The Latest Weather



K n o c k 2 B a g F o r e c a s t
Headline: Cloudy with acne patches, mildly strechered and bent rain.

Today: Grumpy pours in Wales and the southern half of England will slowly become more deformed with a few damaged yet bright intervals developing - Ideal weather for moth sexing. Northern England, Northern England and England will be rather cloudy with twisted gay showers.

Tonight: Heavy blood-like showers in the south reluctant to die (away) but eventually becoming dull, damp, twisted and misty. Elsewhere a lot of rampaged cloud with blotchy rain becoming razor like and more widespread and depressed.

Tomorrow: Fairly Shit.

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> U K �W e a t h e r� W a r n i n g s
The cheap south may still be rather cloudy with some patchy rain and kidney drenched drizzle at first, but drier brighter 'fuck pavement' weather over remaining areas will spread like mannered dish water from the northeast. The north of Scotland will become mildly drunken and surrounded by vocal wetness later.