You might be able to redeem yourself by restoring order to the chaos that used to be a wedding party."

"My business is my own, boy," says Anomen, taking a threatening step towards the stranger. "And how did you come to know my name?"

"A little bird told me." The man smiles again. "Of course, that was only a jest... my former prospective brother-in-law."

Anomen blinks in surprise and furrows his brow. "Brother-in-law?"

"Once upon a time, my sister carried your picture in her locket. She would tell me, time and again, that you were the man she was going to marry." He folds his arms. "What a joke that turned out to be."

There is silence.

"I'm Sir Richard Gerard, by the way," the young man says finally.

Anomen nods solemnly. "Ronin's brother. She spoke of you quite often. I thought I glimpsed a trace of her features in yours."

From: Ronin | Posted: 3/18/2001 5:48:16 AM | Mark for Moderation

"Ronin?" Richard chuckles. "Is that what little Fox has nicknamed herself these days? ... Anyway, Anomen, I'm not here for a trip down memory lane. As I've said, your wedding has turned into a den of lunatics. You might be able to get Sir Ryan and the others to forget about your 'habit' if you solve whatever bizarre problem they have."

"What problem would that be?" says Anomen with a touch of concern. "Has anyone been hurt?"

"I wouldn't know. I couldn't get inside without... suffering some consequences. I was merely walking past the chapel, looking for my sister, when I heard cheers and shouts that one wouldn't normally hear at a wedding. As soon as I took a step through the doorway, someone grabbed me and part of the crowd tried to make me take all my clothes off. I had to struggle free."

"What in Helm's name could be happening there?"

"Don't ask me." Richard shrugs. "There's a band there, playing some music quite inappropriate for a wedding, and most of the guests are generally running wild. The rest are on the stage with the band, doing a striptease."

Anomen's eyes widen in shock. "By Torm!"

"There's a bald man with an odd purple tatoo on his face, who's trying to bite everyone on the neck... a burly barbarian juggling fruit pies... I think I even saw Sir Keldorn with half of his clothes missing..."

"By Torm!!! This... this madness must be stopped!"

"Definitely. If you're not too dizzy any more, let's get moving." With that, Richard turns in the opposite direction and strides off without a backward glance. Anomen, mildly vexed at this casual dismissal, falls in step alongside him.

After several steps, Richard turns to look at Anomen over his shoulder and stops walking. "Anomen?"

"Yes?"

"Leave the sack."

"Aww..."

"Come now, walking into the church with all those panties is _not_ going to make you look very good."
From: Ronin | Posted: 3/18/2001 5:49:34 AM | Mark for Moderation

As Anomen reluctantly sets down the sack, he becomes faintly aware of a gray mist spreading along the ground. His attention is diverted, however, by a voice calling in the distance.

"Ho there, brother!" A familiar figure, cloaked in pale blue, approaches them.

Richard grins. "Ahoy, matey!" he calls back. "Look who I've befriended here."

The figure stops in her tracks, glimpses Anomen, and immediately swivels away. "See you around, big brother."

"Ronin, wait!" says Anomen. "Please..."

"By Helm!" Richard suddenly exlaims. "What kind of sorcery is this?"

Ronin turns back to face them. "Rich--! What... what's..."

"Run, kid!" His body is now almost completely enveloped in a cloud of gray mist, which begins to spread to Anomen. "I can't dispel it! Run!"

"Rich, you're fading!" she says, running to his side.

"Get away! Don't let it touch you!" Richard's and Anomen's bodies appear to meld with the mist, taking on ethereal, gaseous forms.

"Rich! ... Anomen!"

"Please go," Anomen pleads softly. "Live, Ronin. Live, and remember me."

"Dang, man, you know I don't go for that romantic hero talk!" She thrusts a hand into the mist, allowing it to engulf her.

"No!" Richard cries. "Sis..."

His words are cut off as the world seems to dissolve into a gray haze. Darkness fills their vision; their senses, all awareness, are numbed, and consciousness is replaced by a silent void.

After an indeterminable amount of time... seconds, hours, days, years?... Richard is the first to awaken. He finds himself alone, lying on a velvety red carpet in a lavishly decorated, marble-floored hall. Gilded candles, the hall's sole light source, line the walls in delicately worked gold niches.

