on refugees, travellers and the lower classes:
Hi, my name is Nigel Smyth-Cohen-Alford-Delahunty-Montgomery-Chalmers III and I'm here today to present my views on the scourge of this country i.e refugees, travellers and the lower classes. I like think that these people should like soooo be kept out of view so that we (the residents of Dublin 4) don't have to put up with looking at their filthy habits. Like imagine wearing runners that didn't cost £115, I'd be like sooooo embarrassed that I'd have to run to Daddy, get some more money off him and get him to give me a lift into town in the new Rolls Royce to buy a proper pair of shoes. It's like so inconsiderate of these scumbags to make us look at their substandard clothing.
Aswell, like I saw some guy begging on the streets and he like expected me to like give him some money, and I was like I am soooo not giving you money. What did he expect me to do like? Just give him a ten pence piece or something? I mean I like only had about three or four hundred pounds in my leather Gucci wallet. Christ, like the cheek of that selfish bastard I mean why didn't he just get his Daddy to give him a job in his company. Poor people are like sooooo lazy. For example, when our maid was cleaning the living room we were all watching television she expected us to like lift our feet so that she could hoover under the couch, like why didn't she just lift our feet for us, the lazy cow. God, hired help these days are like so bad we just don't know what to do. I blame on the parents.
And don't get me started on travellers, they County council wanted to set up a halting site near us and like my Daddy was so angry that he bribed the council so that they wouldn't like let these scumbags anywhere near our haven (Dublin 4). Why don't they like put all the travellers on the Northside with all the other poor people or in the inner city with all those junkies (there all junkies in Dolphin's Barn and the like, don't ya know?). I mean it's like ridiculous that we should have to acknowledge that there's a problem with traveller's etc. They should just put them all out of sight and ignore the problem and it go away, right? Even if the problem doesn't go away we won't like have to worry our little heads about it 'cos we're like too scared to go north of the Liffey.
I'd just hate to live in a poor area, I'd like get sooo angry at all the lazy people spending the £250 a day each that they get on the dole. I mean like that's like nearly as much as me ,and they just lay about all day doing nothing. Yesterday afternoon when I was lying in bed at half one while watching Jerry Springer and this person with a horrid Dublin accent knocked on the door saying that there'd been an accident and he had the nerve to ask if I could use his phone. He like said his girlfriend was like seriously injured and I was like "I don't care if she's injured, it'll be like one less scumbag in the world and anyway what is your sort of person doing in Dublin 4; it serves you right you filthy bastard" and spat in his face before slamming the door in his face. As if I'd let someone like that into my house with all his germs. God, we're like so superior to that sort of person.
Aswell, I'm like soooo in favour of them floating hotels for refugees, we should like totally treat them all like animals 'cos that's the only way. I mean its not like they're humans or anything, they're like Hitler said "subhuman". In fact like why don't we put all the refugees, travellers and lower class scum into these flotels and bring them out into the middle of the Liffey and like drown them all. It would like sooooo solve all our problems and leve Dublin clean of these undesirables and we could like build extensions onto our mansions but like we couldn't drown all the lower classes 'cos like I mean who would be our servants and do everything for us!