Things to Do for Kazuya Mishima:

1. Pick up purple business suit from dry cleaners.

2. Replace Lee's cigarettes with mini-firecrackers while he snoozes at his desk. (as if I'M not monitoring his every move!)

3. Gloat openly about how easy it was to throw Heihachi off a cliff and take over the Syndicate.

4. Yell at a few randomly chosen, unfortunate employees.

5. Gloat some more.

6. Make prank X-rated phone calls to some major stockholders. (perhaps Bill Gates this time)

7. Send hate mail to Namco for not including me in Tekken 3. (no, wait a minute, why not TAKE OVER Namco? I'll bash their brains in!)

8. Threaten to circulate photocopies of Lee's butt if he doesn't follow my orders like a mindless slave.

9. Pick on Ganryu by waltzing into his room dressed as Michelle Chang, saying "Hi, handsome!" in a high-pitched girlish voice and running the hell out of there.

10. Buy another dozen tubes of hair gel ... this stuff runs out fast.

11. Gloat some more.

Things to Do for Lee Chaolan:

1. Smoke.

2. Place whoopee cushion on Kazuya's seat just before annual business meeting.

3. Douse Kazuya's clothes with Nina's favorite perfume so that Anna thinks he's been dating her sister.

4. Replace gel in Kazuya's hair gel tubes with Super Glue.

5. Smoke.

6. Cry over Heihachi.

7. Smoke.

8. Make prank X-rated phone calls to Kazuya and claim to be one of his stockholders. (as if _I_ don't know what he's doing!)

9. Smoke.

10. Circulate the photocopies of my butt and claim that it's Kazuya's.

Things to Do for Nina Williams:

1. Make new plans for the assassination of that rat Kazuya.

2. Write love letters to Lee ... ooh, what a hunk!

3. Buy new high heels ... these old ones aren't so sharp any more. What am I supposed to use as an emergency weapon?

4. Send a Polaroid snapshot of Anna in the shower to Paul Phoenix.

Things to Do for Lei Wulong:

1. Replace targets in firing range with pictures of Bruce and Kazuya.

2. Sneak out of headquarters and watch "Titanic".

3. Return to office and take a nap.

4. Toss a smoke bomb into the chief investigator's office and rush out screaming "Fire!"

5. Replace recorded message on chief's answering machine with "Hello, scumbag. I'm probably out chasing girls right now but feel free to leave a message, you hopeless buffoon."

6. Prepare to make next Sony commercial.

7. Hang around the street corners and pretend to be Jackie Chan.