"Where in the world..."? He shakes his head to clear the fuzziness from his eyes. "How'd I get here? Sis? Anomen?" He receives no reply. The hall is devoid of people, save for himself. Tapestries depicting enchanted creatures of myth and legend seem to leer at him from the walls, while the candles seem to glare at him like burning eyes.

"Wonderful. Just bleedin' wonderful." He raises his head sternly, proudly, and calls out to no one in particular. "Lovely hall. I like the decorating style, but guess what? I don't plan on staying here for long. I don't know why I'm here, or what this place is, and I don't care. I'm going to find my sister, and my friend, and we're all going to waltz on out of here."

Silence is the only answer he receives. He squares his shoulders and marches onward.
***************************

On another plane, in Athkatla, Cernd stares warily at the gray cloud at the edge of the forest. Three people disappeared into it, he observes grimly... two of them being his friends.

"This is not good," he says.

How right he is.
---
Be wise. Economize.
Use toilet paper twice.

From: deatman | Posted: 3/22/2001 2:30:49 PM | Mark for Moderation

Oh, all right, I'll continue this post as best as I can.

Richard who is in the ornately decorated halls, looks around.

Richard: What in all the world could be going on here?

Richard: *Hears footsteps behind him* Who's there?

A shadowy figure steps out before him.

???: HAHAHAHAHAHA! I see you have fallen right into my delightfully decorated home!

Richard: What in the nine hells are you talking about?

???: HAHAHAHA! You are in another plane, good knight, and there really is no escape.

Richard: *Mumbles under his breath* this guy is insane! *Speaks normally to the man in shadows behind him* Where is
Anomen and my sister? And who are you?

???: Well, most people know me as Arson XXV, I've had to change my name alot for... certain reasons.

Richard: o-okay then Arson XXV... wait a minute, I know that name, you're that pompous jerk who insults absolutely everyone!

Arson XXV: That's right! HAHAHAHA! Now you see why I have to live here! Oh, and I must say, that Anomen seems to be an interesting character that I am... Interested in.

Richard: *sweatdrop* ewwwww. So, how do I get them back?

Arson XXV: Oh yes, what you have to do is challenge me to an insult contest!

Richard: I see...

Arson XXV: Yes, and whoever gets the better of the other wins. Are you up to it?

Richard: Well, if its the only...

Arson XXV: Excellent! HAHAHAHA! We'll start immediately! *walks away*

Richard: *Gulp!* I was never good at insults, how am I to do this?

Will Richard beat Arson XXV and save his sister and Anomen?
We'll just have to see...

---
People do not use and learn from life like they should...
Then before they know, it is gone.

From: Ronin | Posted: 3/24/2001 8:02:08 AM | Mark for Moderation


*Our dear Sir Richard, being a paladin, realizes that he's got one huge problem: he can't swear or use inappropriate language, because it violates his code of conduct!*

Richard: *thinking* Gyaaaah! How am I supposed to win this insult contest?! The worst insult I can think of is...
Arson XXV: Hah, are you ready, you *BLEEP!* (censored!) *BLEEP!* *BLEEP!*ing *BLEEP!*?
Richard: *cringes from the verbal onslaught* Ewwww..... *makes his voice a little louder and bolder* Sure, you loud-mouth!
Arson XXV: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! That was pathetic! You're a total *BLEEP!* *BLEEP!* *BLEEP!* *BLEEP!*ing *BLEEEEEEEEEEEP!*
Richard: *is almost at the point of covering his ears* Aaaaack! Well..... you're...
Arson XXV: You've got no hope of beating me! You're a *BLEEP!*ing piece of *BLEEP!* *BLEEP!* *BLEEP!* *BLEEP!* who deserves to be *BLEEP!* *BLEEP!* and *BLEEEEEP!!!*
Richard: OH YEAH?!? Well, YOU'RE a... a... a VERY, VERY, VERY, _VERY BAD PERSON!!!_
Arson XXV: MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! Oh, you *BLEEP!*ing *BLEEP!* That's the worst *BLEEP!*ing excuse for an insult I've ever heard in my whole life! You're never going to see your panty-grabbing friend or your bratty baby sister ever again! You'll-- urrrghhhh!
Richard: Huh?! *blinks, puzzled*
Arson XXV: *starts glowing bright greenish-blue, then floats up into the air* Hey! HEY!!! You *BLEEP!* *BLEEP!* *BLEEP!*, you said I'd get to finish him off!!!
Richard: ''You''...? Who're you talking to? What's happening here?
Arson XXV: None of your business, *BLEEP!*ing knight-boy! I'm gonna-- *ZAP!*

