Pull this down for no reason whatsoever African wild lotion Arctic fish drill Bat-eared homo Black-backed bramble munch Blanford's Wookie Bush Fish Caped fox Corsac monkey breath Coyote cream Crab-eating crab Expensive Deer Dingo flob Fennec laced donkey Golden jerk off Gravy Horse Red monkey spaz Tibetan sand drill Fresh koala spunk bazoon

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WILD FACTS & NATURE Welcome Gang. My name is Andi. I'm a number one fan of wildlife, animals, enviroment and the nature. This is my homepage on nature. The guys at Knock2Bag have kindly let me share some of my nature experiences with you. Thanks Knock2Bag. Anyway, enough of this silly chattering; let me introduce myself again. My name is Andi. Hi there gang. I'm Andi. If you look to your left hand of the screen you will see a photo of me. Thats me - Andi Firstly, lets look at some of my favourite animals:

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SHARKS There are loads of species of these bad fish within all the oceans owned in this cruel world. They first showed up on the scene 400 million years ago, before mental disease, yoga, fire and hedgehogs. These bad boys scare me because they have teeth the size of a cow. They never run out of teeth - they have alot of them you see. As well as a strong sense of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch, sharks have a strong sense of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. Did you know that many sharks are endangered because of bad humans? I did. Sharks are hunted for all reasons. People want to learn about their knowledge of swimming, use their skin, touch them up for sex, grow olive oil and develop the car industry. In New Mexico there is a tribe that actually uses the skin of sharks to make cars. Can you believe that? Its very cruel and something must be done now.

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HEDGEHOG The hedgehog has been fucking about for almost 20 million years. They're not cuddly, they smell and are riddled with fleas. Disgusting - but they are really good fun. I like them alot. Actually I love them. But they have their problems (don't we all) -The changing use of the countryside has hit hogs hard. Modern farms, the internet, gay farmers on booze, mutant crops dosed up to their eyeballs with pesticides, badly brought up worms and violent slugs offer little support for hedgehogs. I think they're in trouble. What can we do? My hands are tied....

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PLATYPUS The Platypus or "Platypus" as its more commonly known is an animal which enhabits various pieces of land above sea level. For years, humans have taken the piss out of this animal. The Platypus is a primarily male specie (or speci) which has sparked rumours that they are all in fact gay which is untrue as a female or "slag" guards each platypusic community. The animal is also the only known vertebrate to be an invertabrate which in itself is itself. So lets hear it for the boy.

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FUN FUNKY NATURE FACTS:

• All Anteaters are divorced
• Stingrays are actually very amusing
• The Life Span of the Female Elephant is varied
• Koalas are said to smell like urine, due to their diet of urine.
• Chameleons have the ability to change colour
• Snow Leopards are very fussy
• Whale sharks are the largest fish in the world. But they can't actually swim
• Cockroaches have very long legs and have at least 200 knees - three on each of their one legs.
• Baboons are monkeys not Baboons
• The duck-billed platypus is the only mammal known to be able to detect electricity.
• Did you know...There are two species of camels, both of which are camels
• The African Wild Dog lives on a diet of mainly rope

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Time now for some real serious stuff:

SOME REAL SERIOUS STUFF

I ASK YOU:

I find it very difficult to answer this question. Man has managed to ruin nature, the earth and its surroundings such as the Ozone, beef eating parrots, fresh tree juices, oil boats, elephants, fish paste, young tennis boys, dance machines, badger nests, egg production, Tibetan tree protestors, paper plants and many many other things. We need to find out who this man is. When we find out we need to ask him - Why are you doing these terrible things to our planet? Can you change? I hope we can find him. I really do.

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AN EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT FROM MY DOLPHIN TRIP DIARY.....

.....Several days into the trip we finally had a marvellous encounter with a couple of dozen wild dolphins. It was late in the afternoon and as we were sitting on the back deck chatting and watching the water surface for signs of dorsal fins, we spotted the group heading towards us from the west. They were leaping out of the water as they splashed their way to the boat. We had plenty of time to get our gear on so everyone was already in the water by the time they reached us. Our hearts were beating fast as we felt the wave of approaching dolphin energy The sea was filled with sound; clicks and whistles and high-pitched squeals were ringing in our ears as our harpoons found their targets. The sky was turning its usual shade of lavender/blue/grey and the water surface began to reflect the light instead of being clear. It was time to head back, with our catch of the day, and sell the hapless sea mammals to the japanese to be used in a variety of food and beauty products.

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Just quickly - here's a picture of a little goose with no legs. I thankyou kindly

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BREAKING NATURE NEWS: PENGUIN VIOLENCE This is a very rare photo of two rival Penguin gangs meeting to call a truce in the North Pole district. Penguins broke an all-time record for murders during the month of March, and police think that many of these killings can be attributed to gang warfare. According to police sources, the total number of murders in the penguin community last month was eighty-eight. Police intelligence sources say that the latest increase in homicides is the result of gang "ice turf wars", as penguin gang members and penguin drug dealers fight over control of their neighborhoods. The police have targeted the leaders of the rival gangs and say that the penguin leaders are easy to spot as they always seem to have the newest clothes, most expensive cars, and to have the prettiest female penguins attached to their arms. Unfortunately, this same gang "leader" also teaches other penguins how to use explosives and automatic weapons, how to smoke, shoot, or ingest drugs and there have even been cases of them selling drugs to penguin youth. The police have been quoted as saying there is little they can do as the numbers of penguin gangs continue to grow. They can only hope that the penguin truce will hold.

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and finally.... LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT WHEN I SWAM WITH WHALES.... The whale stared at me with her grapefruit-sized eye. Im sure she was winking at me. I winked at her. She was big - weighing in at around 4000 metres long and 45 tonnes wide. She slowly and seductively manoeuvred herself into position without bumping into me - all very soft and sensual...sorry. At times, there were only inches between us. When the right moment came, I gently reached out and touched her above the eye, stroking her in those important parts - tickling her underside - rubbing myself....sorry......But she seemed to like it! She was smiling at me. I was waving back. Truely magical. Truely magical. Diving with whales is an incredible experience. When I make eye contact with a whale, I feel there's a shared trust that allows both of us to feel comfortable, naked and incredibly randy...sorry...but she seemed to like it....sorry. Whales are among the most endangered of the fish world, and they'll continue to need sympathetic humans like me to champion their cause for the foreseeable future if they are to escape extinction. I have helped. I have touched. I want to help again. Oh yes....oh yes.....sorry.