*The greenish-blue glow brightens for an instant, becoming a blinding flash, then vanishes, along with Arson XXV. Richard is left alone in the hall once again. He stares at where the glow used to be and frowns.*

Richard: What on Faerun...?! What was that all about?

*He resumes his exploration of the hall, soon reaching its end. A set of double doors looms in front of him. As he takes another step forward, they swing open silently. He finds himself in a sitting-room, with velvet couches in complementing shades of deep green, red and blue. Gilded candles illuminate this room as well. A pale blue crystal chandelier hangs gracefully from the ceiling. Closer examination reveals it to be made entirely of cut sapphires.*

Richard: Lavish place, here. I wonder who runs it?
---
Be wise. Economize.
Use toilet paper twice.

*Elsewhere, in a dim room unfurnished except for an oval table made from a slab of dark jade, three finely dressed figures study a glowing orb floating on the table in front of them. The orb shows Richard staring into space with a bewildered expression. (this scene takes place seconds after Arson XXV has vanished)*

??? (female): I tire of this game.
??? (male): Already, Katarin? Tsk, tsk. I thought it was getting rather amusing.
??? (also male): You know her attention span, Ferrer. Like that of a naughty pup.
Katarin: *snarls*
Ferrer: *chuckles* And a temper like that of a black dragon with a thorn in its rear. Watch yourself, Elmon.
Elmon: *dismisses the comment with a half-raised wave* The loud one. Shall we keep him?
Ferrer: *shrugs* Save him for later or remove him from existence, it matters not to me. Katarin?
Katarin: We shall keep him. He may prove to be entertaining some other time.
Elmon: *muttering* You should have known it would be futile to insinuate a contest of insults with a paladin.
Ferrer: *hears Elmon, but ignores him* The two children-- they can be turned.
Katarin: Can, and will. We shall see to that.
Ferrer: And the priest?
Katarin: Flawed, but I sense his strength. He will do.
Ferrer: The first of the three.
Katarin: Yes.
Elmon: *seems to reach into a pocket of empty space, then is suddenly holding a slim bottle of rich red wine and three long-stemmed crystal glasses* To life. *pours wine into the glasses*
Ferrer: *takes a glass* To life.
Katarin: *takes a glass as well* To life.

*The three raise their glasses for a toast, and drink deeply.*
************************

---
Be wise. Economize.
Use toilet paper twice.

From: Ronin | Posted: 3/29/2001 8:59:52 PM | Mark for Moderation

*Back at the wedding chapel...*

Haer'Dalis: *singing the Village People song "Macho Man"* Macho, macho man...
Valygar/Keldorn: *singing along, in nothing but their jockey shorts* I WANT TO BE... A MACHO MAN!
Haer'Dalis: Macho, macho man!
Valygar/Keldorn: I WANT TO BE A MACHO!
Ladies in audience: EEEEEEEEEEEEE! *cheering wildly*

*Meanwhile, Drizzt and his gang are at the other end of the hall, having a burping contest.*

Drizzt: *Urp!*
Bruenor: Hah, I can do better than that! *Urrrp!*
Regis: *URP!*
Drizzt: Hey, that was a good one!
Wulfgar: *URRRRP!*
Regis: I can beat that! *URRRRRRRP!*

*Just then, Sir Ryan comes along.*

Sir Ryan: *URRRRRRRP!!!*
Bruenor: Whoa! Guys, we've got a winner!
Drizzt/Regis/Wulfgar: *clap clap clap!*

*And Minsc is running around...*

Minsc: *goes up to Viconia, talking in a heavy Dracula-type accent* I have come to drink your blood! *grabs her and tries to bite her on the neck*
Viconia: *busily cheering on Valygar and Keldorn, suddenly notices Minsc grabbing her* Ooooh, Minsc! You're a naughty boy... *purrs seductively*
Minsc: Eek! Come, Boo! We must feed someplace else!
Viconia: Not so fast, cutie-pie! *clinging to Minsc*

*Cernd is standing by the back door, worrying. (who wouldn't?)*

Cernd: There has to be some way to stop this. But how?! Oh, this is all my fault...

*As the song ends, Haer'Dalis puts down his microphone and turns to his band.*

Haer'Dalis: What do you say, comrades... perhaps a short rest and some refreshments are in order?
Jan: We're all out of food. *motions to tables with empty trays*
Imoen: We are? Darn! I'm getting hungry.
Nalia: *hears Imoen* Now that you've mentioned it, I'm pretty hungry too...
Aerie: Me too.
Yoshi: Yeah, so am I. Are we really out of food?
Minsc: Minsc and Boo must feed! *tries to bite Yoshi*
Yoshi: Gyah! Somebody put a muzzle on this guy!
Wulfgar: *URP!* What, are we out of food? *URRRP!*
Keldorn: *still singing* Macho, macho man...
Drizzt: We're not out of food. Here! *holds up a tray of his (in)famous fruit pies*
Jan: *looks at the pies* We're out of _decent_ food, is what I meant.
Drizzt: What, you don't think my pies are decent?
Everyone else: _NO!!!_
Drizzt: ...... Is that so? I'm...... I'm so hurt..... *sob sob sob!*
Sir Ryan: Yeah, go and cry, ranger-boy! Nobody likes your stupid pies! *moons Drizzt*
Keldorn: Yeah, Ryan! Join the club! Take it all off!
Valygar: Show those muscles!

*The crowd whistles loudly as Sir Ryan proceeds to take off his clothes. Before he can remove his cape, though, somebody interrupts with a yell...*

Korgan: Hey! There's _food_ here!

*Korgan is at a table near the chapel's main entrance, standing next to a tray piled high with finely decorated, luscious-smelling chocolates. He puts down his axe (he was, umm... "redecorating" the statues in the hall) and takes one of the chocolates.*

Yoshi: Those things look good......
Wulfgar: They smell good.
Jan: Last one to the table is a rotten egg! *races to the table and grabs a handful of chocolates. The others do the same.*
Cernd: *watching from the back door, raises an eyebrow* Hmm? ... Those chocolates weren't there before...

*After everyone has eaten at least one chocolate, a noticeable change sweeps through the crowd.*

Korgan: Uhhhhh..... whaaa-? *shakes his head, as if to shake himself awake* What the bleedin'...
Aerie: What happened here? ... Haer'Dalis, where did you get that bump on your head? *points to the bump from the fruit pie that Wulfgar threw at him*
Haer'Dalis: I don't know... *rubbing his head* WHAT IN THE REALMS HAPPENED THERE?!? *points to Valygar and Keldorn*

*All heads turn in the direction Haer'Dalis is pointing. They let out a shocked gasp.*

Nalia: VALYGAR?!?
Maria: KELDORN?!?
Nalia/Maria: WHAT HAVE THE TWO OF YOU BEEN UP TO?!? *slap their husbands in the face*
Keldorn: *blinks, confused, and has no memory of what just happened... like everybody else who ate the herbed tofu* I... I have no idea. Perhaps you should ask Ryan..... *sees Ryan with his pants down from mooning Drizzt* RYAN?!?
Sir Ryan: Eh? *realizes that he's got his pants down* BY HELM!!! *pulls them up* My belt must have come loose!
Jan: *looks around* Why are all the statues missing their limbs?
Minsc: Never mind that-- why do these people have bite marks on their necks? *gestures to some of the guests, whom he bit earlier* Boo says it is not right! And Minsc says so too!

*Cernd breathes a sigh of relief and heads back towards the garden.*

Cernd: *to himself* Thank goodness for that chocolate... wherever it came from. But how could it have neutralized the effects of the herbs? It must have some magical properties...

*His train of thought is interrupted by the sound of footsteps behind him. He turns, and finds himself facing a slightly tall, dark-haired, fairly well-dressed man with angular features. The man tips his bright blue cap to Cernd and flashes a small smile.*

Stranger: Good day.
Cernd: Good day to you.
Stranger: Have you seen my children? Their mother is getting afternoon tea ready. *pauses* Well, technically speaking, they aren't children, but they're my kids, all the same. I'm Simon Gerard, by the way. *extends a hand to Cernd*
Cernd: *shaking his hand* Gerard? The famous confectionery maker...?
Simon: That's me.
Cernd: *immediately thinks of the chocolates in the chapel, then of something else* Well. Gerard. Ronin's father.
Simon: *nods* Yes, that's my daughter. Her brother would most probably be with her-- they're inseparable, those two.
Cernd: Er........ ah, how can I explain this... That cloud of mist near the woods...

*Simon's expression turns dark.*

Simon: *mutters under his breath* So they've come, have they?
Cernd: I beg your pardon?
Simon: Nothing. The cloud of mist, you say?
Cernd: Yes. They... disappeared into it. I've been trying to get help, but anyone capable of venturing after them was under the influence of Tethyr herbs.
Simon: Well, that problem's been solved. *gestures to people exiting the chapel*

(All of the characters at the wedding are now up for grabs. Let the search-and-rescue mission begin!)
---
Be wise. Economize.
Use toilet paper twice.

From: Ronin | Posted: 3/30/2001 9:16:04 AM | Mark for Moderation
--Written with Sir Richard--

The sitting room is empty of people, save for Richard. He examines the area for the tenth time (or is it the eleventh?), and comes to the conclusion that there is no visible exit.

The double doors through which he came had mysteriously vanished moments after he had stepped through them. There are no windows, no other doors. The candles in their niches seem more and more like leering eyes with every minute that passes.

A blur of color at the corner of his eye catches his attention as he begins to examine the walls for secret doors. He whirls around, ready to draw his blade in an instant, yet appearing as casual as if a friend had tapped him on the shoulder.

"A good day to you, lad," says the blur. It shimmers, ripples, then partially smoothes itself into the form of a man with strikingly familiar clothing.

"Dad?" says Richard, easing his hand from his sword hilt.

The form smoothes itself out completely, revealing the man's features. It is then that Richard realizes his error-- that mocking cast to his face, the unnatural glint in the man's eyes, could not belong to his father. He studies him more intently... yes, his features are sharper, more angular, and the trim of his coat is in an entirely different style. A perceived resemblance, caused by the blurring... nothing more.

"I'm sorry," Richard says with a slight dip of his head. "I thought you were..."

"Your dear daddy, lad? That's not a problem. Sit down."

Richard pauses, contemplating whether or not to take his seat on the red velvet couch indicated by the stranger.

"Go on, it won't bite you." The man sets himself down on a blue couch and stretches his legs. A tasseled footstool appears at his feet, out of the empty air.

"I'd rather stand, thanks."

The man chuckles again. "Suit yourself, then. How's old Simon these days? I suppose he isn't distilling liquor from dragons' blood, or making fine cheeses from minotaur milk and Underdark cave spores?"

"My father makes sweets," says Richard, raising a questioning eyebrow at the stranger. "The oddest thing that's ever come out of his kitchen is a honeyed peppermint-and-licorice butterscotch drop."

"Really?" The unnatural glint in the stranger's eyes seems to brighten. "He's abandoned his potions and alchemy... for what?... chocolates, caramels and peppermint creams?"

"I don't know about the other things you just mentioned, but yes, he does make the best candy this side of--"

Richard's words are cut off by a roaring laugh.

"Truly, lad? Simon..... a candyman? Oh, the humor of it all!" The man doubles over with mirth, drumming his heels on the carpeted floor.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Richard unwittingly takes a step backwards-- there is an unnatural aura of evil around the man, mixed with... something else, something impossible to pinpoint.

"Ah, dear boy. He never told you. I suppose he wouldn't... what with him wanting to be a 'regular person' and all. Heh. Regular person. Heh. Silly man."

"What do you know about my father?" Richard says quietly.

From: Ronin | Posted: 3/30/2001 9:17:39 AM | Mark for Moderation

The stranger lets out a noise halfway between a snicker and a snort. "Your father. Dear, dear daddy. You're his spitting image, you know that, lad? Well. Back to the question." He leans backward, and the back of the couch reclines as he shifts his weight. "Your old man, you see, used to live in this lovely castle with us. We had such fun together. My family..." He gestures towards the blue couch in which he reclines. "... My cousin Ferrer's family..." He gestures towards the red couch next to Richard. "... and my dear friend Katarin's family." He waves a hand in the direction of a deep green couch to Richard's left. "Our clan colors, those. You'll find the whole place decorated in them. I must say, they complement each other well.

"We like to delve in magic... not just card tricks and parlor games, mind you... the blackest, darkest arts. There's nothing we enjoy more. We've mastered the techniques of brewing potions and foodstuffs that increase one's strength, heighten the senses, grant immunity to nasty diseases... all kinds of wonderful things. " He folds his hands and grins, looking rather like a contented cat that has just swallowed the family's canary. "Our specialty of the house," he says with a flourish of his hands, "is a flavorful little brew distilled from souls. Humanoid souls. So far, we've only ever been able to get our hands on human souls. We'd love to get an elven soul or two... or three. The longer the lifespan, the merrier."

"That's just sick," Richard says sharply. "I--"

"One soul is enough to prolong the youth and lifespan of one family for five hundred years. The time for... harvesting... has come around, once again. We need three strong souls, one for each family, so that we can continue to live here happily."

"And you've got your three souls," says Richard, inching his hand towards his sword. "That's why you brought us here."

"No, we have one," says the man. "That priest friend of yours. We wouldn't dream of distilling you and your darling sister."

"And why not?" Richard's hand now grips the sword's hilt.

"Questions, questions. You'll find out everything you need to know if you prove worthy. Pass the tests, the two of you, and you'll get your answers, and the long life and power that you deserve. Fail, and we keep you as pets for the children."

"Who are you to toy with souls and use them for your own vile purposes?" says Richard, ready to draw his blade from the scabbard. "_What_ are you?"

From: Ronin | Posted: 3/30/2001 9:18:17 AM | Mark for Moderation

"Elmon Geisler's my name. Pardon me for not introducing myself sooner, lad. I do tend to chatter too much. Katarin certainly thinks so."

"Elmon." A new voice enters the conversation; another blur of color, fiery red this time, materializes a few paces from Richard. "Time to start the tests. It won't do if you bore the boy to death before he has a chance to prove himself."

"Don't be so stuffy, Ferrer," says Elmon. "We were having a lively little chat. Not boring at all, eh, lad?" He stands up and reaches to pat Richard on the shoulder. Richard jerks himself away.

The red blur shapes itself into the form of a caped man with slightly curled dark brown hair. His deeply set, soft hazel eyes contrast strongly with his sharp, hawkish nose. A long, extremely slender sword dangles at his silver-buckled belt. "Be strong, young one," he says to Richard, in a voice as smooth as syrup, yet cool as steel. "We'll be watching."

Richard tries to open his mouth to speak, to protest, to draw his longsword and fight his way out of the room, but finds himself unable to do any of these. His limbs are frozen in place, numbed senseless and heavier than lead.

"Sorry, dear lad, but your hand was too close to that sword for my liking," says Ferrer.

The world dims. The leering gaze of the candles becomes taunting, mocking, then is extinguished as Richard is plunged into pitch blackness. He hears Elmon's and Ferrer's voices floating through the void, as if from a great distance.

"Where shall we send him?"

"I don't know. You can decide. You're the older cousin."

"My dear Ferrer, how very kind of you. It's a shame Katarin thinks you're so horrible."

"She wants me; you know that. She's simply hiding her true feelings."

"For a thousand years, Ferrer? Heh!"

"Go and kiss an ice salamander, Elmon."

The void turns into mist, then into a wide, nearly bare room with a makeshift combat arena set in its center. Once again, Richard is alone.
---
Be wise. Economize.
Use toilet paper twice.